He Must Be Truly Desperate
by Clownfood
Summary: Loki had already lost three children to cruel fates, he was determined not to let Hela suffer in the same way. To secure her safety he spins a plan ambitious even for the Trickster, because it involves exposing himself to SHIELD and The Avengers. He must be truly desperate. Inspired by Loki's monster children in Norse myth (Sleipnir to Hela), set in Avengers universe. Past Mpreg
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:** English is not my native language so there might be some grammar issues. Feel free to PM me about it if you find mistakes that annoy the heck out of you. I don't own anything, etc etc. Oh, and I haven't seen much of SHIELD, so my impressions of the organisations are based on the comics and movies.

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><p>In the end, it was Loki who kneeled. Under different circumstances he might have found it funny, the trickster God enjoyed the cruel japes that faith would play, even when played on himself. Irony was never lost on him. Except for this night, when he finally kneeled down in the ash and snow, unable to keep on his feet for a minute more. This night he felt no humor, only fear, and animal-like panic as his otherwise seldom outwitted mind succumbed to desperation. He had fought, he had run, he had played his tricks and come up short. There was nothing left, he knew it even as his mind still scurried from half-formed plan to half-formed lie before discarding them at the same alarming speed. In the end, it was if the tiny weight in his arms became too much, it dragged him towards the snowclad ground and it wrestled a sound from this throat he had never before spoken in earnest:<p>

"I surrender"

Kneeled down in the snow he hung his head so that the raven hair protected him from the intense flashlight aided glares of the agents positioning themselves around him with guns traced on this frame. Normally he wouldn't fear them, but tonight was different. Concealed from their prying eyes Loki looked down at his infant daughter and the pain twisted his heart so intensely it became hard to breathe.

"Put your hands up over your head. NOW!"

The commanding voice rang out over the sound of helicopters and the faint sound of Ironmans thrusters. He recognized Captain America's voice and he was thankful Thor was not with them. No doubt his brother was hunting him in Svartalfsheim, where Loki had set a false trail for him to follow. It took all Lokis remaining willpower to beat down the instinct that called out to him to run, to shield his daughter from what would come next. With herculean effort Loki managed to beat down the horrible feeling that every time he let go of one of his children, they were snatched from him. He slowly put the tiny wrapped body on the cold ground and raised his hands. The little girl, not used to not being held by her parent, started whining and twisting as soon as Lokis hands left her body. He had to remind himself that this was what he had hoped for, even if it was the very last hope he had left.

"She is born here, in Midgard" Loki called out, and lifting his eyes to meet those of Captain America he added "She is american"

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><p>The Avengers present found themselves slightly dumbfounded by one of their nemeses suddenly surrendering after a violent fight and presenting a small child, who he claimed was american. However, SHIELD was an exemplary organization when it came to bureaucracy and they had procedures for everything, including what to do if a norse deity suddenly showed up with an infant that may or may not be a trick. So while Captain America and Ironman were still gathering their jaws from the ground, the agents sprung into action. Machines bleeped to confirm that the child was indeed real and not an illusion and engraved cuffs were slammed down on Loki's wrists and around his neck which would dampen his magic. As two agents more or less lifted Loki to his feet another moved to pick up the baby girl.<p>

"Leave it!"

Loki's head snapped up to see the one man he believed to be the most dangerous member of SHIELD, and whom Loki had sworn never to underestimate again, come striding across the battlefield. Agent Coulson stopped a couple of steps in front of the norse god, with the baby girl in the snow between them.

"Considering it's half frost giant it won't be cold, am I right?" Agent Coulson asked, his tone as pleasantly neutral as always.  
>Loki didn't respond, but what he said was true. The harshest winter on Midgard would not become someone with Juntenheim blood in their veins.<p>

"Mr. Laufeyson, SHIELD accepts your surrender into our custody. By protocol I have to ask if you know your rights, but I doubt you've familiarized yourself with such customs"

"I have the right to remain silent." Loki started, and even when so desperate as he felt, he couldn't help himself from smirking slightly at agent Coulson's raised eyebrow " Anything I say can and will be used against me in a court of law. I have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If I cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for me... Whatever an attorney is"

"Well, mr. Laufeyson, it seems you and the director have much to discuss" Agent Coulson replied without a moments hesitation and gestured for the agents holding Loki to free his arms.

"Um, what are you doing?" Tony Starks voice had a metallic tinge when filtered through the iron suits audio system.

"I believe, Mr. Stark, that Mr Laufeyson is much less likely to do something reckless if he's carrying his child" Coulson responded, but his eyes never left Lokis. The god bent down and ever so gently picked up the fuzzing child, wrapping the blankets tighter around her small body. With the necklace still in place, his magic was almost useless. There was nothing he could do not but trust in what he learnt about SHIELD from his studies, and that this law-fixated country would not judge a child based on who the mother was, as was custom in Asgard.

When Agent Coulson started to walk back to one of the helicopters Loki did not struggle as the agents still grasping his arms pushed him to follow. Capitan America, still with a confused look on the part of his face that was visible through the mask, fell in behind them. When they were secure in the Helicopter (Loki more secured than the rest of them) the Captain asked:

"Boy or girl?"

Loki looked up at him, green eyes gleaming fiercely, mind searching for mockery or insult in the patriots voice, but he found none. After a moment of stone cold silence between them accompanied by the roaring of the rotors as the helicopter rose into the pitch black night

Loki responded: "Girl"

"What's her name?"

The question hit him with more force than a blow from the Hulk as he realized no-one had ever asked that very small question about any of his children before. Hugging the little body closer to his chest, he replied in a voice strangely void of snark and hostility:

"Hela. Her name is Hela".

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><p><strong>Notes:<strong> The first couple of chapters are bound to be a little bit angsty. But the next one has Tony in it! Yay Tony!


	2. Chapter 2

Authors note: I won nothing, and this chapter contains mentions of mpreg so you know, you have been warned!

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><p>"That" Tony said, pouring a drink that would have been enough for three people to share "Was weird. I mean, even for Loki. And he once turned Spider-man into a pig"<p>

He took a sip and glanced over the glas at Bruce, who didn't look nearly shocked enough for Tonys taste, especially since the billionaire had just made a big show about re-telling the battle with Loki that had come to such a strange climax. He strode over to the scientist, casually plopping himself down on the common-room sofa next to Bruces chair.

"A million pennies for your thoughts?"

"I don't know… I just… How much do you know about old norse mythology?"

"Thor is all braggy, Loki's a deceptive dick, Odin sleeps for way too long at inconvenient times and at one point Loki cut off some chicks hair and therefore everyone hates him. Guess pixiecuts isn't their thing"

"So basically you know more about female hairstyles then actual myth" Bruce concluded.

"I know more about female EVERYTHING that most other things" Tony said with a smile that would have made Pepper punch him. Bruce felt an urge to punch him too.

"I don't think Loki was here to fight us, or pull some global prank worth billions in property damage" Bruce said slowly, clasping his hands together as he did when he was pondering something "I think he's hiding"

"What makes you say that?"

"I know what hunted people are like. I know how they think" Bruce answered softly "Of what you told me, Loki's actions seems… well, it's what I would have done"

"Okay, fine, let's say he's running" Tony mused to change the subject away from the Hulks many years hiding from institutions like SHIELD "From who? The probably very pissed off woman he fathered a seriously creepy kid with?"

"From Odin" Bruce answered "And I don't think there is a woman. I think Loki is the mother"

"M-hm. Okay" Tony said, and downed his drink "I'm going to go get three more of these, and then you'll have to elaborate on that theory"

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><p>The humans hadn't taken her away from him, not yet. Loki had assumed that as soon as the helicopter had made it's way into the bowels of the SHIELD carrier Hela would be ripped from his arms, never to be seen by him again. That was what usually happened with his children, after all. He was certain however that the humans would be kinder to her than the cruel fate surely bestowed upon her by the Allfather.<p>

But they hadn't taken her away, not even when he was escorted to the high security cell made up of steel, force fields, shatterproof glass and magic that must be the workings of Doctor Strange had they attempted to remove her from his arms.  
>Sitting with his back against the see-through wall of his prison, he desperately clung to every precious moment with his youngest child. He tried to commit everything about her to memory, the weight of her in his arms, her smell, the texture of her little tuft of raven hair. She was perfect.<p>

Of cause he always believed all his children to be perfect, even Sleipnir though the birth of his eldest had been a very traumatic experience. It was the Allfather who named them monsters in the eyes of the court and sent them to cruel fates of servitude or imprisonment. When Jörmungandr had been born, a slithering silver-shimmering snake no bigger than Lokis forearm he understood that the Aesir would deem his son a monster, but he had hope that he would at least be allowed to stay with this child, which was born to him of his own free will. When Fenris came into the world, a blind ball of black fluff that fit in the palm of his hand Loki no longer had any hope of getting to keep his children without a fight. He hid behind magic barriers worlds away from the Allfather and the ever-watching eye of Heimdall, but it hand't been enough.

So this time, when he had first noticed the signs that meant he was once again with child, he'd started what was to be maybe his most grand scheme yet. Even for the trickster god this one was ambitious, months of creating fake trails for the Aesir to follow and conjuring illusions to throw Heimdall off his true path, while Loki prepared himself in a small cabin in a desolated northern county of the United States of America.

If a god would have had someone to pray to, Loki would have silently given thanks to that deity the night Hela was born and looked almost human. She had ten fingers, ten toes and those deep-green eyes all his children had. The color of her skin was off though, as the left part of her shared the unnaturally pale, almost shimmering skin of her snake-brother, while the other half had a deep blue shade that Loki credited to his Jötunn heritage. But she was perfect, and she looked human enough for an organization that dealt with large, green rage-monsters on a weekly basis, or so Loki hoped. So he set the final part of his plan in motion, got SHIELDs attention and prepared himself for a life in a prison cell, be it in Asgard or on Midgard. But at least, for the first time in many years, he believed his child might be safe.

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><p>The agents that finally came for him where heavily armed and with good cause. If Loki had not had a plan that involved strictly not gravely injuring any members of SHIELD he might have done something awful with the gentle-voiced woman that instructed him to put down his child so that they could properly cuff him. Even in his weakened state Loki was still capable of giving her nightmarish hallucinations for the rest of her natural life.<p>

He found no comfort in that however when he placed Hela on the cells simple cot, gently stroking her head one last time before his arms were trapped by iron behind his back. It took everything he had not to struggle and fight against the people who would separate him from her, especially since the tiny, unusually silent girl started making small scared noises when she was no longer in the familiar security of his arms.

As he was escorted out of the cell someone else picked her up, for the first time in her very young life. Loki didn't turn to watch, but he felt it in his entire being and when Hela started to cry he felt like the sound tried reached into him to try and rip his heart out. He kept his composure, even though he felt like he was breaking, piece by piece, with every step he took away from his little perfect girl.

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><p>Authors note: I didn't intend for this to become such an angsty story, and it's going to get worse before it get's better. Itook some creative freedom with the chapter, as I know Marvel uses their own terms (or maybe it's just English translations) for some things (like Jötunn) but I'm going to stick with the Scandinavian spelling as much as possible, since that's what comes natural. I changed Hel into Hela though, per Marvel canon. Hopefully it doesn't get all confusing. Next chapter has lot's of dialogue to lighten up this text-heavy one!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

The walk to the interrogation room was a haze. Loki was so focused on walking upright that he didn't have time to pay attention to anything else. It wasn't until long after they arrived and the agents had securely fastened him to the large, metal table that Loki realized his acting might not be quite as good as he thought it was.

For the first time in his many encounters with SHIELD he was in an actual room, seated on a chair with an empty one opposite and nothing separating them except from the table. Usually Loki would get the royal treatment where no talking was allowed unless there was a force-field and a small army between him and the designated agent. He straightened up, focused, and tried his best not to look beaten as he heard the door behind him open.

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><p>It wasn't directory Fury that entered and took a seat opposite to him, it was once again Agent Coulson. Wearing his standard black suit and polite, neutral expression the agent sat down in front of the Norse god and folded his hands on the tabletop, waiting for Loki to start.<p>

"I was told I would speak with Director Fury" Loki stated, after a moment of silence that Agent Coulson seemed completely comfortable with.

"I'm the warm up" Coulson replied "How many children have you had, Mr, Laufeyson?"

"That is hardly of your concern" Loki snarled "I have an offer for..."

"Yes, from the fact that you suddenly seem very well versed in american law we figured you have some sort of deal for us. Either that or you've suddenly gotten Cops in Asgard" Coulson smiled faintly at his own joke, but it vanished in an instant "However, Mr. Laufeyson, you must also be aware that US government agencies are not in the habit of making deals with terrorists. So I'll ask you again, how many children have you had? We never really managed to translate all the old runes, so our mythology might be a bit different from what actually transpired "

Loki's mind raced, but his face betrayed very little. He couldn't have misjudged them so, he had been thorough. There must be a point to this, or perhaps Coulson just wanted to grieve him. Dropping a hint about mythology sure seemed like he might know at least the basics. Loki gritted his teeth and tried to quench the dark, stinging pain that seemed to seep out from his stomach every time he needed to think of his poor children.

"Four" he answered, his voice half-way between a growl and a whisper.

"What are their names?" Coulson produced a small notebook and a pen that he clicked before taking notes.

Loki took a deep breath before answering, and fixated the agent with a glare that would have sent lesser men running.  
>"Sleipnir, Jörmungandr…"<p>

"Can you spell that out please?"

"Not in your pathetic and limited Latin, no!" Loki spat.

"I'll just write it the way it sounds" Coulson said, seemingly unphased by Lokis outburst. With his eyes still fixated on the notepad he gestured towards Loki "Go on, please."

This was a game. It had to be. Loki was normally good with games, but right now he was performing a delicate balancing act not to either attempt to murder the agent with his pen, or break down crying and begging for mercy for his daughter.

"The next was Fenris. Then Hela"

"All sons except for Hela, correct?"

"Yes"

"And how many of them did you mother?" Rasp rasp rasp went the pen over the paper.

"All of them" Loki straightened, waiting for mockery that did not come.

"And how many of them are dead?"

The question shocked the god, and it made the darkness inside of him lash out in every direction.

"I do not know" Loki had to swallow hard to keep his voice steady.

"If you would estimate Mr. Laufeyson, how many of your children are likely still alive?"

"I can not..." Loki had to stop talking to keep his voice from breaking.

"You are the god of lies and you can't come up with an estimate?"

"I can not speculate on how many of my children are dead. I have to believe they live!" The last part he had almost shouted. Had his hands not been chained to the table Loki might have hidden his face in them, now he simply rolled them into fists and tried not to weep.

"Very well, Mr. Laufeyson" Agent Coulson neatly put back his notebook into the coat pocket he'd produced them from and once again folded his hands on the table. He looked right at Loki when he started to speak

"We assume that you wish to strike a deal. Some sort of exchange for the safety of your child. Is that correct?"  
>Loki nodded, only barely.<p>

"What are you willing to offer in exchange?"

"Anything" Loki whispered "Everything"

"Duly noted" Agent Coulson said, getting up from his chair "You will be escorted back to your cell now"

When he did, Hela was gone.

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><p>"That was the cruelest thing I have ever seen" Natasha Romanov said when Agent Coulson joined her in the small observing area behind the interrogation rooms one-way mirror.<p>

"Had to be done" Phil answered with a weak smile, but it was obvious he wasn't entirely okay with what happened inside that room either.

"I guess you just have to focus on all the evil shit he's done over the years" Clint shrugged.

"The man has lost three children and fears he'll lose a fourth" Steve said, the epiphany of a stand-up guy in his civilian clothes "Who wouldn't turn dark after something like that? I'm not saying he should be forgiven, but it wasn't okay to treat him like that!" With those words he strode out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

"That… was unexpected" Clint commented, looking at the door.

"Not entirely" Agent Coulson said softly and shared a secret look with Natasha. She understood. She might not approve, but she was clever enough and had been with SHIELD long enough to see what was going on. Agent Coulson was on a recruiting mission.

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><p>Authors notes: Sneaky mean SHIELD is mean and sneaky. Next chapter, more Loki feeling like crap, and Captain America being a good guy!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Loki was no stranger to the numbness. When all his efforts to save Jörmungandr had failed and his son had been cast out from Asgard the god of chaos had not felt the urge to bring Rangarök down on all of the Aesir as Odin had probably expected. Instead he had just stayed on the brimfrost as the Allfather returned to his halls, staring out into the star-lit void between the nine worlds, feeling nothing but an emptiness. In time, that emptiness would fill with anger, and plots, and that sticking dark sinking feeling of utmost despair. He had fallen into it again when all his tricks failed and Fenris had been taken away. And now the numbness had filled the place where he had stored his hope for keeping Hela.

SHIELD had not told him no. But no matter their decision, he was surely never seeing his child again. And once more, he had not been able to say goodbye.

"She will be safer here" he whispered, trying to fill the emptiness with the sound of his own voice "Safer. Better."

Starving.

Aesir did not need to eat nearly as much as humans, so the thought had slipped his mind until now. A flash of ice cold fear broke through the numbness. What would the humans do when they found out what his daughter ate?

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><p>Steve Rogers tried to remind himself that Loki was a liar. Not only that, but the god of lies. Not that Steve believed in any other gods then the one true god of course, but the Norse people had to have gotten their notions of Lokis skill at deceptions from somewhere. After all, some more of the disturbing myths seemed to be true, why else would Loki admit to not being the father of his children? Things were different in this century, sure (With immense glee Tony had told him that women no longer needed men to procreate), but this had shocked even Tony. There was no reason for Loki to lie about such a thing, but that didn't mean that he was not acting in his cell.<p>

Steve had watched the last couple of hours security tapes on one of the constantly monitored screens that traced Lokis every move inside of his glass-cell. However, there was not much to see. When Loki was led into the cell, he quickly glanced over the thin cot placed on the bare floor and that was it. After that he just stood in the same spot for almost an hour. Then he sat down and it looked like his legs just gave out under him. After that he had not moved.

Steve had been to wars, he had seen men broken by the sound of bombs falling around them, men who cracked under the pressure of a constant threat of death, and he had seen the apathy take hold of those who no longer had any fight left in them. The Trickster God looked worse than all of those combined, and Captain America did not think Loki was putting on an act. He was really prepared to offer anything for the safety of his child. An innocent, american, child, who Steve was certain SHEILD would send away. He could not let that happen.

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><p>Normally a visit from Steve Rogers would delight Agent Coulson, but this time he knew it wasn't going to be pleasant. He didn't enjoy manipulating his childhood hero. The agent knew what the captain was going to say even before the large man had banged the office door open.<p>

"You have to grant the child amnesty" he stated, with the commanding voice of someone who wasn't use to not having his way "She's innocent, and she's born american"

"Allegedly" Coulson replied, putting down his tablet on which he was reviewing a case report "There is no birth certificate. Mr Laufeyson didn't exactly check in at the local clinic"

"Bureaucracy aside, the child is innocent" Rogers continued while positioning himself in front of the desk "We have to keep her safe. It's what we do"  
>"Safe from who? Her grand father? Thor?" Coulson spread his hands "They are her extended family. According to law we should release her to them"<p>

"Loki fears for her life if that was to happen"

"Loki, the known super-villain, is probably right in doing so. They don't seem to be big on second chances in Asgard, and Odin hasn't exactly been kind to Lokis other children, if you believe the stories" Coulson sighted rubbed his temple "This is a tough one, Capitan"

"It's really not, sir" Rogers replied "Protect the innocent. It's what we do"

"That's harder than you would think" said Coulson and invited the captain to sit "We have no idea on how to care for an Aesir child"

"Surly Professor Xavier would…"

"...Have no clue what to do either." Coulson finished "An Aesir by Lokis blood is born to be magical, not a mutation. Besides, he has his hands full with fighting these new anti-mutant legislations. I don't think he would risk the bad press of hosting a super-villain child"

"Well then Thor…"

"Would need to take the child back to Asgard, by order of Odin" the agent interrupted again "Besides, Thor knows as much about magic as he knows about particle science. What do we do when someone needs to teach her how to use her power?"

"Training might not be so important. We could send her to a normal foster home..."

"And then come back 12 years later when she accidentally sets fire to an entire neighborhood and imprison her then when she has already racked up a death toll?"

Capitan America was out of ideas, and it was as if someone let the air out of a balloon. Slowly he placed the flats of his hands on Coulsons desk breathing out a deep sigh.

"So there is no hope for the girl then?"

"I didn't say that" Coulson said and leaned forward, eyes fixed on the Captain's face "I have an idea. But you're not going to like it"

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><p>"Apparently the FBI does it all the time"<p>

"If the FBI jumped off CLIFFS all the time, should we do that too?!" Tony shouted, spreading his arms wide and glaring at Steve.

"Well, we do jump off…"

"Figure of speech!" Tony snarled and then calmed himself with a deep theatrical breath and spoke to all the gathered Avengers "You guys have to see how insane this is?"

"No more insane than keeping a huge, green rage-monster on an aircraft carrier" Natasha coldly stated, and then directed a "No offense" at Bruce.

"None taken" Bruce murmured back at her while Tony shot her a mean glare.

"Well, Doc isn't evil" he argued "He just has a temper"

"That has leveled the occasional block or two." Bruce said calmly, taking off his glasses and polishing them on his shirt sleeve " Some would argue that is enough to make me into the enemy. And some argue that industries making a fortune of manufacturing weapons are evil"

"Hey now I'm all about clean energy now!"

"...and some would say that the ends justify the means." Bruce continued, ignoring Tonys interruption "It's not so black and white, the notion of good and evil. Especially not in this day and age"

"If we're going to argue philosophy we're going to be here all night" Natasha stated matter-of-factly, leaning on one of the conference rooms many high-back chairs "We should say yes. It would benefit SHIELD, and by extension, everyone under our protection"

"I can't believe I'm the only one against this!" Tony exclaimed "He's dangerous! Clint, help me out here!"

Hawkeye just shook his head.

"I want to put an arrow through that guys neck for what he did to me, and I just might if he stays around" he said, avoiding eye-contact "But then again I'm pretty sure there are some pissed off people out there who would kill me for revenge given the chance."

"We're all dangerous" Bruce replied softly "It's kind of the idea."

"Wow, this is a tough crowd" Tony let out a sound halfway between a sigh and a grunt and heavily sat down in one of the hairs "The only one of you who doesn't have a horrible secret past is to much of a family values-kinda guy to be on my side."

"Fine" he muttered "If you're all so keen on the idea I'm not going to be the party pooper. But when he warps the carrier into a different dimension that consists only of hostile giant wasps I get to tell all of you 'I told you so!'"

"So we're all in agreement then?" Steve asked the room after Ironman has finished his sullen monologue, and they all nodded in solemn agreement. After a moments silence Clint spoke up:

"I call dibs on NOT being the one who has to tell the God of Thunder the news"'

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><p><strong>Authors Note:<strong> I'll be the first one to admit that I'm not very well versed on how to write Steve, I just kinda see him as this stand up guy who would never accept injustice, and who's moral compass isn't as ambiguous as many other members of SHIELD. Also, don't worry, what Hela eats isn't going to be anything nasty, just unusual. Also yay, thanks for the reviews! Next up, the grand plan comes together!


	5. Chapter 5

Note: Lot's of talk about past mpreg in this chapter. You have been warned!

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><p>Loki wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. So far SHIELD had made no attempt to execute him for previous tresspasses, but he had considered that it might be a possibility this time, since they might have acquired knowledge of what could kill a god. He had entertained the thought of being locked up forever in a prison cell, which seemed to be the most plausible outcome of his grand scheme. He would not mind either, as long as it meant Hela was safe.<p>

He had however not in his wildest dreams been expecting to be presented with a sheet of papers, a pen, and a promise of protection. He'd been staring at it for so long that Agent Coulson felt the need to ask:

"Um, Mr Laufeyson, do you read latin letters?"

"Of cause I do" Loki spat, but his voice didn't hold the usual level of hostility "I am simply contemplating their meaning"

"You did say you would do anything for the sake of your child" Agent Coulson reminded him softly "This is what we ask of you"

"To swear allegiance and servitude to SHIELD?"

"We usually don't call it 'servitude', but basically, yes"

"So I simply sign this and then what? It is an ordinary a piece of paper with writing, is it not? There is no magic, or SCIENCE or what you call it to keep my promise in place. I don't actually have much honor to swear upon either" The concept really baffled Loki. How could the humans world function if promises where only sealed with words and never magic?

"You will find, Mr. Laufeyson, that violating a contract can have very serious consequences here on earth, even if they're not magical" Coulson replied with a casual smile and tapped the paper "This is our offer: You swear to give up your villainous ways, and serve out your punishment for crimes committed as an consultant of SHIELD, where you will use your powers to aid our organisation. Currently your time comes to about 115 human years. You will enjoy a small amount of freedom, but you will be locked up, monitored, your powers contained and you are not allowed to leave any SHIELD headquarters. In exchange we offer our protection for your daughter. We will provide food and shelter for you both, make sure she get's an education equal to other children born in America and you will be allowed to help her develop her magic, should she gain any of your abilities"

Loki was simply staring at the bafflingly ordinary-looking man across from him, who was saying such extraordinary things.

"You… will allow me to see her?" The only reason his voice was holding was because he was afraid to hope, still.

"Mr Laufeyson, under SHIELD supervision you will be allowed to raise her, up until the point where she is old enough to make decisions for herself, when she may choose to leave"

Lokis head span and for a moment he thought he might fall over. He would be allowed to be with his child.

"Please make note of this though, Mr. Laufeyson" had Agent Coulsons politel stern voice not snapped him back into the reality at hand he might have shed tears "If we suspect even in the slightest that you might try and escape with her, we will take her away from you. If you violate our rules or the terms of the agreement, we will take her away from you. If we believe that you are in any way preparing her for battle or filling her with hatred for SHIELD, The United States of America or the human race, we will take her from you."

"Why would I do that" Loki mused as he picked up the pen "When you have shown me greater kindness in days than my family have my entire life?"

With a hand that almost didn't shake at all, Loki signed his name on the dotted line of the paper that promised protection for him and his children. With a smile that seemed more genuine than his usual ones Agent Coulson instructed him to please write it again in the latin alphabet underneath, since not many people read futhark runes. When Loki finished Agent Coulson collected the paper and stored it in a file with Lokis name on it.

"What now?" Loki asked, almost timidly.

"I except you would like to see your daughter" Agent Coulson replied as he moved to undo the handcuffs that kept Loki chained to the table "I'm sure she's pretty hungry by now"

"You are aware of what sustenance she requires?" Loki asked, fear flashing through him.

"We figured it out. You don't really seem to be producing milk, we found no formula in your lair and she had no teeth" the agent held the door open for the trickster god "However, it was very tricky to find a suitable nursemaid, she didn't accept what we offered her, so the poor girl is probably starving by now. We should go"

Loki walked out of the room and the chains that was still secured around his wrists and neck clattered while he hurried out in the heavily guarded hallway, where he was met by the Director of SHIELD. When the one-eyed man stopped right in front of Loki he braced himself for the punch he expected to receive, but instead Director Fury simply said "Welcome to SHIELD. Don't fuck up" before striding past.

"This way, Mr Laufeyson" Coulson said and gestured towards the opposite end of the hallway "It's time to get going"

It wasn't until then that Lokis brain finally registered what had been so odd about the little sheet of paper which had just made him into a willing slave of SHIELD. He stopped dead and started at Agent Coulson.

"It said 'children'" Lokis voice hardy more than a whisper.

"Indeed it does" Agent Coulson smiled "Not many people read futhark, Mr. Laufeyson, but I do. And if there is a giant sea snake somewhere in our oceans, SHIELD wants it on our side. We can discuss it in greater detail some other time"

* * *

><p>Loki has expected that he at one point would be confronted by some of the Avengers, but he hadn't expected it to be the same evening. With Hela in his arms he had been escorted to his new, slightly more comfortable cell, that only had one see-through wall and was furnished with a small desk with a chair, a proper bed, a dresser and an empty bookshelf. Someone had put in what Loki assumed was the midgardian equivalent of a cradle, which Loki had no intention of using since it had bars on it which he didn't approve of. He would simply keep his daughter in the bed with him, as he had done with Jörmungandr and Fenris when they were little. He'd hardly stepped foot into the room and heard the door click several times behind him before the most verbal Avenger showed up on the other side of the glass.<p>

"Hello, your highness!" Tony Stark greeted with a huge smile "Art thy quarters to thy satisfaction? Or is the lack of thrones on which to rest your rump bothering you?"

"These quarters are well enough, but the company could be finer" Loki answered, gently putting the sleeping Hela down on the bed.

"How do you think Hawkeye feels?" Tony replied, noisily pulling a chair up to the glass.

"Would you mind?" Loki made an annoyed gesture at his sleeping daughter "This cage is sadly not sound-proof"

"Oh, is that the monster-kid?" Tony tried to peek around Loki to get a better look at the child.

"Think what you will about me, Stark, but she is not a monster" Loki growled as he moved closer to the glass, blocking Iromans view.

"Fine, then, let's talk about you" Tony replied and made himself more comfortable on the chair.

"Let's not. I am certain you have some more important meetings to attend to, probably with a variety of liquors"

"I can't think of anything that would be less of a waste of my important time than you" Tony replied, unphased by Lokis attempt at an insult "I'm worth like, a million a minute. But let's face it. You're going to be here for quite a while. And there are some thing that we need to clear up, otherwise it's just going to be super-awkward for everyone. And I don't like my work environment to be super awkward, it throws off my genius"

"Fine" Loki answered after a moments silence. If the Iron man wanted him to answer for his actions in New York, Loki couldn't really blame him "State your business. Quietly, if possible"

"Aren't you a dude?"

Open hostility flashed in Lokis eyes. To be considered less of a man was a serious insult in Asgard, and a mocking jape Loki, who fought with magic instead of steel, had endured his entire live. When Loki didn't answer Tony elaborated on his question:

"You know, aren't you a male of whatever species you are?"

"Yes, I am" Loki answered, giving him a dangerous look that didn't become Tony at all.

"So how come you're the baby mama of all those mon.. creat… kids?"

"I would hate to think that something as simple as my gender would make me predictable" Loki smiled coldly.

"No, but for real, how can you have babies?" Tony kept on "I just want to know so that I don't accidentally bump into you in the hallway and suddenly I'm the dad of a giant octopus"

"Is this really what you came to question me about, Stark? My reproductive abilities?"

"Yeah! It's just going to bug the hell out of me if I don't know" Tony spread his arms to empathize his words "I'll be all distracted from my work, and who knows what the result of that might be!"

"Perhaps you will misspell your lit-up name on one of your giant fallos-towers" Loki mocked.

"Exactly!" Tony exclaimed "I'm glad you understand my predicament!"

Loki sighted. He was too tired to trade quips with a man who seemed immune to mockery. The god of lies concluded that simply telling Stark the truth would probably going to get rid of the man faster than trying to get him to leave by acting hostile. Besides, as Stark said, he was going to be here for a long while, and if Thor came for Hela, the Avengers would have to fight him off. It might be smart to show a little cooperation. After casting a quick look at Hela to see if she was still resting calmly he sat down on the floor, bringing him into eye-level with stark since the cell was slightly elevated, probably to hide an abundance of security mechanism underneath.

"Every time I have been with child has been a little different" Loki started, and Tony actually leaned forward in his chair "I am a shapeshifter, as you should be aware of by this point"

"Yeah, but I thought those were tricks, like, illusions" Stark answered "I've seen shape-shifting mutants in action and your magic doesn't seem to work in the same way as their abilities do"

"It is true that most forms you see me take are illusions" Loki replied "But I am also a shapeshifter. However, when I take another form I retain some of my characteristics, such as the color of my hair and eyes"

"So you transform into a female you and then you go out and hunt for a man to make you preggers?"

"Actually the first time I ran away from one. Not fast enough though" Loki found some amusement in Tonys cringing face.

"But that's it then, you turn into a female, have sex and then BOOM, baby?" Tony looked ready to leave, but Loki stopped him.

"It has turned out that I do not necessarily need to be in a female form, nor do I require to mate with a male in order to produce new life. The mating, however, is necessary, to my knowledge"

"Wait, hold up" Tony held up both hands in front of him "So you can get pregnant even if you sleep with women? That's just against every law of nature and science"

"No, as I said, the mating part is required so simply sleeping…"

"'Sleeping with' means 'mating with' here on Earth" Tony instructed.

"That seems like an inconvenient choice of words" Lokis face lit up in a mischievous smile "Either that or you are doing one of the two things incorrectly"

"Let's leave the birds and bees-talk focused on you" Tony replied "How the heck can you get pregnant from sleeping with women?"

"Truthfully, Stark, I do not know" Loki replied, and at the same time realized this was the first time he had ever spoken to anyone about this "Here on Midgard you seem to revel in every opportunity talk of procreation, but in Asgard it is different. These matters, especially when they befall a prince, is not to be spoken of other than in mockery and japes. Nothing is written down. Therefor I have almost no knowledge of the procedures, except for what I have been able to gather from my own experiences"

"And what's your theory?" Tony felt like he might be getting more information than he was after, but at the same time this was strangely interesting, like a car crash.

"Magic"

"That's unsatisfactory"

"It is the best explanation I can offer" Loki said with a wry smile "The reason I can notice when a seed has taken root is that my magic starts to diminish. I theorize that it sustains the child while it grows within me. Perhaps the same thing happens to female magic users, I never found the right opportunity to ask mother about it"

Automatically Lokis hands went to his midsection, where all his children had once rested.

"So, yeah, I almost don't want to ask but I kind of have to" Loki was made aware that Tony was looking at his stomach "What about birth? Like… how does the kid come out?"

"Is that not obvious?"

"I really, really hope they don't come out the way I'm imagining"

"When the time is right, I cut them out of course" Lokis eyes narrowed "Why, what did you think?"

"Something so much worse. I don't want to talk about it"

"Birth is not a beautiful thing for any species, Stark" Loki snarled "It is painful, and bloody and terrifying for most. It is what comes after that is joyous. While it lasts" he added quietly, absentmindedly rubbing his stomach.

"Well, this has been enlightening" Tony got up from his chair and stretched his arms "Maybe a bit too enlightening. I'm going to go have those important meetings with bottles now, I think"

"Yes, I absolutely enjoy the thought of how this new knowledge will not make you feel in the slight bit awkward, Stark" Loki smiled "Good fortune with your giant towers"

"And good luck with your new venture to not be a power-hungry tower-smashing jerk" Tony smiled back.

"I believe your green friend caused more damage to your property than I" Loki responded while standing up.

"Yeah, maybe. I still have you-shaped depressions in my living room floor" Tony responded "I kinda like them! Anyway, see you around"

As Tony turned to leave Hela made a whimpering noise and Loki was quickly at her side,picking her up. Rocking her in his arms he didn't notice that Stark has spun around, until the man spoke

"Hey Loki. For being your kid, she's kinda cute"

He left before Loki could decide what to answer.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note:<strong> Yay, Stark! This conversation was kind of the reason I wanted to write this story at all, but it just got waaay out of hand, considering it took me five chapters to get to it! Next chapter, some cute stuff, some angsty stuff and some Hawkeye! If you have a moment to spare please review!


	6. Chapter 6

That night Loki allowed himself to relax. In the dusk of his never-fully dark cell he unwrapped the blankets covering his daughter and dressed her in the midgardian clothes he had found in one of the drawers. They didn't fully fit, as Hela was much smaller than an average human babe and her arms and legs where longer, if the sleeves and legs of the clothing was any indication. Loki found delight in the very small socks provided for her, though he would never admit such a thing to anyone.

Loki considered going to bed in his own asgardian clothes, but human garments had been provided for him as well. They were made in a soft, unfamiliar fabric and all of the sweaters had SHIELD logos on the front and the word "Prisoner" written on the back. Needless to say Loki did not approve, but he could not wear the same set of clothes for 115 years. Well, he could, but he assumed it would be frowned upon, and he preferred to change his clothes of his own free will rather than to wait for the inevitable day when Agent Coulson would politely force him to.

When he had undone the buckles and slid out of his familiar leather clothing into the SHIELD-appointed outfit he felt small. He wondered how he looked to others, raven hair all a mess, in loose-fitting human clothing. The small lavatory (with no walls of glass, thankfully) that was joined to his cell had no mirrors, and he had avoided to meet the gaze of his reflection in his see-through wall. He wasn't comfortable with looking beaten, but it might not hurt his chances here if he was perceived as less of a threat. So maybe these ill-fitting human clothes would suit his purposes.

He slipped into the bed next to Hela and pulled the child close so that her back rested perfectly along his forearm. With what magic he could muster with the necklace still on he made one of his teeth into a fang and bit into his finger. As Hela greedily took nourishment from his blood Loki pushed away the feelings of inadequacy, guilt and pain and allowed himself to remember how all of his children had seemed to fit perfectly in his arms, as if they had been made to rest there. Or perhaps he had been made to told them.

When Jörmungandr had been little he had never curled up when sleeping as you would expect something with a snake body to do. Instead he'd pressed himself along Loki's side and wrapped himself around his mother's neck, sleeping soundly with his head hidden in the warmth of Lokis hair. When his second son had grown older, and a lot larger, he used to wrap himself several laps around Lokis waist, slither up his back and rest his head on the gods shoulder, as Loki read to him or taught him things. When Balder had ripped Jörmungandr away from him it...

Fenris would never go to sleep unless he rested on Lokis body. If forced to sleep on anything else and the pup would fret and whine, so Loki started sleeping on his back, with Fenris nose nuzzled at his collarbone. How did he sleep now, all alone in the…

Even Sleipnir, who had been born by a different body than Lokis human form had fit perfectly. The boys huge head would rest easily in his lap, as he sat for hours in the stables, telling stories to his first born and brushing tangles out of his mane. Did Sleipnir hate him now, for his actions against the Allfather, who his first born seemed to willingly serve? Was he ashamed of his mother? Had anyone told him about New York, or was no one talking to him now, was he considered a simple beast to live out his life in silence in the stables?

Hela made a small, happy sound and fell asleep at his side. Loki pulled her closer, hid his face against the top of her head and silently wept for his other children.

* * *

><p>Days went by and Loki and Hela was more or less left alone, unless you counted the ever-watching guards following their every move inside their cell. One time they had been moved to a small shower room, where Hela had been absolutely thrilled to splash around in a small tub while Loki had the first shower of his life. At first he had been skeptical of the notion of cleaning oneself in artificial rain rather in the more sensible artificial lake, but when his five minutes where up he had to give the midgardians credit. It was wonderful.<p>

Helas bath time wasn't as restricted, so she spent the major part of a morning playing around in the small pool of water with Loki aiding her as best he could with his tightly cuffed wrists, while half a dozen heavily armed guards stood in a circle around them. Hela seemed to take a liking to one of the smaller female guards as she kept trying to splash water on her combat boots, while the guard just smiled a warmly at the child. Loki made a mental note that if he ever needed to fight his way out of SHIELD, he would try to spare her life.

Agent Coulson came by to exchange pleasantries and ask Loki to look over some field reports on anomalies that SHIELD believed be caused by magic. The trickster god did as he was asked without a fuss or snark. After he had handed back the report, he was confronted by two very nervous, very British, scientists that had some extra questions for him regarding the workings of some of the things he had described. Loki enjoyed the fact that they were too scared of him to stand close to the glass wall separating them, but he took his time and tried to answer their questions without mockery. He was somewhat successful. They were such easy targets.

* * *

><p>The first time he was separated from Hela was to visit Ironman in his laboratory. Chains were secured around his wrists and legs, and even around his waist as he was led away by Agent Hill and four guards in full riot gear.<p>

"That's a good look for you!" Stark greeted with a huge smile when Loki was ushered into the room "Very 50 shades!"

"Why am I here, Stark?" Loki snapped. He didn't like being separated from Hela, even though Agent Hill had ensured him no harm would come to her, since she was their way of ensuring that Loki behaved outside of the cage. Loki had appreciated her honesty, as it actually made him feel less anxious, but he still wanted to get back to his daughter as fast as possible.

"Someone thought it was such a wonderful idea to let the super-villain near all of our pretty top-secret equipment!" Tony answered, shooting Agent Hill a meaning glare "I'm being sarcastic, by the way."

"Thank you for clearing that up, Mr. Stark" Agent Hill replied calmly.

"I was afraid I was being to subtle" Tony continued.

"I do not think you have anything to fear in that regard" Loki commented with a cold smile.

"You don't get to talk" Tony actually snapped his fingers at Loki "You might be the only person on this planet with a bigger self-assertion complex than me"

"I'm glad you two seem to hit it off" Agent Hill said and started to head for the door on the opposite side of the lab "I'm going to leave him in your capable hands, Mr. Stark"

"Oh, what, no no, don't do that!" Tony protested, hands waving to give empathize to his words "That's like leaving me with a wrapped gift and telling me I can't open it until December. I'm going to want to open it!"

Loki was suddenly very aware of the variety of weapons and tools scattered about the room. Without turning his head he cast a quick look to his side to see that all the guards had stayed behind in the lab, so he was not alone with Stark. However, if Iron man would decide to test how some of these weapons worked on a god, Loki was sure the guards would not intervene. Stark seemed to have followed Lokis trail of thought.

"I'm not going to hurt you, unless you make me" he stated matter-of-factly and pointed to an iron rod on a bench "I made that for you, should you get up to any mischief while you're here. It's biologically coded so only humans can use it, and it packs quite the punch. So ground rule in my lab: you do anything stupid, you get the stick."

"I do not threaten easily, Stark" Loki spat "And I do not fear pain"

"A lot of people think that until they experience like, A LOT, of pain" Tony smiled.

"Worse than your incessant babbling?" Loki replied and Tony let out a short, hard laugh.

"If we get to have a trail round with the stick, you can fill out an evaluation report on what was worse" he motioned for Loki to follow him to one of the rooms many computer screens "Glad to see you haven't lost your snark in captivity" he added.

For the better part of the day Loki tried to explain the workings of a magical force field that SHIELD had found while Tony tried to translate it into some sort of science that he could work with. It wasn't pretty. They traded more insults than information, but Stark was quick to catch on to what Loki was trying to explain and the god of lies was more cooperative than the philanthropist would have thought. At the end of the day, it had been educational for Tony and Loki had made no attempt to grab any weapons or rule humanity.

"Hold up!" Tony halted the progression that was leading Loki back to his cell "Take this"

He shoved a thick book about particle science into Lokis cuffed hands.

"It'll be easier to work with stuff like this if we're speaking the same language" Tony explained.

"Yes, heaven forbid you would have to broaden your mind with talk of things that are not within the grasps of your limited science" Loki replied, but he accepted the book and started to read it in his cell that night, when Hela slept on his arm.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors note:<strong> Chapter length, TLDR? These last two have been a lot longer than the previous ones, and I'm thinking they might be too long to read through, and maybe I should shorten them. Also, I try really hard not to make this fic too angsty, but it just keeps happening! Oh, and I know I promised Hawkeye but I cut that part since this was already way to long. Maybe later. Next up: Thor has arrived!

Oh, and about Lokis neck-cuff/collar, I'm thinking it's made using the same technology that Trask uses to suppress mutants powers. It doesn't fully remove Lokis powers, but it severely dampens them, making him easier to handle.


	7. Chapter 7

SHIELD wasn't fully prepared when Thor finally showed up. His arrival came at a terrible time, Ironman was doing a press tour in Europe, Capitan America was off with director Fury on a top secret mission in the middle east and Agent Coulson was on a pretty good date. Therefor there was no one to stand in the thunderers way as he stomped around the carrier looking for his brother, shrugging of SHIELD Agents as minor annoyances during his search.

Loki had heard the thunder that signaled his brothers arrival, but there was little he could do. In a panic he considered a variety of options based on what he had access to in his little cell. The chair could be broken into a sharp wooden stick. All the furniture could be used as a barricade for the door. Perhaps he could somehow set the bed on fire. But in the end it would all be useless and just make him look pathetic. If he had full use of his magic he could have greeted his brother with an illusion of himself, and then slip out the door as Thor entered, but with his powers dampened by the damned collar there was no way he could make a plausible version of a full grown man. When Thor finally showed up at the other side of the glas the only thing Loki could do was try to keep his composure and trust in his verbal skills.

"There you are brother!" Thor exclaimed rather cheery for someone who was being fired at by his co-workers "What lies have you spun to make them act so?"

"Speak to the Son of Cole, brother, and he shall tell you this is not part of any trickery" Loki replied steadily, using Thors version of Coulsons name "We have an agreement, and they are simply honoring it"

"There is no honor to be found in putting others in harms way, Loki" Thor said gravely while undoing the many locks that kept the cell door shut "Which is what you are doing by simply staying here with whatever creature you have produced"

"She is a danger to no one!" Loki almost shouted.

"Sir, step away from the door please" Thor completely ignored the small woman who Loki recognized as the guard who had favoured his daughter with a smile once.

"Your weapons will not harm him" Loki directed his plea towards the female guard "Do not fire, just get Stark, or Agent Coulson to explain…"

He cut himself off when the door to his cell swung open and Thor entered. When his brother headed for the crib Loki flung himself in his path in an attempt to stop him that was so useless Thor actually laughed. It wasn't a mean-spirited laugh, but it reminded Loki how painfully weak he was compared to his brother when it came to raw body strength.

"Brother, if this bothers you so, why do you keep birthing these cruel jokes?" Thor asked, amused, pushing Loki aside to reach the crib "What is it this time? Another serpent? Perhaps a giant spider to unleash on Vanaheim?"

"A child!" Loki screamed "Like all of your other nephews whose suffering amuses you so!"

"Your tricks do not amuse me Loki, nor father" Thor replied sternly "And your creatures were given kinder fates than your disgrace required"

"Death would have been kind in comparison! Do not touch her!" he screamed as Thor lifted the small child rather briskly from the crib "Brother, Thor, I beg you, leave her!"

"It worries me that you would take this charade so far" Thor said and held up the child for inspection "Your hunger for power I can understand, but this. Look at the creature, Loki. It is no child"

"Yes, look at her! Really look brother!" Loki begged, arms stretched out in an attempt to reclaim his child "Look at her eyes! Those are my eyes! Look in the eyes of Sleipnir, you will see them there as well. Had you bothered to look all my children in the eye before you made japes with your friends as they were taken from me you would have seen my eyes in all of their faces!"

"You are only making things worse for yourself" Thors hand rested heavily on Lokis shoulder before he shook it off "Perhaps if you stopped disgracing yourself in this way father would…"

"HE IS NOT MY FATHER!" Loki screamed and Hela made a scared noise where she hung in Thors careless grip "And contrary to popular belief not everything I do is to attempt to spite him. Give me back my child! You can not take her!"

"I must" Thor said, gently showing Loki aside "This is for your own good. And I will be back for you shortly, Father wants you close. These humans can hardly contain you for long"

"Sir, release the child!" the woman bravely stood her ground as Thor exited the cell, showing Loki back in as an afterthought when he tried to follow.

"Do not stand in my way" Thor said gently to the woman as he shut the door on a furious Loki "This has to be done. It is none of your concern"

"Whit all do respect, sir, it is" the woman calmly explained "Mr. Laufeyson has an agreement with SHIELD which includes the protection of his child. If you would just stay long enough for Agent Coulson to get here…"

"I will speak with him later, but this matter is urgent and needs to be handled before it causes any harm"

"Hela" the woman said, as Loki sank down on his knees inside his cage "Your niece's name is Hela. And she's caused no harm"

Thor gave the woman a curious look before he looked over to Loki, who pressed both his hands against the glass.

"Brother, please…" he pleaded, but Thor was already leaving down the long hallway "Just look at her! JUST LOOK!"

Since he carried the child the remaining SHIELD agents did everything in their power to stop Thor without firing their guns. Needless to say, it was futile. When Loki was sure Thor was gone, he quickly got on his feet and picked the real Hela up from one of the dresser drawers where he had hid her among his SHIELD-assigned clothes.

"How long until reinforcements arrives?" he asked the female guard who had come back to check on him and the locks on his door.

"So that wasn't..?" she started but Loki interrupted her.

"My brother will be triumphantly returning to Asgard with a pillow" Loki could not help but gloat, even when weakened and frightened he was still able to pull tricks on his brother, but his smile quickly faded. "The spell will not hold for long and when he returns there will be no tricking him with simple illusions. Not with this collar still on"

"Agent Coulson is inbound on a helicopter"

"What about any of the warriors who might actually be able to stand their ground against my brother?"

"They are currently otherwise occupied, but agent Coulson…"

"Will be as useless as the rest of you" Loki growled and moved closer to the glas "Know this human, if you fail to hold down your end of this bargain I will tear this ship apart piece by piece with all of you still on it!"

"Mr Laufeyson, I understand you feel frustrated and scared for your daughter" the woman answered calmly "But threatening us isn't going to do you any favors, I'm afraid. We had everything under control"

"Does that word mean something else on Midgard?" Loki hissed "Because from here it seemed like you were able to put up as much resistance as leaves against a storm!"

The woman simply pointed to one of the small, black objects with a blinking red light that was imbedded in every corner of Lokis cell.

"You forget that we watch everything you do" she explained "We weren't trying to stop him, we were buying you time."

"So your idea of protection is to stand idly by while I protect myself?"

"No, we had a back up plan should yours fail" the woman explained "But we considered your plan to be plan A, since we didn't want to hurt Thor. He's an Avenger, after all, and most of us like him. We hoped you might be able to convince your brother to wait and talk to Agent Coulson, since you're the Trickster and the God of Lies. We assume you don't get those kinds of epithets for no reason"

Before Loki could answer she turned away to respond to something that was being said in her ear piece. Loki looked down at the child in his arms and his own eyes, only slightly darker, looked back at him.

"You are such a clever girl" he whispered to Hela "So clever and brave not to cry"

He looked up to find that the female guard was watching him. He felt a prick of annoyance but he beat it down.

"Thank you" he said quietly "For telling my brother her name"

"For what it's worth Mr. Laufeyson" the woman replied "I hate you, and everything you've done to this country. You deserve to rot away in the deepest hole we can find. But your kid ain't no monster"

Strangely enough, Loki felt that her words was actually worth something to him.

* * *

><p>When Thor returned, red faced and angry, SHIELD was ready. Agent Coulson met him on the out door flight deck with his usual courteous smile and a small army of soldiers specially equipped with prototypes of the rods Stark had been developing to handle Loki. As Thor strode towards the door Agent Coulson walked up to meet him alone.<p>

"Do not attempt to stop me, Son of Cole" Thor said angrily when they closed in on each other "I do not know what Loki had done to persuade you to protect his spawn but believe me when I say it is dangerous"

"I will have to attempt to stop you, I'm afraid" Agent Coulson said with a smile "I would really like not to have to, though. I hoped you might allow me to show you something?"

"Stalling me with gain you nothing" Thor replied.

"No, but it might gain you something" Agent Coulson retorted while falling into step behind the thunderer.

"I fail to see what that would be" Thor did not even shorten his stride when he approached the line of soldiers waiting for him.

"A brother"

Thor stopped and turned to face the agent and a howling wind gripped his hair and cloak as he stared grimly at Coulson.

"All I ask is fifteen minutes of your time" the agent elaborated "The child is still very little, I doubt it will bring about chaos in the next thirty minutes. If you would follow me, this way please"

And Thor did, to the relief of every soldier on site.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors note:<strong> Next up, Thor being less of a jerk! Yay!


	8. Chapter 8

Agent Coulson led Thor to his office, where he offered him coffee that the god of thunder did not accept.

"You said you had something to show me, so show me" Thor said irritably "I need to get back to Asgard in haste"

"I need to ask you a couple of questions first, I'm afraid" the agent replied with an apologetic smile "As you probably know by now, we have signed a deal with your brother that ensures that he serves out his time as a prisoner and consultant of SHIELD"

"A foolish thing to do" Thor said darkly "Loki can not be trusted, nor controlled. Father wants him back in Asgard, where we can hold him proper"

"And you can have him, in 115 human years, when he's served up his time here" Coulson replied, sipping his coffee.

"He has committed crimes that he needs to answer for!" Thor was visibly irritated.

"Indeed, and he needs to answer for them here as well, and last time I checked we didn't have an extradition treaty with Asgard" Agent Coulson was not bothered by Thors sharp tone "Since we live a lot shorter it is only fair that he faces time here first before he's returned to Asgard. He has already been a very valuable asset to our cause"

"I have the utmost respect for you and this organization" the thunderer said with less hostility "And what you say make sense. But you cannot hope to hold him"

"We have held worse things than Loki" Agent Coulson smiled "Don't worry about that. And I give you my word that if we can't hold him, you can have him. 115 years is nothing for your kind, surely you can wait so that the people who crave justice on earth can have it?"

Thor seemed to mull this over before he slowly nodded.

"Let it be so. The Allfather will understand" he said and then added "But if he makes an attempt o flee you must call me and I shall take him away. The monster must return with me now"

"What makes you call her a monster?" Agent Coulson asked curiously "She's just a small child"

"All Lokis beasts are small in the beginning" Thor answered grimly "But they grow big. Very big, and very dangerous. They need to be taken care of before that happens. They are prophesied to do terrible, destructive things"

"Here on earth we're not accustomed to judging people for crimes not yet committed. We're not big on prophecy either, but we do have something called 'self-fulfilling prophecy'. Are you aware of it?"

"No, I can not phantom why it would matter if…"

"It's a psychological term" Coulson interrupted "Simply put it means that if you treat someone as a monster for long enough, they are bound to start acting like one"

"You are stalling, Son of Cole, and my patience with this is wearing thin" Thor crossed his arms over his massive chest "Show me what you mean to show me or I shall leave to claim the chi...creature"

"Very well" Agent Coulson gestured to the large flat screen TV that hung on on one of the walls of his office "This is security footage, taken a couple of days ago. I thought you might like to see it before you take Hela away from your brother"

The screen showed a grey-scale image of Loki, in his cell, with the creature resting on his arm while he was reading a heavy book. There was a small sound from the creature and Loki instantly averted his eyes from the pages and directed his attention to the small body. Caressing the little miss-colored head with his fingers he slowly rocked in his seat, mouthing something barely audible. After a moment Thor realized he was singing, softly, and the recognized the melody as one Frigga had sung to them as children when they were fussy and wouldn't sleep. A small unnaturally white hand stretched up to touch Lokis face, and his brother smiled without malice,glee or mischief, just a warm, happy smile. Thor had never seen his brother smile like that before.

Except, he realized, that wasn't true. He had seen that smile on Loki once before, when Thor and his friends had caught him in the stables, telling Sleipnir a story. The thunderer felt a sting of guilt when he remembered how terrified Loki had looked when he realized he'd been caught, and how he had asked Thor to please not tell their Father. Thor had thought it all a great jest and retold the entire thing with much laughter to his father and anyone else who would listen. Loki had been severely punished for spending time with his first born son, and "Maremother" had been a nickname told behind his back since then.

Thor had never considered that Loki might actually feel something for his monsters. It was just so not like Loki to care about anything but himself, and the story of his first pregnancy had always been treated like a joke. By everyone except Loki, he realized. As he watched his brother rock his youngest child to sleep he remembered how broken Loki had seemed after his snake-child had been cast out, and how hard he had fought to keep the wolf pup.

"They are monsters" Thor said quietly, more to assure himself than agent Coulson.

"Mr Odinson, during the past 20 years humans have been giving birth to everything from angels to blue teleporting demons" Agent Coulson started as he switched off the television set "We have a saying on earth: 'a face only a mother can love'. It's mostly used to mock people who are not conventionally pretty, but it also tells of the bond between a parent and a child. What others might perceive as grotesque, a parent can still love with all their being. You probably feel some small part of it as well"

At this Thor spun around to face the agent.

"I have no children"

"No, but you do have a brother who is more of a monster than most people" Agent Coulson replied and fixated Thors eyes with his own "Did that stop you from loving him?"

"He is my brother" Thors voice was thick "Of cause I will always retain some love for him"

"And that little creature is his child" agent Coulson finished "and he loves her. You know it."

Thor could not meet Coulsons eyes.

"And besides all that" the agent continued and produced a small piece of paper that he showed to Thor "She's an american citizen, and taking her would be considered kidnapping by the american government. There is simply no way for you to take this child out of our custody legally"

"You can not hope that your law would stand up against…"

"No, but we do trust in you honor" Coulson replied before the protest could fully be made "Didn't you swear that you would aid our organisation, and protect the Earth?"

"I did, but…"

"And you intend to break that vow?"

"Of course not but this is not as.."

"Then aid us by leaving Loki and his child in our custody. You can stay and help if you like. We're not big on magic in this realm, and new threats we haven't even thought up levels for yet keep emerging every year. Your brother is a great asset in preparing us to handle these new threats and his child is a vital part of our agreement. I believe he can do some good, before you send him off to whatever fate you have planned for him in Asgard. If the child turns out to be disruptive, we'll call on your aid and you can take her away with you. But until then, until she actually does something, she is not to be punished."

Thor was speechless, as Agent Coulson stood up and finished with "And if you attempt to take her, we will be forced to take action against you. That might ignite a conflict neither of us want"

"You would go to war with Asgard over the creature birthed by a criminal?" Thor asked.

"Mr Odinson, when this country stops fighting for freedom, liberty and justice for all it's citizens, we've already lost"

Thor stood silent, a huge silhouette against the room's only window, mulling over what he had just seen and heard.

"You have given me much to think about" his voice was a rumble in his chest " Very well. I agree to this arrangement, and I vow to not take this child from Loki unless it causes trouble. But you have been thoroughly warned, Son of Cole"

"Duly noted!" Agent Coulson smiled and produced a contract and a pen from a desk drawer "Would you mind signing this?"

* * *

><p>Lokis heart beat so fiercely that he was afraid it would wake Hela up where she slept in his arms. His brother had been on-board the carrier for the better part on an hour and he'd still not come for the child. None of his guards told him anything, and he was furious at them. Anger was easier to commit to than fear. He was half way through a very elaborate chain of insults in old norse directed at the two guards stationed outside his door when footsteps approached from down the hallway. He instantly gained his composure and his face was a cold mask when Agent Coulsons familiar neutral smile appeared on the other side of the glass.<p>

"All sorted out, Mr. Laufeyson" he greeted and pressed one of his beloved papers at the window "You and Hela are safe here, Thor will not come to take her away"

"You are very found of these paper-thin promises" Loki commented as he bent forward to read the document.

"Well, we also made him swear threefold on his honor and his name" Coulson said as the document vanished into his suit "We thought that might be more in line with what you're used to in Asgard"

"You keep saying 'we', Agent Coulson" Lokis eyes narrowed "But it is just you, is it not?"

"Well, I do a lot of the talking" the agent smiled.

And the scheming, Loki thought. How much of this had come out of Coulson manipulating everyone around him? The trickster again had to remind himself that the agent was not to be underestimated.

"Thank you, Agent Coulson" was all that he said.

"None of this was done out of the goodness of anybody's heart, Mr. Laufeyson" Coulson replied "We're simply following the law. Time to start paying the nation back for that"

* * *

><p>Thor had expected Odin to be furious when he returned to Asgard empty handed for the second time, but the Allfather had not seemed to care at all that his eldest had not retrieved the monster nor his wayward adoptive son.<p>

"If the humans wish to expose themselves to the chaos that follows in Lokis wake, so be it" he said grimly from his enormous throne "We have warned them, and they have been too feeble-minded to listen. Perhaps having that monster child unleashed on their world will teach them a lesson for the generations to come"

Thor hadn't been certain if Odin spoke of Loki's child, or Loki himself, and he said nothing in reply.

As he exited Odins halls, Frigga came to greet him with a soft eyes in a tired face. She slipped her arm into his and they walked in silence along the gilded balconies of Asgard, until she finally asked:

"How is he?"

"I only met him briefly and there was no time for pleasantries" Thor answered with a sigh.

"There was never much time for pleasantries between the two of you" Frigga smiled sadly "But you used to share laughs, once"

"When we were very little, perhaps" Thor answered and looked out over the lake "Mother, did you know?"

"Know what, love?"

"That he hated me so. Has he done it our whole lives?"

"I saw envy in him, as a child" Frigga said softly, halting her steps so that they stood shoulder to shoulder, watching the sun play on the lake "I also saw how bright he was and how that wit made him lonely, as he used it to prove himself more clever than those he always lost to in rough and tumble games. He did not hate you, Thor. He wished to be like you, and he started to despise himself for not being able to. I tried to make him develop his own skills, but he was always seen as the lesser of the two of you, foremost by himself"

Frigga gently shook her head, her sadness clear as the day was bright.

"We should have told him earlier" she continued "I should have known better than to try to keep the truth from him. Tricks and lies was all he had. It was his shield of cleverness and it was destroyed when he realized he was not the trickster, but the one who had been tricked."

"You did not trick him mother, there was no malice…" Thor started but Frigga interrupted him.

"Imagine you go through your entire life building it upon the notion that you are more clever than anyone else, and then it turns out that you are not clever, because someone has played you for a fool all your life. It is not what me and your Father intended raising him as our own, but it is how Loki understands it"

Thor stood quietly next to his mother, watching as the wind created waves on the water, making it sparkle like diamonds in the sun.

"Do you love him, still?" he asked softly "Even after all he's done?"

"I shall love him always" Frigga answered, facing Thor and placing her hand on his cheek "More the boy he was than the man he became, but yes, always. You are both my beloved children, and it pains me to see you fight"

Thor could not help but to think of the midgardian expression that agent Coulson had told him off.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note:<strong> See, Thor is not a bad guy, he's just clueless!  
>This story is getting out of my hands now, it was never supposed to be this long, and it just kinda keeps going! Next time, monster-kids are weird, random every-day life at SHIELD and Tony's back! Upon request I'm going to try to make Loki a bit more snarky and sarcastic, seems like there's room for it now when he doesn't have to be afraid of Thor and Odin. Oh, and also, I'm not american, I'm Swedish, so I have no idea how extraction-laws and stuff like that work in the states, and how much a government agency would protect kids. But I trust Colsuon knows what he's doing! OK, it's very late, I'm going to stop rambling now.<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Loki didn't sleep much in his artificial cycle of day and night, since he required much less rest than humans, but he made it a point to spend the nights laying next to Hela, cradling her in his arms while she slept. While his cell was never fully dark, the outside of the glass wall was pitch black during the nights, leaving him exposed in his lit up cube.

Almost every night, as Loki lay wake next to his little girl, he could feel the archer watching him from the darkness. As the weeks went by, he became less and less subtle about it. One night he appeared so close to the glas that his blue eyes seemed to shine like a wolfs when the light from Lokis cell was reflected in them. Loki gently got out of bed and stood on the opposite side of the glas, steadily meeting Hawkeyes cold gaze. None of them spoke, and eventually the archer silently slid back into the darkness.

* * *

><p>As the months passed, Loki noticed that his small cell started to accumulate things. Slowly his small desk cluttered up with printed papers and reports for him to look over. He was not allowed anything sharp, not even a pen, so with great effort he made all his notes on a small tablet with no internet connection.<p>

The simple bookshelf was suddenly holding a small collection on midgardian science, as well as some children's books that Agent Hill had dropped off and a copy of 50 shades of grey, a rather crude piece of literature that Loki assumed had been sent by a snickering Stark. There was also the odd stuffed animal that someone had left for Hela. She had taken a shine to one in the shape of a pink bear that had a small bell within it's stuffed tummy, and the sound of the constant ringing as she waved it around for hours sometimes drove Loki insane. Then he reminded himself that he was lucky this time, where he could spend so much time with his child that it sometimes became tedious.

There were some anomalies with Helas development that worried Loki. She grew rapidly, but gained almost no weight, and though her legs and arms became longer, she made no attempt to walk or crawl. When placed on the floor she would sit and curiously pick up things within her reach, but she made no attempt to explore their confined living quarters or reach colorful things placed outside of her grasp.

Even though his children had been vastly different, they had all shared curiosity, as most babes do. Even Fenris, who in his early days were afraid of even his own shadow, would investigate new things when he found them. When Jörmungandr was a no more than a year he had developed a bad habit of attempting to fit everything he could find into his mouth, which resulted in Loki having to pull the strangest things out from his son's throat. Hela did none of that, she seemed to have no interest in the world around her as soon as it was out of arms reach. Sometimes though she would make small happy sounds and point to things in the shadows Loki could not see.

Her hair would shift in streaks of grey and it could grow inches over a night, which meant she had to be taken away to get it cut every couple of days. Once when she was returned to him the guard informed him that she had attempted to bite one of the SHIELD nurses that also served as barbers for the small child. Loki must have looked shocked because the guard assured him that this was normal, even in human babies.  
>"She's probably just teething" the small female guard that hated him smiled.<p>

She had been right, and a couple of days later Loki had to give in and ask one of his guards to call Agent Coulson, or whomever was in charge of him. A tried-looking Coulson arrived several hours later and pulled up a chair to the glass wall.

"Mr Laufeyson, what can I do for you?" he asked politely, placing one leg over the other.

"I can not feed Hela on my own anymore" Loki admitted, settling himself on the floor of his cell "She requires more nourishment now than I can give"

"Ah-ha" Agent Coulson produced a notepad and a pen from his pockets "So what you need is what, larger quantities of blood?"

"I do not know" Loki sighed irritably "It has been different with every child. Sleipnir I gave milk, Jörmungandr caught insects and lizards from the day he was born and Fenris had a she-wolf for a nursemaid"

"What did the father eat?" Agent Coulson asked.

"The topic never arose" Loki said with a dismissive wave of his hand " Conversations was not something we shared in abundance. I have attempted to feed Hela what you provide for my meals, but she denies it, as any sensible person would"

"If you have any guesses what she might accept we can see what we can get you" Coulson said, ignoring the slight to SHIELDS culinary abilities.

"I would require animal blood, mixed with flour and thick milk, the fresher the better" Loki started, running through different alternatives in his head "Fruit, preferably sweet ones. Uncooked meat. Perhaps a live goat"

Agent Coulson looked up from his paper "Do you really need a live goat?"

"No" Loki confessed with a smile "I was simply curious to see if you would make the effort to find one"

"Mr. Laufeyson, please keep in mind that you've cost the taxpayers of this nation billions in property damage. Keep your requests sensible"

"In the old days you humans would line up for a chance to offer up livestock to my kind" Loki sighed. "Funny how a couple of thousand years changes things"

"Mr Laufeyson, can I ask you something?"

"I believe you already did, but go on" Loki was actually curious, Agent Coulson did actually look like he was a bit bothered, and frankly the trickster was bored.

"When you came to New York, did you really think the humans would just submit to you?" Coulson asked with a serious expression.

"Perhaps not without a fight, which is why I did bring an army" Loki said slowly "But yes, in time."

"Why?"

"Most other realms are at peace with themselves, but you kill and squabble daily to an extent I have not seen in any other species. You do not seem very able to govern yourself, nor as strong as your fierce ancestors. In the end I accept that I made the same miscalculation as the Asgardians often made about me"

"And what is that?"

"I measured your strength in muscle mass instead of wit. And" he admitted with a wry smile "I did not take the Hulk into´proper consideration"

"Yeah, that did you no favors" Agent Coulson smiled back.

"Nor the Chitari" Loki answered and Coulson actually laughed, short and quietly, but it was a laugh.

"Will there be anything else then?" the agent asked while standing up from his chair.

"Pine needles, bark from a hundred year old tree and sphagnum. Before you ask, yes, I intent to attempt to feed that to my daughter"

Coulson took some quick notes. "I've heard it's impolite to ask a tree it's age so we'll see about that, but we should be able to get the rest"

"Thank you, agent"

Coulson gave a polite smile as a reply and left.

* * *

><p>Loki still held some hope that the humans were as clueless as he had assumed them to be. Alas, they were not. He received everything he asked for except the bark, but the guards would only let him have one of the things in his cell at the time. Loki did not comment on this, nor did the guards, but with a prick of annoyance he realized that Agent Coulson had probably figured out what theory he was really testing; if it would be possible for him to get his hands on spell components without SHIELD realizing what they where providing him with.<p>

On the bright side, Hela really enjoyed the mixture of blood and milk, as well as the pine needles and fruit once they had been mashed up for her. She even attempted to hold her own plastic spoon, which filled Loki with more pride than was reasonable for such a simple action.

* * *

><p>On his way back from yet another feast celebrating the asgardians latest heroic victory in Vanaheim Thor took a shortcut that led him right to the royal stables. After a moments hesitation, he slipped inside as discretely as his huge frame could manage. When he had made sure no stable hands were nearby he made his way to the large box where Sleipnir stood. The eight-legged beast was not easily kept in place and he could come and go as he pleased, but he usually returned to his box during the nights. As Thor closed in on him he turned his massive head and curiously regarded Thor with deep-green eyes.<p>

"Eh, good evening, Sleipnir" Thor greeted, feeling very awkward and exposed under the strangely familiar gaze "How...are you?"

The big horse simply responded with an annoyed snort and a toss of his long raven-coloured mane. Thor wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but he had come this far, and he needed to know.

"Sleipnir, can you understand me?" he asked almost timidly.

The beast regarded him with intelligent eyes for a moment before slowly nodding his head, only once.

"All your life?"

Another slow nod in reply.

"Does the Allfather know?"

Again, a nod. Sharper this time.

"And does he ever speak to you?"

Sleipnir neighed in a way that sounded like the horse-version of a sarcastic laugh and shook his big head.

"But Loki did"

Sleipnir let out a sharp burst of air through his nose and averted his eyes, irritably scraping the ground with one of his plate-sized hooves.

"He did. He came here and told you stories, and read to you. I caught him a couple of times" Thor continued and the animal went still for a while before softly nodding his head, several times this time.

"Do you know what happened to him, where he is, what he did?"

Sleipnir snorted and nodded his head, his eyes suddenly hard.

"Are you angry with him?"

The beast neighed loudly and reared up. His hooves came dangerously close to Thors face before Sleipnir slammed them back down, hard.

"Me as well" Thor said, and put a hand on the beasts grey-shimmering flank. After a moments hesitation, Sleipnir leaned into the thunderers touch, gently butting the god with his head.

"Do you miss him though?" Thor asked softly and Sleipnir nodded solemnly "Me as well, nephew. For all his faults, I miss him dearly"

* * *

><p><strong>Authors note<strong>: Hey, look at that! Finally some more monster-kids and Hawkeye, who's a couple of chapters late but oh well! For once I don't actually have a finished chapter laying around after this one, so I don't know what comes next. But Thor really should go see Loki, right?


	10. Chapter 10

Thors arrival came so fast that Loki had no time to get scared for Hela or himself. The god of thunder burst into the laboratory where Loki and Stark had just been trading clever insults and blurted:

"Were you aware that Sleipnir understood speech all this time?"

"What in the name of the nine realms has granted you this astonishing wisdom?" Loki answered with mocking surprise and jumped to his feet

"I had of cause no idea that my eldest was capable of such things, since I did not teach him, nor repeatedly tried to educate my blundering idiot of a brother on the matter for HALF A MILLENNIUM!"

Loki banged his chained wrists into the nearest desk, causing a small avalanche of papers to fall down on the floor.

"Um, hi Thor" Stark greeted with a limp wave, where he was casually seated by a cluttered desk "Nice… shoulder curtains, as usual"

"If Sleipnir has been capable to communicate all this time, why has he not made it known?" Thor asked with genuine confusion.

"Mayhaps because no one would take the time to listen" Loki hissed "Of cause you…"

"Who or what is a Sleipnir?" Stark asked, interrupting the brothers.

"My son" "A steed" the asgardians answered in unison.

"Perhaps he never talked because his voice was a little horse?" Stark offered with a wide smile.

"Is there not a wormhole close by which you could kindly dispose yourself into?" Loki snarled.

"Uncool! Totally uncool." Tony responded, pointing at Loki "You know how I feel about wormholes"

"Then by all means exit the chamber if it seems suddenly too confined" Loki pointed at the door.

"Nuh-huh. My lab!" Stark said and crossed his arms over his chest "You guys leave!"

"I am not exactly free to wander the premises, you overgrown child!" Loki gestured to a chain that secured him to a bolted down steel table "Simply leave!"

"Hey, you don't get to order me around!" Tony concluded "You're a lot of things mommy, but you're not mine!"

Loki was just about to reply when Thor softly said "I have a message from mother"

The fight went right out of Loki, and without turning back to face Thor he asked: "How is she?"

"Tired" his brother answered "Otherwise well"

"Has she sent you to tell me how very proud I have made her?" Loki smiled joylessly at Thor, his green eyes hard again.

"Ok, if you guys are going to get all brotherly-touchy-mushy I'm going to plop in my iPod because I just don't do that kind of thing" Stark announced and pushed one plug into each ear "I have an image to uphold here"

When a noise that neither of the aesir though even seemed similar to music started seeping out from Starks headphones Loki turned to face Thor.

"What news do you bring me, brother? Has those talentless Norns appointed my daughter as the one that will end Friggas life?"

"She misses you, Loki" Thor replied "And she asked me to tell you to try to be as perceptive of yourself as you are of others, while you are here"

"Ha! Wise council coming from the woman who posed as my mother for my entire life" Loki laughed joylessly "Obviously I am not as perceptive as either of us though!"

"Then perhaps you can learn a lesson in humility" Thor said sharply.

"Yes, after all your long weekend here on Midgard worked wonders for you" Loki smiled "You returned with a spring in your step and such luster in you hair, to the delight of everyone!"

"Yes, did I ever thank you for that?" Thor replied and mirrored his brothers insincere smile "Had you not plotted against me I would never have grown into the man I am today, and I would never have known the company of Jane or my friends here on earth"

"Oh, you are so very welcome" Loki said with mocked joy "I am so happy things are FINALLY going your way!"

"Probably because I do not attempt to sabotage myself at every given opportunity" Thor retorted "If you could just stop trying to take revenge for all imagined slights…"

"Like when I begged you to help me keep my child safe, and you instead initiated a hunt for him with your friends for sport?" Loki replied in a dangerously low voice "Imagined slights like that, brother?"

Thor sighted and uncrossed his arms. He leaned back on a desk that complained loudly under his weight.

"I did not come here to fight with you, Loki"

"How unlucky, since fighting is the one thing we do well as siblings" Loki replied with a shrug.

After a moments silence Loki rubbed his face with his hands and took a deep breath.

"Tell Frigga I appreciate her concern for me" he said, and then after a moments hesitation "Is he well?"

"Father? He's…"

"No, you dimwit" Loki snapped.

"Sleipnir does well" Thor replied after a moments silence "I asked him if he was content, and he is."

"He was never the most ambitious child, and he has his father's temper" Loki mused "But he his clever."

"Very much so"

"They were all clever" Loki said softly, avoiding his brothers eyes.

"That's probably why they got away" Agent Coulson smiled from the doorway "Mr. Laufeyson, Mr Odinson, would you follow me please?"

Loki gritted his teeth as he was led out of the room. What had the human now managed to piece together? .

* * *

><p>They ended up in a meeting-room so small that Thor seemed to take up the major part of the floor-space. Loki was offered a leather armchair that was a blessing for his back. Since the start of his captivity he had only rested on the hard bed and harder steel chairs that SHIELD seemed to treasure since they existed in abundance on the carrier. Thor filled up an entire matching two-seat sofa and Agent Coulson remained standing with his back against the door. Idly Loki noted that no one had moved to chain him to something, probably because they perceived him as less of a threat with Thor so close by. It annoyed him.<p>

"Would the two of you like some time alone, to talk?" the agent asked and Loki shook his head before Thor could answer.

"I would consider that a cruel and unusual punishment" he said, leaning back in the chair.

"I came to make amends, Loki" Thor started "To say that I am sorry for never..:"

"And I will hear none of it. Your regret means nothing to me" Loki spat "What you have done can not be undone with empty words. I would much rather discuss what the agent thinks he knows about my other children"

"It's not so much what I know about them as it is what I know about you" Agent Coulson smiled and sat down in the remaining armchair, placing a oceanic map on the small table between them.

"Everyone seems to offer such insight about me this day" Loki muttered as he glanced over the map.

"Do you claim that the others escaped?" Thor asked, understanding nothing of the blue map of unfamiliar waters "The sea serpent was cast out, this is true, but the wolf remains chained in Asgard"

"No, he doesn't" Agent Coulson plainly stated looking at Loki who made to attempt to confirm or deny the information.

"If it had been freed, all of Asgard would have known" Thor protested.

"Maybe, but Fenris was never caught" Coulson continued, leaning forward in his chair, inviting Loki to continue with a gesture of his hand.

"Loki?" Thor looked at his brother.

"How do you assume to know this, Agent Coulson?" Loki said darkly, his green eyes fixed on the agent, unblinking "What makes you more capable to unmask such a deceit than the aesir who are more advanced than your race and who have had a considerably larger amount of time to see through it?"

"We're a data-driven organization" the plain-looking human responded easily "We accumulate data, analyze it and take the most reasonable action based on what we know. We're also pretty good at psych-evals. The data we've gathered on this subject is based on old mythology, hunter stories and watching you. That last part is the big piece of the puzzle"

"Wit" Loki smiled with malice.

"That would be the short version, Mr Laufeyson" Agent Coulson nodded "With that 'wit' we have simply come to the conclusion that if a child of yours would be held captive under horrible circumstances, you would not be sitting here. You would still be fighting for him"

"Agent Coulson, had my wrists been free I would have applauded you" Loki replied, his smile growing wider and colder.

"But the wolf is there!" Thor protested "I… I helped chain it there myself. It took Tyrs hand in the process"

"I'm certain there is a wolf, Mr Odinson, but it's not the right one"

"The wolf is a giant, Son of Cole! It dwarves horses and bears in comparison. There is no mistaking it for another"

"Unless" Loki turned to his brother with a dangerous look in his eyes "Unless there was someone who with an extraordinary talent for magic that could alter the appearance of creatures and who was sly enough to trick all of the Aesir into chasing after the wrong one. Perhaps by setting a brother on a false trail with a desperate plea for help he knew would be ignored"

Thor started at his brother, eyes wide in shock. Still, he felt a small sense of relief that he had not played a part in capturing Fenris after all.

"Who is the one chained then?" he asked.

"Oh, when we speak of my child you call him 'it', when it is a creature of unknown origin you refer to it as 'who'" Loki snarled "If you must know, she is the wolf who gave Fenris milk when he was new to the world. When I searched for something to take Fenris place she offered herself up as bait. Her appearance was changed to mirror Fenris and you all fell for the trick. I did not know what you intended to do with her once caught though, but there was no way of freeing her without setting you back on my sons trail and I cherish him more than I reget her suffering"

"Even if what you say is true, we would have known by now" Thor continued his line of protests "No matter how talented you are there is no way for you to maintain such a spell from Midgard"

"I never said I cast the spell, brother" Loki said softly.

"Then who…" Thor cut himself off when he realized the obvious "Mother"

"Now you know how it feels" Loki smiled and placed his cuffed hands on Thors arm "When mother lies to you"

To Lokis great surprise Thor placed his own massive hand on top of his brothers and smiled at him.

"At least mothers love and trickery joins us" he said as Loki snatched his hand back as if the genuine warmth in his brothers voice had burned him "I am glad Fenris fate was not as cruel as the scheme I played an unknowing part in"

"Your cruelty against me is the same, even if the end result is not what you assumed it to be" Loki snarled.

"Indeed, it is" Thor replied "But at least I will not have to try to rectify it by releasing a giant wolf upon Asgard, as I had planned"

"I am genuinely surprised, brother" Loki admitted, wide-eyed "Not only did you intend to go against Odin, but you PLANNED something?"

"I am the one of us slow of wit" Thor smiled "But which one of us intelligently planned himself all the way into midgardian chains?"

Just as Agent Coulson prepared to interject himself between the two siblings to avoid a fist fight Loki actually laughed. A small, self-ironic dry laugh but still.

"Where you really going to attempt to free Fenris, brother?" he asked and Thor nodded "Who swayed your mind?"

"Sleipnir" Thor admitted "And Hela. They do not appear to be monsters. Perhaps Fenris is, but he must be given a chance to prove himself before he is punished for misdeeds not yet committed. Loki, Father was wrong to judge them so. I am sorry I have been to foolish not to see it before now"

For half a second it looked like Loki might actually shed tears, but then he composed himself and answered in a thick voice "That was quite an accomplishment by my son, considering he can not speak a word in any of our languages. What did he do?"

"He was quick to forgive my stupidity" Thor said "At least in part"

"Forgiveness is in his nature as it never was in mine" Loki sighed "I was never a good mother to him in the early years when he needed me. I was too young, too proud to endure the ridicule. He forgave me for that. How angry he must be with me now"

"He is" Thor admitted "But he misses you as well. And I think he understands why you desired the throne of Asgard so much"

"Oh, because now when he has finally conversed with you he must see how my need to outshine you…" Loki started but Thor interrupted him

"He understands that if you are king, there is no one to cast your children out"

Loki was speechless. Thor had never seen him speechless before in their long lives. Agent Coulson took the moment to clear his throat, reminding the brothers that he was still in the room.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like some privacy?" he asked, but now both brothers shook their head in striking similar manners.

"I think what needed to be said has been said" Loki replied quietly "Am I to understand brother that if I speak to Agent Coulson about what this map means you will not attempt to murder the child that can be found using it?"

"If he does not pose a threat, no harm shall come to him by my hand" Thor replied.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure he can be considered a threat" Agent Coulson smiled "But so far it seems like he's been pretty docile for the better part of 2000 years, so we shouldn't be hasty"

"So where is Fenris?" Thor said and leaned over the map, while Loki rolled his eyes at his brothers stupidity.

"We assume he's somewhere on earth" Agent Coulson said and received a small nod by Loki as a reply "...since this is where his brother is, and his brother seems easier to find"

Thors face visibly paled.

"You mean…"

"It is an oceanic map, brother"

"We're not going for the giant wolf, mr. Odinson, we're going for the gigantic snake" Agent Coulson smiled and seemed genuinely excited.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors note<strong>: Heck that was a long one, but maybe that's alright when it took me awhile to update this time!


	11. Chapter 11

Loki didn't actually know where on Midgard his remaining children might be. When he came back to earth with the intention of conquering it there hadn't been any time to search for his lost sons. He'd hoped to have time to look for them when the attack on New York was over, but things hadn't really turned out as he planned. Some things where certain though. They were both in the north. Lokis children had always preferred the cold to any form of heat and Loki had left Fenris in the wolf-rich forests of Scandinavia, where he hoped he would be less lonley and able to fend for himself. He didn't know where Jörmungandr had fallen when he was cast out of Asgard, but he would have swam to colder waters.

"You are certain he is alive?" Loki asked Agent Coulson as they were seated unusually close together going over gps footage of the atlantic ocean.

"Since your brother fell out of the sky and we realized that all those stories about the old gods were at least somewhat accurate we started researching exactly how much of the legends were true" Agent Coulson explained while reaching across Lokis chained wrists to fetch another printed map "Especially the ones about giant creatures being left on earth. When we started looking for new data, we found an interesting anomaly in the waters of the Atlantic ocean"

Agent Coulson pointed to a dark streak on the already dark blue map.

"This is a cold current, it's temperature is significantly lower than the waters around it, but the way it moves defies every law of physic that we know of" the agent sat back and watched Loki trace the outline of the dark spot with his fingers "I know it's not big enough to wrap around the entire world, but what do you think?"

"It is him" Loki said quietly "It been a very long time, but I know my son. He has grown" he added, with a smile.

"Since we haven't had any reports of giant sea creatures attacking shores or ships in a couple of hundred years, and even then people mostly talked about giant squids, we assume he's not actively hostile" Agent Coulson stated while reading something of a tablet "However, there is no telling if engaging with him might make him violent."

"Jörmungandr was a curious child, and a stubborn one, but he has never been violent" Loki replied harshly "If you simply let me speak to him…"

"That's not going to happen, mr Laufeyson" Coulson interrupted.

"Of cause not" Loki snarled "Why would you give me access to a potentially dangerous giant sea serpent over which I may or may not have command. That would be beyond foolish"

"I'm glad we see eye to eye" the agent smiled.

"What confounds me is why you are going through this trouble, if it is not to engage my son or kill him" Loki continued, his green eyes piercing as they held Coulsons blue "What is it you hope to achieve, agent? Dominans over my son? Him dead at your feet? I can tell you such a venture is doomed to failure. You can not harm him"

"We probably can, but it's not our intention" the agent clasped his hands as we continued "We simply want to collect data, we want to know. Is Jörmungandr real, how big is he, is he a potential threat, or a potential asset? And" he finished "I thought you might want to know he's alive"

"So you are simply showing me this to be kind?" Lokis voice was drenched in sarcasm.

"No, as I said, we're doing it to collect vital data. I'm telling you because you can contribute to the accumulation of the desired information" The agent looked Loki over before he added "So maybe about 3% off the entire thing is out of some sort of kindness. It must have been horrible, not to know if they were alive or not. You seem to care a lot about Hela"

"Why would you be kind to me?" Loki asked, ignoring Coulsons statement "I killed you"

"That's disputable" the agent smiled "And I don't see what I have to gain by being unkind to you. I can, and I will, if I have to. But you seem to respond better to reasoning than threats, and there's really no need for me to be uncivil just because you stabbed me that one time and left me to die. However never assume this means I have forgotten the lives lost at your hands, Mr. Laufeyson"

For a brief second something changed in Agent Coulsons eyes and behind the ordinary face Loki saw something very dangerous, the shadow of something fearless. It disappeared in an instant, and was replaced by the agents usual, neutral smile. Loki suddenly realized why they had been sitting so close together during this meeting, even after Thor had left the room. It was a power display. Agent Coulson had probably realized where the conversation was going and wanted to make a point of not being scared of his prisoner, even without the aid of the thunder god or his usual crew of heavily armed guards.

"What are you going to do with Jörmungandr?" Loki asked again "Assuming you find him?"

"He's quite easy to track actually, now that we know what to look for" Agent Coulson replied and stood up, straightening his suit "When we find him, we're going to say 'hi', and then see how that plays out"

* * *

><p>It played out about as well as you would expect for when an enormous government organization tries to find some common conversational ground with a thousand years old mythological creature that seemed not to be able to speak. SHIELD agents got Jörmungandrs attention by projecting the sound of his name into the water together with some blinking lights.<p>

Loki had neglected to tell the agents about his sons old habit of putting everything into his mouth, which resulted in SHIELD losing two unmanned light rigs down the giant serpents belly before they realized just projecting the light into the water from the air might be preferable to actually lowering things into the ocean.

When the serpent rose out of the water it was a magnificent sight. Against the backdrop of a star littered sky the enormous head ascended from the black waters, his skin a gleaming silver with raven black spots tracing intricate patterns along the impossibly large body. The intelligent eyes were as large as the helicopters spotlights and they almost seemed to shine with a pale, green light.

The unmanned SHIELD helicopters projected a light display on the glacier they had been leading Jörmungandr towards. From Loki they had learned that the serpent could read, but no one had been very interested in relying on the trickster to prepare the message for the mission. In the best futhark their linguistics team could master they spelled out a short message on repeat. They knew who he was. They meant no harm. He was safe in this realm.

After a very long couple of minutes the serpent turned its attention from the projected letters and to the helicopters that buzzed around him at a proper distance. It's massive, flat head curiously investigated the machines without getting too close. After a while, it disappeared back into the deep.

It was considered a successful mission.

* * *

><p>Agent Coulson had allowed Loki to watch a two minute video of when Jörmungandr rose from the deeps. He sat with Hela in his lap and saw the face of his second born son for the first time in almost a thousand years on a small tablet display. When the camera panned over his gigantic silver body and focused on his face Hela placed a small hand on the screen, effectively pausing the video.<p>

"That is your older brother" Loki said softly, staring the video again "Look at those eyes. There are no mistaking that you are kin"

He smiled warmly at Hela when she looked up at him, and even extended the smile to Agent Coulson that had silently placed himself by the door. The agent returned it with one of his own rarely seen genuine ones, which Loki credited to Agent Coulson probably feeling very happy with the outcome of his little operation. He watched the video twice before returning the tablet to the agent before he could ask for it.

* * *

><p>Since the search for Jörmungandr had begun SHIELD had seen very little of Thor, who was still not very enthusiastic about being around the organisation that had tried and found the giant creature prophesied to end his life. Most of the other Avengers were out on other missions, so time went by rather peacefully. Weeks turned to months and Hela grew.<p>

Even though Loki was a mother of four, he never really knew what to expect from his children and their development. All of them seemed to find different ways to worry and surprise him. With Hela, he worried about a great deal of things. She hardly made any sound or showed any interest in the world around her. At her age a human child, or any child for that matter, would have started to attempt to communicate with the world around them. Hela didn't try to imitate speech and she seldom smiled or cried.

Loki was used to his children not being able to talk, but he had hoped Hela might be different. She had the genetic setup for being able to speak the languages of humans and aesir alike. Instead she was different in the sense that she did not attempt to communicate at all. Sometimes she would reach out for things, or make small sounds that sounded like she attempted to imitate the ringing of small bells, something she'd probably never heard in her life, but that was it. She would play with things within her reach but she made no attempts to explore.

Loki allowed a couple of test to confirm she was not deaf or had any trouble seeing. As far as the human doctors could see, everything was fine, which is why nothing really prepared Loki for the night Hela died.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note<strong>: I did an evil-cliffhanger thing. Sorry!


	12. Chapter 12

It was one of those rare nights where Loki actually slept, exhausted after a day trying of to make sense of midgardian science while dussins of SHEILD agents buzzed around him with endless questions. After a couple of hours sleep he abruptly woke up to the missing sound of Helas breathing at his side. When he turned to look down at her in the dim light of his cell her green eyes were blindly staring back at him and her body was cold even to the touch of an ice-giant. No breathing. No life.

A part of Loki wanted to scream, shout for anyone who might help, offer his life in return for hers, but something large and cold inside of him stayed his tongue. It was too late. The color had gone out of Helas mismatched skin, it looked as if someone had sucked it out of her and left only the basic caricature of the life it had once had. No one could help her, and if people came, they would take her from him. They would cut her up, study her, and he would never see her face again.

Silently he gathered her up in his arms, pulled the blankets around them both and sat with his back against the cold metal wall of his cell cradling the suddenly much heavier body of his daughter. With his fingers, he brushed out her raven hair, that had as usual grown impossibly long during the night. Streaks of grey and white had appeared, like as if she had grown old in hours. He could not bear to close her eyes, though he knew he should.

"Did I ever tell you about you father?" he whispered barely audible to Hela, thinking of all the things would never get a chance to tell her "She was magnificent. She snuck into Asgard using the unknown pathways not even Heimdall could see. That is how we would meet, in the dark, trading secrets known only to those born with magic. Her hair was blond, almost white in the moonlight. Oh, she was so clever. Twice they burned her, and twice she cheated even death."

Loki didn't realize he was weeping until the tears fell on to Helas face. Gently, he wiped them off her small face, which was now so cold that the water almost froze on her cheeks. Loki had never seen dead ice-giants, perhaps this is what happened to them. Perhaps this is how he would look.

"After that they called her Hyrrokkin, it means the burnt one" he continued, rocking gently as he would do when he would put Hela to sleep "But her name was Heid, or at least that is the name she preferred. There was another name before that, it meant the carrier of sorrows, which is why she asked me to carry the seed of you. So that you would not be born by sorrow"

Lokis voice stuck in his throat. Pain like he had never known came crashing down, it left like someone was tearing him apart, mind, body and soul all at once. He couldn't hold on to a thought and he couldn't understand how this pain was not strong enough to kill him. Even if it was purely emotional it felt more real than anything he had never experienced, like suffocating and bleeding out at the same time. He had lost other children, but he had never seen them die.

There was so much he had wanted for her. So much he had hoped for. So much he had been willing to sacrifice. And now there was nothing. Nothing he could fight against, nothing he could trick his way out of, nothing he could do to negotiate her safety. Nothing except his spectacular failure. Hela had died alone, while he slept. Had she tried to cry out, to reach for him, to have him comfort her? Had she been afraid, and in pain, right next to him while he selfishly slept through his daughter's final moments? He had never told her he loved her. She had died without ever hearing those words. She had died in the cage he put them in.

Loki didn't realize he was screaming until other voices mixed with his own and then he didn't care. Over the PA system he heard Agent Coulson asking him to calm down and somewhere in his mind he registered that they hadn't entered the cell yet, that they kept their distance and tried to assess the situation. They were asking him to put Hela down. He would never. He got to his feet. He should attack them. He should let the short, female guard that always seemed to linger at his door in and kill her. Kill as many of them as he could, until they killed him. Thor wasn't around to stop them. They had the weapons. He could make them kill him. Nothing mattered, nothing.

"Fa"

The noise wiped away everything, like a flood sweeping the country side it ripped every thought and emotion from Loki and washed it away. It rang so loud in his ears that all other sounds in the world seemed like whispers. He instantly fell silent and looked down at the little body squeezed tightly in his arms and Helas green eyes blinked back up at him.

"Fa?" she repeated, her voice soft and clear like new fallen snow "Fa?"

"Oh" Loki whispered as the room span and he dropped down on the cold floor "So is that what you are? A trickster and a Hyrrokkin, all in one. We need to change your name"

Then he laughed and Hela smiled with him. He laughed until he cried, and he kept crying until Agent Coulson put a hand on his shoulder and gently asked Loki to come with him to the infirmary.

* * *

><p>Later on Agent Coulson would receive one of Director Furys famous scoldings for breaking basically every SHIELD protocol on high-risk prisoners, but at the time there had been nothing else to do. Loki had been so shook up that there was no making sense of anything he said. Half the time he forgot to speak english and just mumbled in old Norse, laughing and crying at the drop of a hat.<p>

He'd followed Coulson to the infirmary but scared the doctors that tried to take Hela from him so much that one of them quit on the spot. The agent calmly talked Loki into allowing them to at least check Helas heat rate and got him to agree. After a while, when the god of mischief had been relieved of the burden of the child in his arms, Agent Coulson managed to sit him down on a chair next to the tiny bed where machines confirmed that though Helas readings were abnormal, they were stable. The agent sent all remaining staff out of the room, guards included, then stuck a glass of a golden liquid in Lokis hand and ordered him to drink. Loki dropped it to the floor.

"It's not anything to put you under, it's for your nerves" Agent Coulson explained calmly as he poured two new glasses "I'm having one as well, so it's not drugged. Well, it's technically poison, but it's not drugged"

He demonstrated by taking a sip before handing the same glass to Loki, who absentmindedly took a mouthful without flinching. Agent Coulson pulled up a chair opposite to Loki and for a while they watched Hela as her green eyes darted from the blinking lights to the windows and everything else that caught her attention. All the while she was making small, happy noises. When her eyes found Agent Coulson's face she smiled and said "Acoo!", pointing at him.

"Well, aren't you a lively one tonight" Coulson smiled back and then looked up as Loki made a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob "What's an Aco? Is it old norse?"

"I think she is attempting to say Agent Coulson. It's the second word she's ever spoken" Loki smiled, and the agent was genuinely taken aback.

"Oh!" he said, and then turned to Hela with a smile "You can call me Phil, sweetheart, at least until you've learned your consonants"

"Acoo!" Hela protested and Loki laughed weakly.

"Mr. Laufeyson, what happ..?"

"You are strict with names, are you not?" Loki interrupted, taking another mouthful of the brandy.

"'You' as in me personally or 'you' as in 'you midgardians'?" the agent asked and sipped his own drink.

"Both" Loki answered solemnly while reaching out so that Hela could grab his finger. She instantly attempted to put it in her mouth and seemed happy to idly chew on it with her tiny teeth. Loki didn't pull away.

"For both the answer is yes, pretty strict. Why do you ask?"

"When we signed all your documents for staying here, there was a paper about Hela, one you told me was of utmost importance"

"Her birth certificate"

"Something like that. You put down a name for her, can it be changed?"

"Yes, but it's a process, and there needs to be a good reason" Agent Coulson answered while giving some guards who attempted to enter the room a cold stare until they went away.

"What does it say now?" Loki hadn't been paying attention to the ridiculous amount of papers the agents had him sign when he first arrived.

"Hela Lokidottir" the agent answered "We tried to stick with asgardian naming tradition and we didn't know the name of the father"

"She should not be burdened with my name" Loki said silently "It will do her no favors in this realm or others"

"Fair enough" Coulson replied and produced a pen and a notebook from nowhere "What would you like to change it to?"

"Hela Hyrrokkin" Loki answered while watching his daughter's face "It is her fathers name, and it will serve her better in life than mine"

"Fa!" Hela exclaimed and pointed at Loki.

"Actually I am your mother" Loki smiled "But maybe we will need to be flexible in the use of epithets"

"What's fa?"

"_Fadir_" Loki replied "Father in old norse. I thought you claimed to speak it"

"I read futhark, but the pronunciation has been long lost on us" Agent Coulson corrected gently "The vikings didn't care for writing things down as much as we would have liked"

"They were never ones to value the written word" Loki sighed "Much like the aesir, they prefered action to retelling of actions. Can the name be changed?"

"We'll get it done"

"When you say 'we', do you once again mean just you?"

"What happened tonight, Mr. Laufeyson?" Agent Coulson asked abruptly.

"Hela… she… I do not know how. She…" he finished his brandy in one swoop "..died. For a time. I do not know how long. I lost track"

"Based on your reaction I assume it's not a common thing among the aesir?" Coulson continued while getting up to refill Lokis glas.

"No, but her father managed to do it. Twice" Loki took a more careful sip this time "I should have anticipated something like this. She was conceived by someone who was dead but alive again" Loki laughed abruptly "How strange my taste in lovers must seem to others. I never considered it before"

"Maybe a little" Agent Coulson smiled "But to each his own"

"Who or what do you welcome to your bed, Agent?" Loki asked, a bit of his old smirk showing.

"That's classified information" Coulson replied politely "Is Hela going to be safe with you in your cell, because I would love to invite myself to my bed within the hour"

"I do not believe she will be worse of than here. The danger should be gone."

"Good. Then let's try to get some sleep and we'll run some test in the morning" Agent Coulson said and finished his brandy. Loki followed his example before picking Hela up. As they walked down the many halls back to Lokis cell the god noticed a warmth inside of him that he hadn't felt in a while.

"Everything alright, Mr. Laufeyson?" Agent Coulson asked and Loki nodded.

"The trials and the spirits got to me" he replied "It was actually not half bad, your midgardian drink"

"Glad you liked it" the agent smiled as he opened the cell door and locked Loki back in. When the door shut behind him Loki realised they had not bothered to chain him when they had left for the infirmary.

He did not sleep more during the remainder of the night. Instead he nervously watched Helas face as her eyelids became heavy. Before she fell asleep he whispered "_Ek elska þik_" into her ear. He would say it every day from now on.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors note<strong>: Sorry about the mean cliffhanger thingy! So this turned out to be a pretty norse chapter! Heid is pretty awesome and was actually Lokis giant wife, but she had many names. One of them was Angerboda, which loosely translated meant the one who brings sorrow (In contemporary swedish Anger = Ånger/Regret Boda = börda/burden). She was a magician, and an instigator in the first war between giants and aesir. For her crimes the aesir burned her three times, but every time she would come back to life. I only included two times because the third time Loki eats her burnt heart and after that he gives birth to Hela, implying that Heid is reincarnated in her. I thought I made the part of him being the mother of Hela up but NOPE, turns out Norse mythology is weirder than fanfiction.

Also, the reason Hela calls Loki dad rather than mom is because I read a study that most children learn to say versions of "dad" before they learn to say "mom" so I thought it was appropriate!


	13. Chapter 13

For days Loki watched Hela with new found intensity, but nothing seemed to be wrong with her. In fact, she seemed more responsive since her intimate brush with death, as if some part of her had been missing before and she was now whole. The day after she gave Loki the initial scare she surprised the doctors examining her by walking like it was the most natural thing in the world, even though she had never before even attempted to stand up on her own.

Loki never let her out of arm's reach that day and would give anyone who made any comments about his child a stare so dark it was amazing it didn't drain the light from the room. Because of this the doctors did not insist on any further testing, and Loki was left mostly undisturbed with Hela in their cell for several days.

* * *

><p>Now that she was walking around he was reminded on how painfully small it was. It took her minutes to trace her way around the walls and she did it lap after lap, as if walking was a long awaited treat. Loki sat on the floor in the middle of the room and tried to control his feelings, which constantly seemed to shift between worry, anger and unspeakable joy. He needed to focus on something.<p>

"Darling, would you come sit here?" he asked, realizing it was the first time he'd ever asked his child to come to him. Hela happily complied and crawled up on Lokis crossed legs. He shifted her so that her back was against his chest and slowly started to part and braid her long hair. The streaks of grey and white had remained even after the regular colors had returned to her skin.

"If you are going to walk about, we can not have you falling over your hair" he said as she fretted in his lap "This will make it much simpler. There" he said and turned her around to face him "Is that not better?"

Hela investigated the rather messy braid with her small hands before smiling at Loki and enthusiastically clapping.

"Glad you approve" Loki smiled back.

"Fa!" Hela responded and got to her feet, balancing on Lokis thighs with his hands around her waist for support she didn't really need. Hela showed her hands into Lokis hair and he made a face when she tried to brush it with her fingers, like he'd done with hers. Loki silently reminded himself that he might need to start taking better care of his kept forgetting to brush his hair, which had turned it into an unruly dark mess.

"I do not think that will be very effective, child" he said gently and grabbed her hands "You have your fathers fine hair, I am afraid mine is less compliant"

"Fa?" Hela repeated.

"Fadir" Loki sounded out the word for her "And I am your mother. Well, technically."

"A little early to have that talk with her, don't you think?" Stark greeted from the other side of the glass wall "Man, I'm looking forward to when you'll have to explain birds and bees to her. Or in your case, horses and everything else"

"Are you some human hybrid that takes sustenance from nothing but spirits and crude comments?" Loki snarled.

"I know you meant that as an insult, but I know myself and it's kind of true" Stark smiled as he walked up to the glass, and Hela walked over to greet him by placing a small hand of the glass. Stark matched her movement and placed his much bigger hand on the other side (instantly followed by a guard politely yelling "Sir, step away from the glass please!").

"Hi there little banana skid, how are you feeling?" he asked her, as Loki quickly moved to sweep her up in his arms.

"What did you call her?" he hissed, as Hela wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Banana skid? It's a type of candy that had two colors. It's awesome. I'll see if SHIELD will allow me to get you some!" Stark answered while starting to type away on his phone.

"Her name is Hela and you will refer to her by it" Loki spat.

"He-ha!" Hela agreed.

"You know what, I just realized I might have been blinded by my one-color privilege here" Stark continued, spreading his arms "I wouldn't go around referring to Fury as a chocolate bunny, so maybe I was being racially insensitive. Sorry about that, I meant no offense"

"That would be a first"

"Oh, don't get me wrong, I'll offend you every chance I get" Stark smiled "But never the kid. Unless she starts it" She winked at Hela who smiled back and then quickly hid her head in Lokis hair.

"What is your business here Stark?" Loki asked sharply "What inane task do you wish me to perform? Or did you simply come to exchange pleasantries?"

"Actually, kind of the latter" Stark admitted, his voice suddenly much more serious "I came by to see how Hela was holding up. I heard about last night"

"Why would you care?" Loki held Hela tighter and took a step back from the glass.

"Because I do" Stark shrugged "She's a pretty sweet kid, which is kind of a miracle considering you're her mom"

"She seems well. More energetic than before" Loki answered cautiously "The danger, if there was one, seems to have passed"

"Good!" Stark smiled "Bet there's only smooth sailing from here on out!"

"You're mocking me"

"Only a little. After all, you're a single mom in an above-high-security prison serving a century long sentence while trying to raise a kid without any parenting-blogs to help you. I'm pretty sure that's going to suck."

"The alternative would have been worse" Loki answered honestly, reassuringly stroking Helas back "I am grateful for this chance"

"Ok, I just wanted to check up on you, and you kind of bum me out when you're not being all snarky and hostile" Stark answered light-heartedly and casually waved at the girl in Lokis arms "Bye bye Hela!"

"Bye bye" the little girl answered in her tiny, hushed voice. Loki wondered just how verbal she actually was. She'd said more new words in less than 24 hours than she had done in her entire life. He might need to start watching his language around Stark.

* * *

><p>Agent Coulson came by to inform Loki that Thor had been spotted on earth and that SHIELD had decided not to say anything about Helas "accident" to the thunderer should he come by. If Loki wished to tell his brother that was up to him, but the organization had made a risk assessment and didn't think it was worth the extra time it might take to talk Thor down from any asgardian superstition he might have about children who died and came back to life.<p>

Loki was so grateful he almost didn't say anything insulting during the entire conversation, however the agent was wearing such a ridiculous tie that he almost brought the snide comment on himself.

* * *

><p>After a couple of weeks, Loki started to relax. Hela showed no signs of regression. She was still a silent and calm child by human standards, but compared to show passive she had been before the "accident" she was a bundle of sparkling energy. She picked up words at an alarming pace, even if she had a hard time pronouncing them and separating between English and Norse. She played with things, she called for attention when she was bored and she smiled a whole lot, mostly at Loki.<p>

Hela slept several hours during the day and all through the artificial nights, which was more than the average human child and definitely more than any aesir, but she always seemed peaceful. Slowly, Loki stopped worrying every conscious moment. After another couple of days, he even allowed himself to start sleeping again.

* * *

><p>Loki had not seen much of the avengers, so when he was called to consult on a case off base, which was the first time he'd left the Carrier in almost a year, he was unpleasantly surprised upon finding Hawkeye waiting by the helicopter that would bring them down to the cold snowy landscape below. Since the mission wasn't considered to be dangerous Agent Coulson had allowed Loki to bring Hela with him for some fresh air, something Loki now cursed the agent for.<p>

"I thought this mission was not concerning enough not to be bringing a small child along" Loki snapped at Agent Hill, since Coulson was not there "So why is the archer present?"

"Even if the mission isn't dangerous, you are" Hawkeye replied coldly "So if you decide to take things south, someone needs to put you in your place"

"Your personal experience with that is not overwhelming" Loki snarked with a crooked smile.

"Just try me" Hawkeye muttered while fingering his bow "I'd love to see just how well my arrow fits through your skull"

Hela made a whimpering sound where she hid behind Lokis legs and he quickly swept her up in his arms .

"Could you keep the death threats less graphic in front on my child?" he snarled while reassuringly petting Helas back. When she looked up at Loki he saw a faint hint of fear in her eyes. He tried to wipe it out with a warm smile of his own.

"You know what, darling?" he murmured to her "I think this will be a very boring trip. You should stay here with Agent Hill and read instead. Will that not be exciting?"

"Mr. Laufeyson, I really don't have time to…" Hill started but Loki interrupted her.

"She is not coming with us. Not with him."

"Barton is a good agent, he wouldn't..." agent Hill started but was once again interrupted, but this time by Barton.

"Actually, I just might" Hawkeye said plainly "I told Agent Coulson this was a really bad idea, but he didn't agree"

Loki didn't bother arguing about canceling the mission, SHEILD would never budge. Instead he showed Hela into Hills arms rather briskly. A child less calm than Hela would probably have cried, but she just looked a bit confused by the unfamiliar arms.

"I shall be back shortly, daughter" Loki assured her "You will hardly have time to take note of my absence"

"Fa! Fa!" Hela protested and reached for him.

"Not this time, Hela" Loki said softly and placed a kiss on the top of her head "This time you will have to stay"

Before Hela could fully grasp what was going on and start crying, Loki quickly walked to the helicopter and allowed himself to be chained to his seat. Hawkeye gave Hill a final stare to let her know how un-pleased he was with this before disappearing inside the vechicle, otherther with six other guards and a pilot. When the helicopter took off Hela pointed to it said

"Mama! Bye bye!"

* * *

><p>After a rather uneventful investigation of a huge rune-covered rock that Loki could quickly assert was not aesir at all, but in fact a rather crude story about two brothers bedding the same woman, they got back on the helicopter just in time to be hit by the magnetic storm created by Magneto half a continent away.<p>

As all instruments went dead the they was thrown of course and the metal in the rotor blade bent in a strange direction due to the magnetic pull, causing the helicopter to rather violently crash miles away from it's previous location. Only two people got out of the wreckage.

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><p><strong>Authors Note<strong>: Sorry, I did it again but this chapter needed some action and build up for the next one (and it's pretty obvious who the two are considering everyone else where nameless SHIELD agents)


	14. Chapter 14

Authors Note: This chapter has some light blood and gore,

* * *

><p>After the hellish sounds of metal screaming as it tore itself apart against the trees and the frozen ground the helicopter smashed into during it's decent the silence that followed seemed to cover the world like a blanket of fresh fallen snow. During the descent several of the guards had been thrown out, but Lokis chains had kept him inside the vehicle, which as arguably the worst place to be, if you were human.<p>

After the crash the first thing Loki saw when he blinked his eyes against the smoke that had replaced the harsh winds of falling was a mess of limbs inside what remained of the helicopter. When Loki realized there was an uneven amount of arms and legs left inside the vehicle he was very thankful for his durable asgardian bones. He had never before seen bodies so broken as these. For a moment he almost pitied the humans. They lived such short lives, it was a shame they should come to such brutal ends. A quick head count told him that two guards were gone, and the pilot was still in his seat but her head was turned in an impossible angle. That left four guards and Hawkeye unaccounted for. He vaguely remembered the archer telling people to jump, but it had been hard to hear over the carnage.

After making sure he was only bruised, with nothing broken, Loki inspected his chains. They didn't seem to have taken any damage from the crash, but the railing that they were secured to had been bent and almost torn loose. Had it broke Loki would probably had been impaled by it. For half a second Lokis brain acknowledged the flames that started to eat away at the remains of the helicopter and he felt a sting of panic. He quickly fought it down and started looking around for any long object. In the end, he got a hold of one of Starks Loki-poker batons that some of the guards had been carrying and used it as a lever to bend the metal bar enough to free himself.

He tumbled backwards out of the helicopter and felt the familiar and comforting touch of snow against the side of his face as he hit the ground. Ungracefully he started to crawl away from the wreckage, and when he was satisfied with the distance he allowed himself to rest a while and take some deep breaths of cold air, slightly tainted by the heat of the roaring flames and the sweet stench of human flesh roasting in it.

He rolled over on his back and watched the sky idly for a while. Darkness was about to settle in, they must be very far north because the daylight seemed to whisk itself away at an alarming speed, or maybe the sky just looked darker against the burning branches of some surrounding pine trees that still stood tall. In one of them Loki spotted two other guards, lifelessly dangling high up from the ground.

"They are going to assume this is my doing" he realized, almost solemnly as he fingered the power-dampening collar that was still secure around his neck "They will think I planned it since I did want to take Hela with me. That all this was a well organized trick on my part, that I would know throwing myself at the earth in a burning metal cage would only bruise me"

He felt almost drunk. His thoughts were sluggish and unusually well-tempered. After a while, he sat up slowly, his body starting to play catch-up with all the bruises and aches that the adrenaline rush had covered up. He shouldn't leave the crash site, they might believe he was running, but he had to look for the remaining two guards. If they had survived, they could vouch for Loki and tell SHIELD that he had played no part in the accident. It would look good and appearance might be important if he ever wanted to see Hela again.

To his great disappointment he found both of the other guards dead in the snow not far from the crash site, and to his perhaps even greater disappointment he found Hawkeye alive.

The archer had jumped out of the helicopter as it went down and landed pretty badly by the looks of it. The shin on his left leg had broken through the flesh at the knee and now stabbed up at the sky as a bloody spear angry at the heavens.

As Loki moved closer the wind picked up and turned into a blistering roar that flung sharp snow through the air. Cold had never bothered him much but the wind was annoying when he was already wobbly on his feet. When he came closer he noticed the pool of blood underneath the arches torso. Something must have pierced him in the back as well when he landed. Loki took a moment to relish in the irony considering Hawkeyes threat earlier that day, before he walked over to the archer.

* * *

><p>Clint was no stranger to pain. A life in SHIELD, not to mention on the streets, will grant you a certain amount of durability. Pain was ok, he could usually master it. The fear was something entirely different. Clint would never call himself a brave man, a stupid one, a loyal one and occasionally a honest one, sure, but he'd learned early on that he was no Captain America. When the metal screeched and the smell of gasoline had started to fill the helicopter it hit a little too close to home. Memories from a car crash in his childhood got the best of him and he jumped, like an idiot, without taking proper aim on a tree to land in. The master archer, probably the best on the world, forgot to aim. Natasha would have laughed. It was so stupid.<p>

He focused on the pain. Tried to asses how badly hurt he was without moving. His leg was insanely broken, he felt the wind on nerves that should be shielded by layers of flesh. He had trouble breathing and something was definitely wrong below his left shoulder blade. He didn't really was to think about how sticky his back felt. And it was so goddamned cold.

As the thin figure appeared as an unwelcome silhouette against the darkening sky Hawkeye realized the severity of his injuries didn't really matter. He was going to die.

* * *

><p>"Of cause you fucking made it" Clint attempted to say, but the only thing that came out was a blood-stained cough.<p>

"I am pleased to see you alive as well" Lokis voice dripped with poisonous sarcasm.

As the god of chaos sank to his knees in the blood soaked snow next to Hawkeyes waist he leaned his head back and waited for whatever way Loki would use to kill him. Strangeling felt like Loki. Up close and intimate, without being messy. He didn't expect to get slapped in the face. Confused and a little humiliated he started at Loki who stared back, his sharp green eyes almost luminescent in his pale, frost-stained face.

"Do not sleep" Loki commanded sharply. Hawkeye hated that when Loki used that tone of voice something inside of him, something from the time before the invasion of New York, instantly wanted to obey.

In the fading light Loki quickly examined the broken leg without touching it, discarding it with an irritated snort. He shifted so that he was leaning over Hawkeye, his one hand placed on the other side of the archers head for support while his other made it's way underneath Hawkeyes back.

"Unless you are in shock I imagine this is going to hurt very, very much" Loki said plainly "Try not to faint. It is very unbecoming of a warrior"

The pain when Lokis fingers found it's way to the injury in his back was out of this world. Gingerly Loki parted muscle and flesh and dug into the wound to find the cause of the bleeding. He was actually being as gentle as possible, but to Hawkeye it felt like Loki was trying to pull his spine out. Clint gritted his teeth and made a guttural groan while attempting to move.

"Stop fretting, you are making it more difficult for both of us" Loki ordered "I am almost done"

After an eternity of moments Loki sat back up and wiped his hand on a patch of snow that was not already covered in blood. Hawkeye took a stuttering, weak breath.

"Honestly Barton, you act if I never have been inside of you before" Loki mocked while picking up some more white snow and shoving it in Hawkeyes mouth "Suck on this, it will help with your throat"

"You have managed something quite extraordinary" Loki continued "You seem to have landed on a small, but sturdy tree that took revenge by stabbing you. It is firmly rooted, there is no way of moving you without lifting you off it"

"Not...m-m-moving" Clint managed between frozen lips.

"There is a blizzard coming and we are lack protection from it" Loki snapped, sounding like a stern parent "To me it is but a minor inconvenience, but you humans have a tendency to freeze to death as soon as three snowflakes touches your fragile skin"

Loki got on his feet, placing them on each side of Clints waist and then bent down to wrap what remained of the chains that had secured him to the helicopter around the archers wrists.

"What…" Clint managed but Loki interrupted him.

"Do you want to live, Barton?" his voice was sharp as ice and harsher than the weather around them.

Hawkeye closed his mouth, looked Loki defiantly in the eyes and nodded once.

"Then hold on, sit up, and do not faint" Loki instructed before pulling Clints arms, with the aid of the chains. Clint helped as much as he could with the pain rushing through him. When he felt the stick in his back finally being pulled out, he fainted.

* * *

><p>Loki was tired and annoyed when he finally managed to drag Hawkeye in under the low hanging branches of a massive spruce. Underneath it the ground was covered in pines and moss, but almost no snow. Loki quickly wondered if the snow might be better since he knew it preserved some body temperature and it stayed the blood, but in the end he didn't have the energy to drag the archer any further. Instead he attempted to straighten Hawkeyes leg out as much as possible and tying of the bleeding with a rag from his torn up clothes, before turning the archer over. The likelihood of him bleeding out was far less likely if he was on his stomach. Quickly Loki constructed another compress of moss and several layers of snow.<p>

When all that was done he felt a bit restless. If SHIELD didn't get here soon Hawkeye would freeze to death, despite Lokis best efforts. Darkness had fallen, and through thick snow was still falling from the sky the wind had died down. Hawkeye had not fallen far from the helicopter, and Loki could still see it silently burning between the trees. He remembered the other guards that had died from the fall rather than the crash. Maybe they had clothes that he would pile upon Hawkeye to keep him from dying. If he didn't wish to bring back a part of the flaming helicopter the chances of getting a fire going as very slim. The fact was that Loki had never made a fire in his life without using some magic aid. Or a lighter.

When he walked out into the falling snow in the direction of the falling guards he noticed the ringing in his ears. Up until now he had been too busy to notice that the silence was accompanied with a high pitch noise in his left ear.

"Fantastic" he muttered irritably.

It was probably because of the ringing that he didn't notice the creatures lured there by the scent of blood until they were very close to him. When Loki finally heard the growl he spun around and stood almost eye to eye with a pack of wolves. Only one of them registered in Lokis mind though. It was the obvious leader, a huge beast, too big for any wolfs on Midgard. Even without the size and the raven-colored shaggy fur slightly streaked with grey the eyes would have given it away. Lokis heart stopped when he saw those eyes. So green they were almost luminescent, even in the darkness and snow. His eyes, but more intense. More…

"Fenris?" Loki whispered, choking on his own word "Fenris, is that…"

As he moved half a step forward, the beast growled deep, revealing a sharp set of impossibly large fangs. Loki took a sharp breath as he realized what was different with those familiar eyes, that even Sleipnir shared with his siblings. The wolf had the same eyes, the same distinct color, but there was no intelligence behind them. Loki looked into them and saw only a beast.

And Fenris did not recognize his mother.

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><p><strong>Authors Note<strong>: There are far too few monster kids in my monster kids-fic, hence a wild Fenris appears! Some of you have asked for more ansgt, and that's bound to come soon, as well as more of the monster kids!


	15. Chapter 15

The wolves had been lured to the crash site by the taste of blood in the air, but they were not scavengers when there was live pray about. Especially when that live pray seemed utterly defenseless, which Loki had to admit to being. He had no weapons, no magic to speak of and was severely outnumbered. Even if it had only been regular midgardian wolves he would have succumbed to their combined strength, but with the giant asgardian alpha male advancing on him there was really no chance for him to come out of this alive.

Well. There was one. If he could make it to Hawkeye, the wolves might stop to feast on an easier prey. But with the deep snow tangling itself around his legs he doubted he could make it. There was also always the chance that some wolves would continue pursuing him.

As the wolves circled him, an almost compact mass of sharp teeth and deep growls, Loki only had eyes for Fenris. His son was huge, his eyes almost at height with Lokis, his body heavy with muscle, covered in thick, messy, raven black fur. For his size he moved lightly, his giant paws hardly making any sound as they sank into the snow.

"How you have grown, child" Loki murmured as the wolf stalked closer, the lesser members of the pack hanging back.

The god of mischief almost laughed as he took an unsure step back from Fenris. His smallest child, smaller even than Hela. When he had cut Fenris out of his stomach he had fit into the palm of the gods hand. A small, helpless bundle of dark fur, born blind as most pups, pathetically squeaking at the unfamiliar world he had been cast into. Loki had washed him, bundled him up and stuffed the little package inside his own shirt, to keep him warm and close to his skin. They had slept like that the first night, and almost every night after, since Fenris was such a easily frightened child. How humorous, that this giant killer was the pup who would run from butterflies and yelp at his own shadow.

Even though fear gripped him tightly, fondness mingled with the feeling and so did pride. His children had all grown up strong. They had become survivors, fending for themselves and avoiding the detection of humans for hundreds of years. He had produced strong, clever children. He stopped backing away. Instead, he took a step forward, stretching out a hand towards the huge creatures face. A sudden memory of Tyr getting his hand bitten clean off flashed before his eyes, but he ignored it. Fenris noticed the change and stopped in his tracks, his growl becoming deeper as he lowered his head to leap.

"Fenris" Loki said, almost pleading, advancing on his child, still with his hand stretched out.

For a moment he saw something familiar in his childs eyes, something all his sons had in common; curiosity. Loki was not acting the way prey usually did and Fenris hesitated, somewhat interested in why. For a second the god of mischief felt a glimmer of hope, then Fenris poncued. He hit Loki with tremendous force, knocking him down on his back in the snow. The other wolves howled, and Fenris howled in reply. As the giant wolf triumphantly lowered his head to bite down on Lokis neck, he reacted on instinct. Not knowing what else to do in his final moment, Loki reached up and locked his arms around the wolfs head.

"It is alright" he whispered, heart racing "I am glad you are safe"

He managed to pull the wolfs head down a little, but as Fenris was about to shake him off and end him, something happened.

The face of the creature underneath him was not familiar any more to the giant wolf, the name Fenris long since forgotten, but the sound of that heartbeat, clear as day in his enormous ears, was known to him. Instead f pulling loose, the wolf lowered his head so that it rested on Lokis chest. That heartbeat meant something. It meant home. Surprised to still be alive and too frightened still to hope, Loki tentatively started to stroke the shaggy fur by the wolfs left ear, which Fenris had always enjoyed.

"There, there" Loki comforted, like he had used to when the pup would awaken from bad dreams. Usually he had said the words while still being half asleep himself, so it had become something of a song, a sound he had repeated without thinking. "There, there. It is alright. There there"

Fenris adjusted his head, the weight of it crushing the breath out of Lokis lungs but he kept still and continued to stroke the giant wolves fur. After a short while, Fenris laid down in the snow, his head still firmly on this mothers chest, snarling warnings to the other wolves as they tried to approach.

* * *

><p>Clint was pretty sure he was dead and in hell. Not that Clint really believed in hell, but the pain he was feeling and what he was seeing was just far to surreal to be life. Still, he needed to make sure.<p>

"Dead yet?" he managed to ask Loki between broken lips.

"Neither of us yet, to your great disappointment, I am sure" Loki replied, his face a mere silhouette hovering above him "I actually just convinced a pack of wolves not to dine upon your still living flesh while you were ungracefully unconscious"

While Loki talked Clint noticed two things. One was that the fussy ground he was resting on seemed to move, and the second that there were two sets of the gods eyes staring at him, and one of them was way too big för Hawkeyes taste.

"Oh, fuck it" he sighed, and then fainted again.

* * *

><p>When the SHIELD helicopter found them a couple of hours later, the scene was quite macabre. The remains of most of the agents had been either barbequed or torn apart by the crash and wild animals, their blood frozen into the snow. As if that wasn't enough the agents had found a broken Hawkeye, unconscious but alive, resting at the side of a giant wolf, that seemed to be guarding him and Loki. The God refused to move unless he got to speak with Agent Coulson, and none of the SHIELD-agents felt like arguing with him when he had the huge canine at his side, and protocol actually dictated that they should contact Coulson if things like this happened anyway.<p>

* * *

><p>A short satellite-phone conversation later Loki handed the communications device back to the operative in charge with a smile that she did not enjoy one bit. Her new directive came in from SHIELD HQ only moments later:<br>"Bring Loki and the wolf to the carrier" read the short message. She hated working for SHIELD. Why did she ever leave Boston?

* * *

><p>Loki thought putting the wolf in a helicopter might be a very poor idea, but Fenris stayed impressively calm throughout the ride and they arrived back at the carrier without incident. On the helipad they were met by a small army of soldiers and Steve Rogers, in full Captain America get up.<p>

"Such a welcome" Loki greeted and smiled, but he didn't manage his usual smirk. He was so tired, relieved, overjoyed, scared and desperate to see Hela.

"Loki" the captain replied with a nod "How do you want to do this?"

"I want to sleep, Rogers" Loki replied sharply, placing one hand protectively on Fenris neck "But I assume that will not happen"

"Not in a little while, no" the captain replied, and then he looked at Fenris, as if he was trying to evaluate him "This is your… son?"

"Youngest son, yes" Loki replied and his voice caught in his throat a little "This is Fenris"

"A pleasure, Fenris" Rogers replied, polite as always.

"He can not understand you" Loki snapped "He has forgotten much"

"Which is why he's a huge risk" Rogers continued "We're going to need to sedate him if he's coming onboard. And before you ask how we plan to do that considering he's asgardian, we DO have stuff to take down the Hulk. It never worked on Bruce, sure, but…"

"It would be sufficient for Fenris, you do not need to convince me of it" Loki interrupted, annoyed "Do what you feel you must, but where he goes, I go. And I would strongly advise against shooting him, it might just make him angry"

The captain nodded and a very, very disgruntled shield agent gave Rogers the sedative shot and he himself injected the large wolf, while Loki kept eye contact with the beast and muttered soothing sounding things in old norse. When Fenris was groggy mother and son where quickly escorted into the lower levels of the carrier, and ushered into the Hulk-proof cell that Loki felt all too familiar with. They had just managed to get Fenris inside when the giant beast collapsed into a drug-induced sleep. Loki felt like joining him, he hadn't been this tired in years, but there was still some things he needed answers to.

"I understand this looks bad, captain, but I did not crash the helicopter" he told Rogers while the american hero removed Lokis chains from his wrists.

"We know" Rogers answered plainly.

"Good. How is Hela?" Lokis tone softened at the mention of his daughters name.

"She's fine. She's cute as a bug's ear that one and very calm. She was no trouble at all"

"To my knowledge midgardian insects does not have ears" Loki commented, so confused by the old slang that he missed that the captain was talking to him like a babysitter might talk to a parent who went out for a night.

"She's fine" Rogers repeated with a pleasant smile "But you can't see her if your intention is to stay in here. It's way too dangerous to let a small child…"

"Thank you, captain" Loki interrupted and then added, hesitantly "What about Barton?"

"He's in pretty bad shape, but he's pulled through worse. He'd sure be another empty beer bottle if you hadn't made sure he didn't bleed out on the spot" The captain caught Lokis eyes and held them "Why did you help him?"

"I was being sly" Loki replied, meeting the captain's gaze "The chances you would believe my story about not causing the crash would be far greater if there was someone left alive to tell you about the instruments failing"

"I appreciate your honesty"

"It's a rare gem, really" Loki smiled, tiredly.

"Is there anything else you need?" Rogers asked kindly.

"Water for when he wakes up, a lot, preferably" Loki answered "And some for me if you can spare it"

Rogers just nodded, then he closed the cells door and walked away. Exhausted Loki ungracefully undressed from his torn clothes and put on a fresh set that someone had laid out for him on the rooms small brits, together with a blanket and a poor excuse of a pillow. Loki dragged it down to the floor and placed himself next to Fenris. He was too weak to lift his sons giant head, so instead he placed himself on his side, placing one arm around Fenris neck and making sure that his hearts was somewhere near the wolfs sensitive ears. Loki had almost no time to contemplate whether or not Fenris would eat him when he came to before he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

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><p><strong>Authors Note:<strong> Ok, now we only need a giant snake on this ship and we'll be all set for some quality family drama! And there's going to be a time jump soon, I just need to finish up some stuff!


	16. Chapter 16

Note: Thanks for the reviews and sorry for the slow update. I wrote myself into something of a corner here! Trying to get out of it!

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><p>"I'm so fucking tired of these mother fucking mythological creatures on this mother fucking plane!" Director Fury shouted and slammed a fist down on his mahogany desk.<p>

His superiors outburst didn't phase Agent Coulson, but he refrained from correcting the director by pointing out that it was actually an aircraft carrier.

"Loki we can handle, the kid we were prepared for but a giant wolf? What the hell where you thinking, agent?" Fury continued "How can we possibly keep that animal on a carrier full of tight corridors with nowhere to run in case it gets loose?"

"Would you rather have it loose in a populated area, sir, because we can just drop it back where we found it" Coulson replied casually.

"Don't be cute with me, agent" Fury scorned "This is your mess. How are you going to clean it up?"

"I'm not sure yet, sir" Coulson admitted "But Loki asked for a metal brush, and I think I'm going to start with giving him that."

* * *

><p>Loki spent three days with Fenris in the circular cell made to hold the Hulk. When the wolf first came to the glass walls had been thoroughly tested as Fenris had thrown himself against them and carefully examined every part of them in hopes of finding a way out. Of course there was none. Loki patiently waited sitting in the middle of the room, legs casually crossed, while his son took his aggression out on the smooth glass. When Fenris seemed to have calmed down and was sulkily stalking against one wall Loki spoke up:<p>

"Are you done throwing your little tantrum?"

Fenris simply looked at him, but from the creatures stance Loki knew he had understood the disapproval in his tone. Being his most unruly child, Fenris had heard it often in his young years and it was something he remembered, even if he didn't fully seem to understand the words.

"Come here" Loki continued, reinforcing his words with gestures.

Slowly Fenris approached him, his eyes fixated on the small metal object in Lokis hand. The god held up the brush for Fenris inspection and hoped that the sight of it might induce some memories. Fenris sniffed it suspiciously and then laid down, carefully placing his head in Lokis lap. It seemed the wolf tried to be gentle with him, as if he understood how much larger he was and how much harm he could do to his mother if he was not careful. Loki saw this as a good sign. Without much ceremony he started to brush Fenris wild and tangled fur, starting with the neck and working his way down. The large wolf was weary at first, but relaxed soon enough. When he had been little, Fenris had loved getting his fur brushed. Loki took his time, and talked to his son during the entire procedure. Simple words and he repeated them often, hoping his son would recognize something.

* * *

><p>Three days passed like that. No one bothered them, not even Lokis usual posse of guards stalked outside of the circular cage. Water was brought in and some food that neither the wolf not Loki ate much of. On the fourth day, when Fenris seemed to be asleep, Agent Coulson appeared outside the cage and motioned for Loki to come to the door. As quietly as possible Loki walked over and leaned on the glass, his face very close to Coulsons.<p>

"Agent" he greeted in a hushed voice.

"Mr. Laufeyson" Coulson nodded, smiling casually "Making progress?"

"Some" Loki answered, quickly looking back at Fenris before continuing "He seems to be able to understand me, simple words, when repeated. He is learning more by the day, when he picks up on one word he instantly seems to grasp three more. I theorize that since he has not been around aesir or human speech since his childhood he's forgotten that he knows it."

"Not unheard of" Agent Coulson nodded "The same thing can happen to human children if they stop being exposed to their native language, for example"

"With repetition, and the right company, I hope he will be able to regain the intellect I know he was born with" the god continued.

"We can't keep him here, Loki" It was the first time Agent Coulson had ever used his first name, but the god didn't notice. Even though Loki had been expecting this, the soft words hit him like a blow to the stomach. His eyes teared up, but for one he did not try to conceal them or force them back.

"Why not?" he asked, his voice small and uncharacteristically vulnerable.

"He's much too dangerous to keep here"

"He is not. I am far more dangerous than my child and you are able to keep me here. You keep THE HULK here"

"We keep you here because you've committed a crime" the agent reminded "It would be cruel to let Fenris live behind bars like this. This place is much too small for him. Even if he's not an animal, he's not a creature meant to live on such a confined space as an aircraft carrier. There might even be laws against keeping him here, I haven't really checked"

"I can not lose him again" Lokis voice was a mere whisper "I can not bare it"

"It's not a debate, it's been decided" Coulson tried not to sound harsh, but the truth was hard "We're moving him in a couple of hours. You should say goodbye"

"I am not going to…"

"If you put up a fight we can gas the chamber and it will be a lot worse for both of you" Coulson interrupted and Loki didn't try to finish his sentence. After all, he had know this would happen, deep down he's known. Loki leaned hard against the glass wall, quietly sobbing with one hand over his mouth not to disturb Fenris sleep. Agent Coulson turned to leave, not wanting to intrude on Lokis grief.

"Wait" The Agent turned around Loki quickly continued "Please let them meet. Hela and Fenris. They might never… I..." he seemed to struggle to find words.

Coulson simply replied "All right" and left.

* * *

><p>Half an hour later Hela was in Lokis arms for the first time since he'd left the carrier and as he picked her up he felt he might never let her go again. He'd collected himself and gently woken Fenris up as soon as Agent Coulson had left. In as simple terms as possible he had tried to relay to his son what was happening. He hoped Fenris understood, it would certainly seem that he did.<p>

When Hela was handed to her mother the wolf had curiously sniffed the air and then slowly come a bit closer, but he didn't come right up to Loki and sister. Instead he sat down in the middle of the cell, where Loki used to sit, and cocked his big head expectantly.

"Dog" Hela stated and pointed at Fenris.

"No, darling, he is a wolf" Loki corrected with a soft laugh "Fenris. This is Hela. Your sister"

Loki looked down at the child in his arms "Hela, this is Fenris. Your big brother"

Suddenly shy, Hela tangled her fingers in Lokis hair, pulling it close to her face. Fenris remained where he sat, eyes still on the small child in his mothers arms. Loki took a gentle step forward, nudging the siblings closer together. He was somewhat intrigued by how calm he felt, considering Fenris size and earlier furiosity. He thought he would have worried for Hela, but he didn't. Perhaps it was a mothers instinct. Perhaps it was because he knew his son, and he knew the behavior of wolves. Fenris had recognized the beating of Lokis heart and as soon as the smell of burnt flesh had settled, he had recognized his mothers sent. That same scent was on Hela, and Fenris would know her as kin, as a part of his pack. If anything, Loki though he should worry about why SHIELD was hadn't been more reluctant to let his daughter into the cage, when they had been so against it a couple of days ago. He decided not to dwell on it. Time was precious, and short.

"Should you not greet your brother?" Loki asked Hela, smoothly untangling her hands from his hair.

"Hi" Helas voice was a mere whisper but she managed a small smile.

Fenris gave a wag of his tail as reply and eagerly sniffed the air in Helas direction. Loki inched closer, but his children did not seem to fear nor be a danger to each other. Hela was simply being shy and silent as always, while Fenris seemed to be making an effort not to frighten her by staying on one place. During his days in the cage with Fenris Loki had noticed he was prone to pacing, but he remained still as Loki approached close enough for the children to be eye to eye. Loki shifted Hela to his hip and stroked Fenris neck with his free hand.

"You know what brother and sister means, do you not?" he asked, mainly Hela, but he did not wait for a reply "It means you are both my children, and you are kin. That you are family"

Hela stretched out one tiny, long-fingered hand and Fenris moved his head to meet it. She giggled when his big nose met her palm and Loki's heart swelled at the sight of his children together. Except for Jörmungandr and Sleipnir, his children had never met one another. Usually one had already been cast out when the next was born. He swallowed hard, not wanting to think about their inevitable parting. Not right now.

As Hela struggled to get loose Loki kneeled down on the floor next to his son and as soon as her feet touched the floor Hela made her way to Fenris tail, showing an energy that was unusual for the calm child. Fenris turned his head to follow her movements and teased her by shifting his tail out of her way, forcing her to chase it. As she caught it in a fit of giggles Loki thought he saw the corners of his sons mouth stretch in a beastly version of a small smile.

"Fenris" he said quietly and when the large head turned towards him he took his sons face between his hands "I do not know how much of my words you grasp, but please understand this:" Loki took a deep breath and put emphasis on every word "You are my child. You are loved. Never forget that"

Fenris nuzzled his huge muzzle at Lokis neck, closing his eyes for just a moment as his mother held him and his sister eagerly tried to climb up his back.

* * *

><p>"I KNOW"<p>

The large white letters shone down from the huge monitor in one of the carriers many, many tech labs. They appeared next to the video feed of what was going on inside the Hulk-proof cell, where Loki was currently hugging his son like a man desperately clinging to a piece of driftwood in a storm.

Agent Coulson looked over at Bruce Banner, who was currently operating Starks technology since the philanthropist was otherwise occupied.

"Does that mean…?"

"Maybe" Banner shrugged half-heartedly "Seems like he just made conversation"

"OW OW OW"

The letters changed as Hela attempted to climb her brother, grabbing large chunks of the wolves fur and trying to pull herself up. Loki quickly stretched for her as he noticed Fenris discomfort and Fenris playfully swatted at her with his tail.

"A good enough start" Agent Coulson smiled and pushed an already dialing phone to his ear "Hello. This is Agent Phil Coulson, with SHIELD, calling for the professor. I'll hold, thank you"

"Thought you told Rogers Xavier wouldn't take the kids of super-criminals" the hulk regarded the agent suspiciously above the frames of his glasses.

"That was over a year ago" Coulson replied lightly "With Trask on the rise and Magneto unaccounted for I'm thinking the professor might need as many friends in high places as he can get."

"And there is nothing higher than SHIELD" Banner muttered as the agent started exchanging pleasantries with someone on the other end of the line.

* * *

><p>When Agent Coulson came for Fenris Loki had almost decided to kill the man and take his chances with the armed guards that accompanied him. If he failed, Fenris could take Hela and run. But there was no where to run, even if they could survive the fall of the aircraft carrier they might land on anything from a desert to an ocean. Loki gritted his teeth as he was once again only able to plead for his children. Damn this collar and damn it's technological magic hindering his own.<p>

* * *

><p>Agent Coulson saw the poorly hidden fury fueled by impending loss in Lokis face as he approached the glass cage. Three pairs of green eyes stared at him, and Loki had protectively positioned himself in front of the gigantic wolf, even though his body was not nearly enough to hide the beasts mass behind it. Hela was standing between his legs, smiling and waving at Coulsons familiar face.<p>

"I have a couple of things to tell you and Fenris" Agent Coulson started as he got close to the glass cage door.

"Start with what you intend to do with him!" Loki demanded "Your 'contract' stated that you would protect all of my children and throwing my son back into the wilderness hardly seems like protection!"

"That's not our intention. It'll be faster if you just let me explain what's going to happen instead of making assumptions that I have to correct" the Agent stated, folding his hands in front of him, waiting to see if Loki would challenge him. The God of Mischief did not, but he gritted his teeth in a way that made the family resemblance between mother and son very clear.

"When Fenris first came on board we did not only inject him with sedatives" Agent Coulson confessed "We also added nanobots to his bloodstream. They are tiny machines that we developed to monitor the brain activity of the Hulk during transformation. We hoped it could help Dr. Banner regain more control, but it's effect was more diverse than we could have imagined. Right now they monitor brain waves and through further studies we have been able to asses that they can read strong thoughts. We have monitored Fenris mental activity during these past few days and we have found significant evidence that he can indeed deliver messages telepathically, even though you might not know it yourself at this point" The last part was directed at Fenris, who just looked back at him with canine caution.

"That's… not possible" Loki replied, deciding not to be explosively angered by the fact that they had injected his child with machines "Where would he have gained such a skill?"

"Most of us broadcast our thoughts subconsciously all the time, it's not a skill per se" Coulson continued "Being able to pick up on them however is very rare, and our 'bots can only do it when someone is clearly trying to get a message across. But we think Fenris can make great progress in the right company, as you yourself put it, so we're sending him to a school for children with special needs and abilities"

"A… school?" Loki had a hard time processing the information he was being given "How do you expect to hold a wolf in such an institution?"

"It's very well suited for the task, believe me" the Agent smiled "He won't be the only giant beast they have there either, and he will receive training from some of the worlds finest telepaths. It's also the school we plan on sending Hela to, when she comes of age"

"Will they keep him locked away?" Loki asked, placing one arm protectively around Fenris neck.

"Not unless he causes trouble. The school grounds are quite large, and he can roam them freely"

"This sounds to good to be true, Agent" Loki said grimly "What is… how do you usually put it... the catch?"

"Fenris will be tagged and monitored by us for the first year, other then that there is no catch but the one you've already agreed to"

"Which is?"

"Do anything stupid, anything to violate your contract with SHIELD, and this protection of Fenris is stripped at the same time as your own" the agent stated simply.

"So you've gained another chain to wrap around my neck and yank if I do not keep in line"

"Pretty much, yeah"Coulson smiled.

"Very well" Loki sighted "When do you need to leave?"

"Now. You and Hela can accompany Fenris to the helicopter"

* * *

><p>Chains were added to Lokis wrists, but Fenris and Hela walked free, however they were still accompanied by the heavily armed guards that usually stalked Loki everywhere. Hela sat on Fenris neck, supporting herself by wrapping her thin, long arms around his neck, her face pressed down into the raven-black fur. It was if she instinctively knew they belonged together, her and her brother. Fenris walked slowly and carefully not to accidentally shrug her off and when possible he nudged his head against his mothers side. With this hands chained together Loki could not reach far enough to his side to be able to touch his son without accidentally toppling Hela over, so he simply tried to commit everything about Fenris to memory while he still had the chance. His tiny, frightened pup, all grown up into this strong creature of beastly intelligence and beauty.<p>

"I am so proud" he whispered, too low be heard by human ears but enough for Fenris sensitive hearing. The wolf lifted his head and their eyes met, and Loki saw a mixture of happiness and something pained reflected in them.

As they reached the checkpoint where they had to say their farewells, Loki made an awkward attempt to hold his son with the chains restraining him. He muttered so many things in his son's ear, trying to put words on all the things he spent centuries wishing there would have been time to say. Hela quietly cried when Loki gently bent her arms loose from Fenris neck and the giant wolf seemed to never want to leave the embrace of his newly found family. After a couple of minutes Agent Coulson cleared his throat and informed them that they would be allowed to see each other again, if the circumstances didn't change, the implication being that "the circumstances" were Lokis terms of surrender into SHIELD custody.

"We'll need to arrange for some sort of communications method that can work for you" the agent explained "But I'm sure we could manage some video-chats, or emails that can be read to Fenris at the school. We're not going to cut you off from each other. We don't do that here"

At that moment Loki felt he could kiss Agent Coulson, which was a pretty big change from the murderous thoughts he'd had only hours before.

* * *

><p>Fenris left the carrier to enroll in Xaviers Institute for Gifted Youngsters, and Loki was together with Hela escorted back to their small cell, where the God Of Mischief spent the night staring at the ceiling, not knowing how to feel about anything<p>

* * *

><p>Authors Super-long Note (again!): Sorry for the late update and the somewhat shaky quality of the chapter, I needed to get Fenris of the carrier because you can't keep a wolf on an aircraft (silly SHIELD!) and I had no good way of doing it. I think we'll see a time jump in the next chapter, it feels like it's time for Hela to grow up a little! And yes, I made a snakes on a plane-reference. I couldn't help it.<p>

Also, I got a question a while back on how Loki could be asked by Heid (God, I would LOVE to write her into this, she's just so cool, you should read up on her if you're interested in Norse Mythology!) to carry the seed of Hela, since I might have written that he was unintentionally pregnant. If that's the case it's a miss by me, I try to keep everything concise but I might have missed that I wrote that to begin with. Even so, I believe that Heid might have gotten unintentionally pregnant with Loki, then asked him to carry it to term (because MAGIC), which would have made it a kind of not-planned thing that Loki just chose not to end. Anyhow, I'll try not to make mistakes like that going forward! Thanks for reviewing, btw! It's really awesome of you guys!


	17. Chapter 17

**Note/Warning**: This chapter contains graphical violence and abuse (non-sexual)

* * *

><p>SHIELD had a steady stream of people coming and going on the Heli Carrier. Every couple of months the personnel with clearing-level five or lower rotated, to make sure none of them saw too much or heard to many scattered conversations. Maybe that was why it took so long for the night to come when Loki's cell went completely black for the first time since he'd been put in it. Perhaps it had taken the multiple SHIELD agents over one year to get assigned to the carrier at the same time. Maybe they had been biding their time, watching Loki to make sure he was not simply acting a part, or maybe it was just a spur of the moment-thing. Loki would never know.<p>

He hadn't been sleeping that night. Instead he was reading some inane pocket book Agent Hill had left behind when the low bang of cut electricity made his head snap up just in time to see all the lights in the corridor and in his cell go out at once, as if someone had blown out a giant candle. The sudden darkness startled him, but not as much as the loss of the blinking red lights in his ceiling. As soon as the cameras switched off, Loki understood what was going to happen. He'd stopped expecting it a couple of months after he'd taken up residence on the carrier, but he'd been a fool to think it would not come eventually.

He sat up on the bed and gently gathered Hela in his arms while he tried to force his eyes to adjust to the darkness. As heavy footstep approached the door to his cell he quickly wrapped his daughter in the thin blanket from his bed and did his best to cover up her ears without waking her. She stirred when the heavy locks on his cell was opened, one by one, and Loki hushed her, whispering soothing nonsense in a mixture of English and Norse. When the strangers entered the cell, five or six of them if Loki estimated the amounts of footsteps correctly, they turned on a small, low-voltage lamp that cast an eerie green light in the small space. The light was so dim it was almost as watching reality on a low-resolution monitor, but at least it made Hela visible to the uninvited visitors. There was five of them, four men and one woman if their body-shapes were any indication. They were all identically dressed in SHIELD riot great, complete with helmets that fully covered their faces and a couple of them carried those damn rods Stark had developed, just for him. Loki still didn't know what they did exactly, and if they would be enough to kill him.

"She is barely three years old" Loki started, his voice calm and to the point "Let me put her someplace where she does not see"

Had one of the helmets not nodded in agreement, Loki would have had to consider that he'd terribly misjudged the situation and started to kill people. It seemed however that he'd been correct in thinking these agents wanted nothing with Hela. They wanted him.

Careful not to stumble in the darkness he walked over to the large dresser where he'd hid Hela when Thor had come for her that time not long ago. Loki was thankful she was such a small child that she still fit in the same drawer months later, though barley. Loki made sure she was snug in the blanket and in-between his spare clothes before he shut the drawer as much as he dared. He didn't want her to be able to sit up or wiggle free, in case he could not keep from screaming and would wake her.

Resigned he turned back to face his intruders. The one who had been carrying the light had put it down on the floor and the man who had agreed to let him put Hela away motioned Loki forward. An unnecessary gesture as the cell was small enough that the distance between them where no more than a couple of steps, but Loki played along with the mans power display and closed the distance between them.

With a gloved hand the man grabbed a handful of Lokis hair and yanked his head up, another unnecessary thing to do considering that the God with his head held like this was taller than any on the gathered intruders.

"This is for New York, you motherfucker" the man hissed, and his voice had a metallic tinge to it when filtered through the mask. Loki considered a snarky reply, but instead he clenched his teeth shut, not to accidentally bite his tongue later.

Tony Stark had probably intended that his "Loki-pokers" be used as cattle-prods should the trickster step out of line, but it turned out they were equally effective as night sticks. As the first blow hit him in the back, Loki realized just how long ago it had been since he felt real, physical pain. Even crashing into the icy ground in the belly of a burning helicopter had been a mere inconvenient ache for Lokis superhuman durability, but this, this was something else. Something much more raw and it rang in his flesh. The first blow sent a flash of light before his eyes and he toppled over, hitting his knees hard on the metal floor. Another blow landed across his shoulders and knocked the wind out of him before he was roughly dragged back on his feet and held up right.

"They seem to hurt him. Good" said the one who was probably female "My turn"

Her swing was quick and Loki had no time to turn away before she struck him over one ear, leaving his head ringing like the bell-towers of Vanaheim. His lip split open and the blood taste seeped into his mouth, sickening and thick. Agitated, she hit him again, this time swinging from the opposite direction and aiming her strike at his ribs. The crack of bone echoed through his body and he once again toppled over, this time barely managing to catch himself on his hands and knees. Two more blows landed across his back and knocked him flat unto the floor.

For a while, the panting breathing of the intruders through their metal masks and the sound of hard objects hitting flesh was the only thing heard in the small cell, as the gathered crowd took turns beating him. Loki would not have had to worry about screaming, he couldn't find the air to make any sounds. When he almost choked on his own blood, they pulled his head up from the floor by his hair and allowed him a small respite to spit it out before the yanked him back up, only to beat him down once more. Again and again.

Loki lost track of how many times he was hit, kicked or roughly pulled this way or that. He was confident it would end, but not with his death, so he didn't even attempt to fight. Even though the pain was so massive his entire body felt like one exposed nerve being played like the string of a harp, he still managed to listen for Hela through it all. All he wanted was for her to sleep through this, to not know what was happening, to not be afraid. He was scared that he would not be able to hear her calling out due to the ringing in his ears, and that her cries would go unanswered.

Then it stopped. His intruders were out of time. They pulled him up right one last time and Loki had to fight back the urge to throw up as the elevation made his head spin.

"One last thing" the man growled forcing Loki to look in to his masked eyes by ungently holding his chin "Kneel"

And Loki obeyed. It wasn't so much due to the command, his legs simply didn't carry him. He sank down on his knees at the feet of his abusers and the woman gave a cold, metallic laugh.

"In the end, you'll always kneel. Remember that" the man said, before swiftly leaving the cage together with the rest of them.

The last one out gave Loki the courtesy of a kick to his already broken ribs, which sent him tumbling to the floor in a pathetic heap of blood, broken bones and torn clothing.

* * *

><p>When the lights came back on Loki closed his eyes against them, angry at his body for not falling in such as way that his face was shielded from the rough fluorescent shine. The cell door opened again and several feet hurried inside. Loki felt a body kneel down next to him and recognized Agent Coulsons presence before he heard his voice.<p>

"Loki, can you hear me?" the agent asked, gently pushing blood soaked hair out of the gods face at the same time as his fingers tried to find a pulse underneath the power-dampening collar "Loki?"

"Hela" Loki gasped, his words muffled by his swollen lip and the blood that seemed to keep taking up residence in his mouth "Drawer"

"Get him to sick bay C, now!" Coulsons voice was commanding, a whip of words that hurried everyone into action "And get the kid out of there!"

Loki was put on something flat, lifted of the floor and taken away through the winding metallic hallways. He caught a glimpse of Agent Coulson taking Hela into his arms and finally felt she was in good enough hands for him to allow unconsciousness to grasp him.

* * *

><p>Loki was out for nearly 27 hours, during which the medical staff on hand got to witness how rapidly a Jontun body repaired itself. When he came to, Loki was still broken, but all the life-threatening internal bleeding and sealed it self up and damaged organs had started to repair themselves.<br>The first thing he saw after he blinked at the rooms soft, dim light was Agent Coulsons face hoovering very near his own. When Loki turned his head where it rested on a high pillow they were almost close enough to kiss.

"Hi" Coulson greeted softly, his serious expression momentarily cracked open by a sincere reassuring smile "How are you feeling?"

"As I have been stepped on by a giantess" Loki mumbled "Which happened once, and was not altogether an unpleasant experience."

"I'm glad they didn't beat your winning personality out of you" Coulson retorted, his voice still soft and without traces of hostility.

"I feel beaten, broken and humiliated, if you want the truth" Loki continued, his voice somewhat slurred "No worse than when your Doctor Banner smashed me into Starks hardwood floors though"

Loki felt something stir inside him and instinctively he raised his head a little from the pillow and peered over the edge of the bed to see Hela sleeping soundly in the agents lap, covered by a blanket and with her favorite plush animal hugged tightly between her long, thin arms.

"Who braided her hair?" Loki asked as he sank back into the pillow.

"I did" Coulson replied, looking down on the sleeping child on his lap "You pick up a lot in the field"

"I am assuming this field is not a literal one" Loki tried to his best to be obnoxious about midgardian sayings but his breathing came rugged and ruined the desired effect. Agent Coulson waited while Loki took a couple of deep breaths.

"You're pretty hurt" he stated.

"I will heal" Loki exhaled, not finding the strength to be annoyed with the agent for pointing out the obvious "Stark must be thrilled to know his rods are working as intended"

"Stark is furious that someone stole them from the special arms locker, and so am I" the agent replied and leaned forward "Loki, who did this?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes"

"Why?" Lokis smile was sad, and genuine "Is this not why I deserve?"

"What you deserve is not up to some low-level agents to decide" Agent Coulson replied harshly "It's not how we do things. Tell me who they are"

"I do not know them" Loki said, and coughed slightly which send a wave of pain through his broken ribs. He clenched his teeth against it.

"How many?"

"I do not know. It was dark. No less than four, no more than six"

"Would you recognize their voices?"

"No, they wore masks. It distorted everything they said"

"What did they say?"

"I paid little attention"

"You're not being helpful" the softness had gone out of Agent Coulsons voice "Do you think_ you_ deserved this, Loki?"

"Yes" The trickster replied easily "I always believe I deserve everything, from the greatest honors and the most exquisite pleasures to the deepest despair and harshest punishments. It is in my nature to feel entitled to _everything_"

He offered the agent a genuine smile and Coulson got the feeling none of them knew if Loki was joking or not. The agent rose to leave the room, gently lifting Hela with him not to disturb her sleep.

"Can she stay with me?" Loki asked, desperate to hold her, but afraid to try with his broken bones.

"Sure. This is the most well-guarded room on the carrier now anyway" Agent Coulson eased the sleeping child down at her mothers side, and Loki moved enough to allow her to rest gently on his un-broken arm.

"Fine like that?" Coulson asked and Loki gave a small nod before turning his head to the side so he could watch the top of Helas head as she slept.

"She was awake when we found you, Loki" Coulson said while idly correcting Helas small pink blanket.

"Did she see anything?" Loki asked softly.

"I don't know. Hopefully not. She couldn't sit up"

"Thank you for telling me"

As Agent Coulson was about to straighten up Lokis fingers brushed his hand ever so slightly as he withdrew it from the bedside. Considering it seemed to hurt the trickster a lot when he moved, there was no way it hadn't been intentional. The agent allowed himself to dwell a little on the touch as he strode down the hallway, looking for the right people who might break under the pressure of some courteous threats of being left alone in a room with a pissed of Iron Man.

* * *

><p>Authors Note: Yeah, I don't know what happened here. I started writing a time jump and then it ended up like this! But it builds up to stuff, and the time jump is coming! Somewhat older Hela needs to happen! As always, thanks for reading and thanks for your reviews!<p> 


	18. Chapter 18

Loki spent the better part of a week in Med Bay C, which was the one medical station on the Heli Carrier that had been adapted to treating injured super-villains. During these days he was considered a medical marvel, as the doctors on staff could almost see the bones healing before their eyes. Even in this time of healing factors and super-soldiers it was extraordinary.

To Loki, it was a pain, and not just a physical one. Having shattered bones knitting themselves back together with torn muscle was not a pleasant experience and what was worse, the initial apathy he'd felt when he first awoke diminished as his body healed. He was no longer resigned to what had happened, now he was angry. Furious, even. Not because these humans had beat him into a pulp, but because they had dared to do so in front of his child. His small, innocent child who had committed no crime except to be born to him.

If Hela had seen anything, or understood anything of what had happened, she showed no sign of it. Perhaps she was a little more affectionate towards Loki, perhaps she clinged to him a little more than usual, craved his attention more than usual, but he couldn't be sure. She never displayed her emotions vividly.

Confined to a bed, idly waiting while his body was healing was not good for Lokis composure. He tried to occupy his time by playing with Hela or reading to her, but the child was far too mellow and easy to handle to fully occupy his mind. He started thinking about beating his guards unconscious, fleeing the med bay and killing any SHIELD-agent that was about the same height or size as any of his abusers. He entertained himself with fantasies of striding door to door in the carrier, picking off agents as he went. Those violent thoughts were dangerous and he knew he should not indulge them. They were hard to control and flashed blue and bright in his mind. Angered further by his own weakness, he showed them aside and hoped for some sort of distraction.

* * *

><p>Clint Barton was not an expected visitor.<p>

"Hi'ya" he greeted as he strode across the floor and grabbed the one visitor's chair. Without much ceremony he dragged it up to the bed, but waited for Loki to give a nod of approval before he sat down.

"See, I hate that" Clint grumbled "Make's me feel like a kid"

"It has not passed" It wasn't a question, Loki knew it haden't.

"Let me tell you why I'm here and you'll be the judge" Hawkeye leaned forward, leaning his arms on his knees "I know who… you know. Beat the crap out of you. They're kinda my heroes but still I came right here to tell you I found them. Wasn't even hard. Few people are easier to track than those who think they're clever enough not to leave any trace"

"You should bring that information to…"

"Agent Coulson, yeah, thanks, I know. And I was going to. But here I am. And I told myself that I was looking into it in the first place because we can't have dirtbags going rouge in SHIELD. But that's not true. I did it because you'd want their names. And I have them. And I went straight to you, like a fucking homing bird"

"Or a dog, returning a thrown stick to its master?" Loki offered helpfully.

"Yeah, I'd be offended if that's not exactly what it feels like." Clint muttered "Look, I ain't no super. I'm just the regular guy with the bow. I never wanted to be caught up in the big leagues like this, I'm just trying to do my part"

"Does this charming anecdote have a point that might interest me?" Loki asked, stretching on the bed as much as his shackled wrists would allow him.

"Is it always going to be like this? That when you say 'jump' I'll ask 'how high'? Or is it going to wear off? Because I though it had worn off, but nope" Hawkeye balled his hands into fists in his lap "I mean, I hate you so fucking much, but I still instinctively want to do everything you tell me"

"And you think it wise to tell me of this desire to obey my commands?" Loki asked, green eyes fixed on Clint, who was studying the floor "I would surely use such information against you in very imaginative ways"

"I figured you'd already noticed"

"I had" Loki admitted.

"Is that why you didn't let me die out there?" Clint asked, jerking his head in the general direction of the outside world Loki had not seen since the Helicopter crash "So you could use me against SHIELD in here?"

"Everyone always assume my plans are so very grandiose." Loki said with a wry smile "I saved you to use you as a witness, to assure SHIELD the crash was by no fault of mine. I had no further agenda than to not forever be parted from my daughter on the basis of something I did not do"

Hawkeye seemed to mull over this for a moment, as he quietly kept stretching his fingers and balling them back into fists. Loki was a bit worried by his behavior, but there was only one avenger the trickster truly feared, and Clint was definitely not that one.

"It's just you and me here, no mics, no guards outside the door and the surveillance camera is currently being fed a streamed loop of old footage" Clint stated after a short silence, his voice an octave lower than before "So do me a favor and tell me straight: Is there any way to end this scepter mind-controlling shit of yours?"

"None except the obvious" Loki replied calmly.

"Alrighty then"

Without picking his eyes up from the floor Clint stood and walked the two short steps left to Lokis bed. The thin metal coils beneath the mattress complained against the extra weight when the archer straddled Lokis waist. There wasn't much the trickster could do with both his arms and legs chained firmly to the bed to allow only minimal movement when no guards were on hand.

Clint actually took the time to brush Lokis hair out of the way before he firmly locked his fingers around the gods throat, pressing his thumbs down hard to close his windpipe. Hawkeyes hands were strong and calloused from years of stringing a bow, but it didn't matter. They stayed like that for a while, eyes locked and their faces very close together as Clint leaned down to focus his weight into his hands. While the acrhers breaths became more intense Lokis grew shallow, but he was in no danger of suffocating. He'd had just started to entertain himself with trying to remember when someone who wasn't his child had last touched him without the intent of harming him, when Hawkeye sighed and leaned his forehead against Lokis.

"Not even really hurting you, am I?" Clint murmured and released his hold on Lokis throat.

"I am afraid you do not have the upper-body strength to choke me" Loki replied, his voice perhaps a little horse because of the small lack of air "But if it's any consolation your weight on my broken ribs are not entirely pleasant"

"It's something" Clint replied leaning back so his weight was rearranged to Lokis waist. The trickster faked a face of discomfort for good measure.

"While you're so conveniently positioned, would you be so kind as to remove these shackles?" Loki asked, indicating the chains binding his wrists. He'd kept this tone sharp, so even if it was formulated as a question, it sounded like an order. Hawkeye instinctively moved to undo them, but only for a second before he froze, mid-gesture.

"I would totally not be so kind" he replied, eyeing Loki "What are you up to?"

"Proving a point" the trickster replied "The urge to obey is simply the first one, like a basic instinct, like you said. You can easily fight it, if given a second to think about what you are doing"

"Yeah, sure, for a direct order maybe that's true" Clint replied "But that doesn't explain why I'm here with names for you"

"Perhaps the long term effects are more difficult to handle" Loki mused "When I give you a direct order you know what to react upon, and how to defy it. Perhaps since you attempted to justify tracking these rogue agents down to yourself as an act you did to protect SHIELD, it was harder to judge where your previous loyalty to me started and where your own ideas began"

"Or maybe it's all you"

"If I am still in your head it is because you keep me there, not because I have inserted myself" Loki smiled mischievously "Might it simply be my charms that has gotten to you?"

"Quick question, will you feel it if I punch you in the ribs repeatedly? Wanna try it?"

"I am not eager"

"Then wipe that stupid smile of your face. Do you want their names or not?"

"If you give them to me, I will break these bonds and I will set out for revenge" Loki sighted, leaning back against the poor excuse of a pillow "I will tear them apart, in front of each other, if possible, so they have to share in each others horrors. They will watch the life being painfully ripped from their comrades and they will know that they are next in line. I will break them each in turn before grating them death, and I will break my vow to SHIELD in the same instant. I will be hunted once more, probably by my brother who for the third time will have had his trust in me shattered and I expect he will have very little mercy left when apprehending me. Fenris will be thrown to the wolves again, if he is lucky, to live out his life as a mindless creature in the cold corners of the earth. Hela will never see me again, she will be raised by people who hate and despise me, and who will probably hate and despise her in turn and for that she will hate the memory of me. Still, knowing all this, if you gave me those names, I would kill them." Lokis eyes met Hawkeyes as he finished "You are not the only one struggling with the echo of the scepters madness, Barton. Fighting it takes self-control and discipline I fear I might not possess in this particular case"

"So that's a no, then?" Clint seemed a bit taken aback.

"Yes"

"Unless I want to really, really hurt you?"

"Precisely"

"And you are telling me this because?"

"I figured you had already noticed" Loki echoed Clints words from before.

"I hadn't"

"Then more I a fool" Loki smiled "And unless you want to look a fool and be found on top of me I suggest you get out of my bed as quickly as possible"

Clint heard the footsteps down the hall at the same time as Loki uttered the last part of the sentence and he quickly got off the bed, accidentally slamming one knee into Lokis side in the process.

"That was actually not on purpose" Clint assured as he quickly sat down in the chair again.

"I will give you the benefit of a doubt" Loki grimaced "And I am afraid I have no idea where that watch might have gone, you expect me to have kept track of such petty trinkets? Ah, Agent Coulson!"

"Gentlemen" the agent greeted from the doorway, eyeing them both suspiciously "Am I interrupting something?"

"Nothing of importance" Loki assured "Barton was just inquiring about a treasured possession lost on the crash site"

"And he's being a snarky bitch about it" Clint added helpfully.

"A-ha" Coulson took a couple of steps inside the room, and closed the door behind him, effectively shutting out the two agents he'd brought with him "And you needed to send the guards away in order to do this, Barton? And hack the security cameras?"

"Yeah, ok, even I thought that was a super-weak lie" Clint gruffed, shooting Loki a mean glare "It's like the trickster didn't even try to live up to his name"

"I was not particularly engaged in spinning clever lies for you" If Lokis hands had not been cuffed he would have nonchalantly waved one.

"I came in here and kinda…" Clint rubbed the back of his neck in an embarrassed gesture "...tried to kill him"

"A very ungrateful act considering I saved his life not long ago" Loki added.

"Needless to say, it didn't quite pan out. We talked about it. We're… cool. Right Loki?"

"I am of Jotun decent, mortal. I am always cool by your standards"

Clint actually laughed at that. A short and gruff laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. Agent Coulson pinned him with an ice-cold stare and folded his hands behind his back.

"My office, agent Barton. Now" he ordered.

"Yes, sir" Hawkeye replied and got up from the chair "I got a couple of things I need to tell you anyway"

When the archer had left the room, Agent Coulson turned to Loki.

"You all right?" he asked.

"Nothing is ever fully right with me, agent" Loki smiled "But I am unharmed, if you do not count the breaks and bruises from the previous attack"

"Good enough" Agent Coulson looked around the room "Where's Hela?"

"Getting her infuriating hair cut" Loki sighted "It has become unmanageable again"

"I bet you one day she's going to love it" the agent smiled "Always being able to change you hair and have it grow out in days? It's every young girls dream"

"My girl is not every girl, agent" Loki snarked, but then regretted his hostility and added "But thank you for the encouragement"

"Anytime" Agent Coulson smiled politely "If you excuse me, I need to have a word with Agent Barton"

Loki gave a nod as a reply and Agent Coulson let the room in a quick, goal-oriented stride. The trickster did not envy Hawkeye the conversation he was about to have.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors notes:<strong> Wow you guys, thanks for all the nice things you keep saying in the reviews! It makes me super-happy and very psyched to keep producing Loki-feels! Regarding the update frequency, I try to write at least one chapter a week but I got an upcoming lecture I need to finish up, so I might be a bit slower than usual. Also, we're totally gonna get that time jump! Real soon! I just need to write about Loki having his first outing with Hela, which it totally coming next, because it feels like something nice needs to happen to Loki now!


	19. Chapter 19

Maybe it was guilt. Or perhaps it was because he was not yet at full strength and therefore not considered as much of a threat as usual, or maybe it was just the convenient location of the Heli Carrier that made Agent Coulson ask Loki if he would like to take Hela outside for the day.

"Do you mean on the flight deck?" Loki asked suspiciously while stopping his daughter from drawing on the floor with the crayon she was holding.

"No, like actually outside. We need to set the carrier down anyway and I think the place is ideal for a little field trip" Agent Coulson smiled "She's never been outside, after all, and you could probably use some fresh air yourself"

As expected, Loki was hesitant, assuming it to be some sort of trick, but when the agent had convinced him it wasn't, he graciously agreed.

* * *

><p>Loki was somewhat suspicious of the lack of chains he was wearing for the trip. As usual, his wrists were cuffed, restraining the movements of both his arms and legs, but usually there would be at least two more chains being used as leashes. When Loki asked why they were missing Agent Coulson smiled and replied "You'll understand soon enough"<p>

The agent was dressed in a thick winter jacket and proper gear for cold weather and so was the other guards coming outside with them. No one had offered Hela or Loki anything extra to wear over their usual SHIELD-assigned attire. Loki asked about this as well.

"We didn't think you needed extra clothes against the cold" Agent Coulson answered "If you feel you or Hela do, tell us and we'll get some"

Loki nodded and turned his attention to the large door opening before him. The daylight was blinding when he stepped into it. After so long in the halogen lights of the inner bowels of the Heli Carrier his eyes were not adjusted to the natural light. With Hela in his cuffed arms he couldn't shield his face from it, so he simply blinked until the colors stopped dancing in front of his eyes and the world came in to view.

He actually gasped at the landscape, filling his lungs with ice cold air, fresh with the smell of snow. In the distance, a mighty glacier scaled the side of black mountains and from it sprung a river with water so clear it was almost a luminescent blue where it carved it's way through the snow and ice. The rocky ground was covered in a thin sheet of new fallen snow that sparkled like crystals in the sunlight. A few pine-trees bravely stood tall against the cold and harsh environment, but they were the only plants in sight. Between the Heli Carrier and the mountain range there was only a vast snow-covered plain and the surprisingly slow-running river.

"Truly ideal" Loki smiled and Coulson returned it.

"Nowhere to run" the agent added "Come on, let's walk for a bit"

Loki put Hela down and with her tiny hand in his they walked into the snow. It wasn't deep, so Hela had no trouble keeping up with her mother. However they didn't get far until Hela let go of Lokis hands and simply sat down in the snow, investigating the strange phenomenon with her hands and mouth.

"This is snow, daughter" Loki smiled as he kneeled down next to her "We have read about snow in our books"

"'now!" Hela repeated, her cheeks stuffed full with the cold flakes.

"Did any of our books proclaim snow to be food?" Loki continued, fishing a now tightly packed lump of frozen water out of Helas mouth "I do not think they did"

Hela glared at him for a moment before picking up both herself and another hand full of snow that she eagerly showed to Coulson.

"Acoo! 'now!" She said, holding the snow up to him.

"Yeah, would you look at that!" Agent Coulson replied "And you can still call me Phil if 'Agent Coulson' is a bit of a mouthful"

Hela simply looked at him before slowly putting the snow in her mouth.

"I saw that, daughter" Loki reprimanded and Hela let the frozen liquid spill out of her mouth before she walked off, trailing something that caught her attention.

"Is she becoming more defiant of you?" Agent Coulson asked as Loki stood to join him in following Hela across the field "Human kids will do that at her age"

"Not defiant, but she is developing a mind of her own" Loki replied "Jörmungandr was awful at her age. He would simply do the precise opposite of everything I told him"

"What about Fenris?"

"He was… different. He would listen, like Hela does, but he had a temper that was based in fear. I was always fretting over him, jumping at shadows, when he was little and I do not think it did him any favours. He scared easily and he handled fear poorly"

"He seems pretty calm now"

"You said you would investigate if there was a way for us to keep contact, but you have not mentioned it again. Were those empty words, Agent?" Loki asked sharply. He's been meaning to bring it up for some time, but there had never been a good opportunity.

"No, we're looking in to it" Coulson replied without blinking "However his teacher would like to give him some time to adjust to the new environment before having him contacting you again"

"Meaning they want to limit my influence...Hela, I can see you still! Stop it!"

"Meaning they're trying to help him understand a gift he might not know he had, and the situation is pretty complicated" Agent Coulson stopped and faced the trickster "Loki, our contract states that your children are under SHIELD-protection. No harm will come to Fenris, I promise you. You know how much I love my paper-thin vows"

The last thing was said with a smile, and Loki might have smiled back if he had not caught Hela once again trying to eat something she'd dug up from underneath the thin blanket of snow.

"Are you hungry, Hela?" Agent Coulson asked "Because I packed lunch!"

* * *

><p>They had a little picnic by the shore of the river, beneath one of the few trees. The other guards hung back, content to point their guns at Loki from the warmth of one of the carriers massive doors. Coulson had brought some sort of thermo blanket for them to sit on, but both Loki and Hela prefered to sit in the snow.<p>

The agent produced some different containers from his backpack and handed one to the trickster, that contained some fruit and a small jar of blood mixed with goat milk and flour for Hela, which she ate greedily and messy since she would not allow her mother to help with the spoon. Loki also picked her some fresh pine needles from the tree and she seemed quite content suckling on them and watching the water stream by. The agent handed Loki a sandwich with meat and cheese, and a cup of hot, dark liquid that smelled foul but familiar.

"Is this that thing that seems to fuel the entire staff of SHIELD?" Loki asked, sniffing it suspiciously after graciously finishing his sandwich even though he was not hungry "You all reek of this in the mornings"

"It's coffee, yes" Agent Coulson smiled politely "Try it, you might like it"

Loki took a careful sip and immediately spat out the bitter liquid. He'd considered being polite and attempting to keep it in his mouth for a millisecond but there was just no way.

"You drink this vile thing voluntarily?" he asked, while cleaning his mouth out with some snow.

"No eat 'now!" Hela said and pointed a Loki "No eat!"

"I am your mother and I eat what I please, including pesky little daughters"Loki proclaimed and snatched Hela up in his arms, pretending to bite her stomach while she croaked from hushed laughter. Loki laughed with her and Agent Coulson watched them both while sipping his coffee.

"Look at you, a fine mess you have made of yourself" Loki told Hela, examining her blood-soaked hands and face. "I wonder… Agent, do not give the order to shoot, I am in no way attempting a daring but foolish escape, I am simply investigating a theory"

With some effort he managed to get his SHIELD-assigned shoes of and with Hela on his hip he carefully stepped down into the river. The water was ice cold, but it didn't bother him. It must be winter on which ever continent this was, because the stream was running low, it barely reached Loki half-way up his leg.

"You want to try the water?" he asked Hela, and she nodded eagerly, fretting to get out of his arms and into the stream.

With the special magical powers only known to single parents Loki managed to get Helas shoes, shirt and pants off while still holding her above water and with his hands cuffed. He was pretty pleased with himself when he tossed the pieces of clothing ashore to Agent Coulson. Carefully he lowered Hela into the stream while keeping a firm hold underneath her armpits, in case it would be to cold for her and she'd want out. She was, after all, only half-frost giant. His worries had no ground though, as soon as Hela was lowered into the water she let out a hushed scream of delight and started splashing away. She had always loved water but this made her almost ecstatic with joy.

After that, it essentially became a day at the beach, only the complete opposite. Loki played with Hela in the water, laughing along with her excitement, especially when she tried to call Agent Coulson to join them.

"Yes, join us, Agent" Loki smiled "The water is quite nice if freezing cold does not become you"

"I'm afraid I left my swim trunks in my other pair of thermopants" the agent replied "Next time!"

After frolicking in the water for the better part of an hour Hela grew tired and Loki picked her up and walked back to where Coulson waited for them. He laid down in the snow next to the agents thermo-blanket and Hela stretched out on his chest, falling asleep. Loki closed his eyes, took a couple deep breaths of crisp fresh air and cherished the feeling of sun on his face.

"You are spoiling me, agent" Loki's voice came out low, not to wake Hela "Tell me the truth, is this building up to something unspeakably horrible? It feels like a last meal"

"You're not going to like it, but it's not an unspeakable horror" Coulson replied, sipping his third mug of coffee.

"So there is something"

"Yes"

"Are you going to tell me what it is?"

"You're being relocated. Hela is coming with you" Coulson anticipated Lokis follow-up question before he could ask it "Frankly, we can't guarantee your security on the carrier, and it would seem I can't guarantee the security of my staff with you around"

"Barton told you?" Loki had assumed Hawkeye would tell his superior everything, or at least the better part of everything.

"I have a talent for getting people to tell me things. I'm good like that" Coulson said and took another sip "I didn't have to use that on Barton though, he was more than willing to share the conversation the two of you had during his failed assassination attempt. He told me you seemed to think you could bust out at any moment and go on a killing spree, that you have to restrain yourself not to do it"

"I am noticing very carefully chosen words here, agent. 'Seems to think'?" Loki repeated, unphased.

"Let's just say it wouldn't be the first time your hubris didn't serve your purpose" Agent Coulson replied.

Loki laughed dryly, making Hela stir on top of him.

"Let us hope we never get to find out which one of our egos are bigger, Agent" Loki smiled "And I hope Barton put the same weight on my words when I said I had no desire to break my agreement with SHEILD.

"He did" Agent Coulson confirmed.

"But you do not trust my word?"

"Half the time you don't seem to trust your own words, Loki" the agent replied and Loki laughed.

"Fair enough" the trickster smiled "May I ask, what happened to the agents who attacked me?"

"They have been taken care of"

"What does that imply?"

"That they are facing justice, and they will be a warning example to others who might wonder what happens if you break SHIELD protocol on duty" Coulson said coldly "Direct order from Director Fury. He wanted to make sure no-one else get's the idea to attack any super-villain prisoners"

"You are holding others?" Lokis curiosity was peaked "Who?"

"That's classified" Agent Coulson smiled "But I can tell you that the worst of them is three threat-levels above you"

"Now that will surely keep me up at night. Which level am I?"

"The amounts of levels is classified information"

"Would I be above or below The Hulk in this threat-calculation?" Loki was enjoying this, like a guessing game.

"If the Hulk was considered an enemy threat, he would be above you" Coulson smiled and Loki grimaced.

"That does not seem fair. I deem your raking-system poor, agent!" he changed the subject as he re-arranged Hela in his arms "To where are we being relocated, precisely?"

"To a facility better suited to handle a prisoner of your threat-level, and where Hela might have more space to move freely" Coulson effectively dodged the question "You'll know more in a day or two"

"You hinted that I would disapprove of the location"

"You most certainly will"

"A final question for you to avoid answering then" Loki started and then trailed of, absentmindedly stroking Helas back before he continued "Will… will you be relocated there as well? I know you are not always present at the carrier…"

"I go where SHIELD needs me. Why do you ask?" Agent Coulson replied, turning his head to look down on the trickster stretched out on the ground.

"Your name was the second word Hela ever spoke" Loki started, speaking slowly as if he was hesitant of every syllable "She spends more time with our guards and Hill than you, but it is you she has a name for. It is you she sometimes asks for when you have been gone long. She has known you to be a comfort in her little world, someone who comes to the rescue when things looks dark, someone who spares her a kind word and a smile in a place where almost everyone are faceless behind their riot gear."

Loki didn't meet the agents eyes as he spoke, he simply watched Hela sleep on his chest, the blue side of her face lit up by the almost-setting sun.

"I believe, Agent Coulson, that you are my daughters hero" he finished "And if at all possible, I would be grateful if you would continue to be a stable part of her life"

"Loki.." Coulson wasn't sure how to reply. Laying in the snow, face still bruised from the assault, messy raven hair spread across the white crystals and with a small child resting on his torso the trickster didn't look all that dangerous, but the agent knew he was.

"I was a fool to ask" Loki murmured "Forget I said anything"

"I don't make decisions on where I'm stationed, the higher-ups do that" Coulson explained "It's not my choice"

* * *

><p>After that they didn't speak and as the sun set behind the mountains they returned back to the Heli Carrier. Loki waked Hela up to show her the sky as the first stars started to light up the night before they went inside.<p>

"Tars!" Hela pointed, mimicking both Lokis movement and words as he woke her up.

"Yes, daughter" he smiled.

"Who are 'hey?" Hela asked in her tiny, hushed voice.

"Do you mean what their names are?" Loki clarified and Hela nodded "I am afraid they are not the stars I grew up with, darling, and thus I have not learnt their names"

"See the big one over there Hela?" Agent Coulson leaned down so he was at eye-level with the child in Lokis arms "That's the north star, the brightest one in our sky, and always the earliest to come out at night"

"'at one?" Hela asked and pointed in an arbitrary direction on the sky.

"Where? There?" Coulson pointed in about the same direction and Hela reached for him. Loki willingly let go as Coulson accepted the child into his arms and rested her weight on one hip, like her mother used to do. Hela comfortably put her arms around Coulsons neck.

"T'ere!" Hela pointed again, as she was no able to give the agent proper instructions for her improved position.

"Ah, that's mighty Orion" Coulson explained "Those three stars are his belt. Below it you see his feet, and look above it and you'll see he's wielding a mighty shield and a sword"

"Why?"

"Because of Taurus, the bull. He's right over there on the sky, do you see?"

Loki watched them and thought of Frigga. When they had been children and too restless to be read to before bed she would take them out one of Asgards many balconies and have them make up stories about the stars. She would have them create a character each from a constellation and then she spun a story across the heavens for her children. They were often about a pair of heroes, that used strength and wit to overcome their foes together. How desperate she must have been for her quarreling children to be friends, how much she must have longed for them to see their differences as strengths binding them together, not something making them slip apart.

At that moment, he missed the woman he had called his mother, he missed the bother he had admired before that feeling turned sour and he missed the familiar stars of his childhood. Hela would never meet Frigga. She would never tell stories of adventure to her granddaughter. Hela would probably never meet Heid, the fiercely intelligent woman who bested Loki in strength and wit, and who would still made him laugh. There were so many important people who would have loved her that she would never meet, because Odin sat on the throne that should by right have been his by now. And now she would lose Coulson.

The man who was spinning her stories about stars.

* * *

><p>It was quite a self-discovery for Loki to admit that he wanted Hela to have other people in her life except him. He'd always been possessive and competitive for others affection. He'd always longed to be the one favored, instead of Thor or who else might rival him. But not, he realized, with Hela. He mulled this over in his cell that night as Hela slept on the bed, alone for once as he paced the length of the cage and back. If he had died at the hands of those agents, or the hands of Hawkeye, what would have become of Hela? Who would have cared for her when she was not allowed in Asgard?<p>

The fact that SHIELD still wouldn't allow him a pen was outrageous. As the tore out Helas crayons and a blank piece of paper from a drawer he was already annoyed at himself for what he was about to do. He was sure he would live to regret it a thousand times over. Blindly he'd picked a green crayon by mistake and he was already half way through the first part of the letter when he noticed and realized it would look pompous since that was "his" color. Even more ashamed and annoyed, he continued the letter in the latin alphabet with effort.

_"Brother"_ it read when he was finished _"I have need of you. Should you find the time I would ask that you visit me when on earth. I wish for"_ and the hesitation in his letters were clear as day here _"my daughter to know her uncle, should he wish to know her. - Loki"_

He slipped the note to one of the guards who was always stationed at the dark outside his cell through the small hatch that was used to hand him document and other thing SHIELD might want him to look over.

"Please give this to agent Coulson at your convenience" he asked politely "And if he has any means of contacting my brother I would be greatly inconvenienced and ashamed if he got this. However, I would also be thankful"

The guards only nodded, and Loki went to join his daugher in sleep.

* * *

><p>The avenger that came to visit a couple of days later was not Thor.<p>

"Hey there, Loki" Tony Stark greeted with a huge smile "Seems like you've gotten in some trouble on this plane, huh?"

"By plane do you refer to the carrier or to this plane of existence?" Loki replied without looking up from his work.

"Both! They both seems equally correct!" How could a mans teeth be so white? Loki made a mental note to make fun of him for it at some point.

Iron man looked around Lokis cell making a disapproving clicking sounds with this tongue as he looked over his and Helas meager possessions.

"You haven't even packed yet!" he reprimanded, wagging a finger at Loki.

"You beat me here, Mr Stark" Agent Coulson joined the philanthropist behind the glass wall "I didn't have time to brief Loki about the details of his relocation"

"Oh, yeah, I totally didn't press the thrusters of the Mac15 to the limit to make sure I beat you here, how unfortunate that I did!" Stark gloated and Loki noted that he was still armored up to his waist in red-and gold metal "Now I get to be here when you tell him the good news!"

Dread filled Loki and he slowly rose from his chair.

"This simply can not imply that you are considering…"

"Loki, it has been decided that you're going to be relocated to…" Agent Coulson started but he was interrupted.

"You're coming to live with me, sunshine!" Stark beamed.

If there had been any way for the man to fit a confetti-shooter inside his suit he would have popped it at that precise moment when Loki understood what was being said, and his face showed nothing but utter horror.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note:<strong> So I made a big deal about trying to update once a week and then I update the next day!? What is this inconsistency? But I was home sick so I figured I might as well go ahead and get to the part where Loki moves in to the Avengers Tower. Because it's totally not the worst decision made by SHIELD ever, right? Also, Loki is totally not even being subtle with Coulson anymore. He thinks he's being coy, but he's NOT. Also you guys realize this fic will go on forever right? We passed the ending I had planned like 10 chapters ago. We're screwed.


	20. Chapter 20

"I am to reside within the Avengers tower?"

"Yep!"

"In New York?"

"Yes!"

"On Manhattan?"

"Gold star on the geography test there!" Stark gave Loki two thumbs up.

"That I…"

"Tried to destroy on the back of alien flying water-scooter, you betcha!"

"This is an awful idea" Loki shook his head "This is madness"

"That's what I said, but with a lot more shouting! We've got so much in common, we're just going to get along GREAT!"

"It is the one facility we have that can meet the requirements to imprison you, while at the same time offers suitable living conditions for your daughter" Agent Coulson sighed, rubbing his forehead "It's been decided and Stark, need I remind you that you agreed to this?"

"Yeah, sure, I did, but not because I thought it was a swell idea" Tony replied with a shrug "But its' also true that it's the best place to store him. I've installed all manner of inventive security systems. And the Hulk lives there too!"

"Speaking of your ill-tempered friend, what are the Avengers opinion about this?" Loki asked "Because you are relocating me to a place where the residents actually have the strength to strangle me"

"Which is why most of them think this is a great idea" Stark smiled while tapping away on his phone "Cap's really eager to have you under boot"

Loki, however, was not eager to be placed there, but Agent Coulson was right. Hela could not live in a small, metal box on a flying military base.

* * *

><p>Loki and Hela was transported to the Avengers tower together with four boxes of assorted possessions on an inconspicuous helicopter the same evening. When he was being chained up for the trip the short female guard was on hand. Loki hadn't seen her for quite some time.<p>

"Have a nice trip, Mr. Laufeyson" she said as he was ushered out of the cell that had been his home for almost two years.

"One question, if I may" Loki stopped outside the door and turned to face her "What is your name?"

"Helen" the woman answered after a moments hesitation.

"Thank you, Helen, for being kind to my child" Loki said sincerely and bowed his head to her.

"I was only doing my job" she responded.

"You did more than that" Lokis smile was sad and genuine "I like your hair that way" He finished as he was led down the hallway. Helen smiled behind his back and fingered her short, brown hair.

* * *

><p>As they went in for landing on the helipad on top of the Avenger tower Agent Coulson, who had accompanied them for the tip, eased a black bag over Lokis head.<p>

"We don't want anyone to know you're here" he explained "Inside we have systems in place to make sure you can't be detected from the outside, but the roof is unprotected"

"No need for the running narration agent" Lokis voice was muffled by the hood "I understand why the measures are being taken"

"Right. Of course" Coulson leaned back in his seat next to Loki and started flipping through his files without reading them.

When they landed, the agent picked up Hela in his arms and led the way as the other soldiers followed in close formation around Loki. With the bag over his head he was lead into an elevator that fell down so fast it made his ears pop. After that there were some more twists and turns down hallways before the group stopped to while a large-sounding door unlocked and then shut behind them. The hood was yanked off his head as they stood tightly packed in a small room resembling an airlock.

"Here we are" Coulson pushed the anonymous metal door in front of them open to reveal the apartment behind it. The agent stepped inside and Loki followed suit.

He entered a small hallway that led straight into a large living room, decorated in plain but tasteful, earthly tones. Simple but comfortable furniture lined the room; a couple of bookshelves in dark wood, a cremé colored couch with a matching chair and coffee-table and a large desk occupied the floor. This new cell had a huge glass wall as well, but instead of being a window into the room this one looked out over the city lights. The view was gorgeous.  
>To the left there was a small kitchen, probably fully equipped but Loki had no idea what kitchens, especially midgardian ones, was supposed to have in them.<p>

"You can just put those anywhere" Agent Coulson instructed the two guards carrying their four boxes of assorted possessions "You can leave. We're fine here. Someone tell Stark we've arrived in case he missed the military helicopter landing on his roof and the parade"

When the guards left and shut the door behind them Loki noticed it didn't have a doorknob. At least that was familiar.

"Would you like to see your room, Hela?"

"My 'oom?" "Her Room?" Mother and daughter echoed each other.

Coulson pointed Hela to a small, narrow hallway with two doors.

"First one"

She looked over to Loki before approaching and he gave her an encouraging smile. Using both her hands she managed to turn the knob and walked into a room Loki really, really hoped was not painted bright pink.

It turned out the room was a soft purple, more close to blue then pink. All the furniture went in eggshell white and so did the soft carpet covering the hardwood floor. The room wasn't extravagant, it held a couple of shelves, a built in closet, a bed and a dresser, all arranged against three walls since the full-wall window from the living room extended into Helas room as well. Beneath it there was a built-in bench full of drawers and decorated with colorful pillows. Hela immediately climbed up on it at put her tiny hands against the window.

Loki watched her from the doorway and took in the details of the room at the same time. Fairytale-paintings lined the walls, books were stacked high in the shelves and dolls crowded with plush animals on the bed. Loki didn't need to open the closet to know there were clothes in there in Helas exact size.

"Stark has been generous" he mumbled.

"Compared to most other apartments in this building this one is very spartan, Mr. Stark probably believes you're living in squalor" Coulson smiled in his neutral way "Your room is just next door"

After checking on Hela to make sure she was content where she sat mesmerized by the city below her, Loki walked down the corridor. He pushed the remaining door open and stepped into a small room which was much more barren than the rest of the apartment. There were no ornaments or paintings, no extra knick-knacks except the essentials. A quite large bed dominated most of the floorspace, a plain green cover thrown on top of it. A small bedside table hosted a simple lamp and the wall opposite the bed held a small closet.

The full-length window obviously extended the whole side of the apartment because it was present in this room as well. Loki walked in and curiously opened the closet to reveal several simple shirts in varying degrees of black, navy and dark green. Rummaging through a couple of built in drawers he found various other pieces of clothing that looked more like actual human wear and less like the prison-outfits he'd been dressed in since surrendering to SHIELD.

Tony Stark, the Iron Man, had bought him and his daughter clothes. Loki was both overwhelmed and incredibly annoyed.

"Better than the carrier" Agent Coulson smiled from the doorway "Give me your hands for a moment?"

Loki held out his cuffed wrists as the agent joined him in the room. Coulson produced an oddly-shaped key from somewhere inside his suit. With a couple of small, complicated movements he removed the chains around Lokis wrists and knelt down to undo the ones around his ankles. Loki absentmindedly stretched his arms while listening after any indication that Hela was not content where she was.

"You'll still need to wear these around the building" Coulson explained as the chains clattered to the floor "But this floor has… special security measures, so you'll be able to move around in the apartment and the lab outside it without these"

As he began to stand up Loki bent down and offered a hand in support. The agent took it almost automatically and pulled himself up assisted by the trickster. As he attempted to pull his hand back Loki didn't let go, instead he placed his other hand on top Coulsons.

"Loki..." the agent warned.

"I harbor no ill intentions" the god assured softly "I simply… thank you, for this kindness and the others you have bestowed upon me and my children"

"You're here because I couldn't keep you safe and on Mr. Starks expense as much as SHIELDs" Coulson countered "But you're welcome. You've been a great asset to our organization so far"

"Oh agent! You are going to make me blush" Loki jested, still not releasing Coulsons hand.

"Cut it" the agent smiled "But fine. For a super-villain who once stabbed me in the heart, you're not so bad once one get's to know you"

"I never set out to play the villain, agent"

"I think few people do" Coulson replied "The question is whether or not you can see your own faults and be willing to change. There might actually be a decent person somewhere inside you, trying to get out"

"I…"

"Am I interrupting a delicate moment here? I have a tendency to do that!" Stark bolstered from the doorway.

"Nothing in particular" Coulson answered and casually withdrew his hand from Lokis "How about you walk him through the general security methods of this floor, Mr. Stark?"

"What, you get do to the 'move that bus'-thing and I'm stuck with the technical details?" Tony pouted as the agent passed him on his way out of the room "What do you think of the place, Loki? Pretty sweet, right?"

"Compared to the simplest halls of Asgard your most splendid human dwellings are crude at best, but it will suffice" Loki was not going to give Stark the satisfaction of letting him know how overwhelmed he felt.

"Shouldn't have gotten yourself cast out of those great halls then!" Stark smiled and ushered him out in the hallway "Come on, I'm suddenly much more eager to tell you how this place can hurt you."

Loki peered into Helas room when they passed it and caught a quick glimpse of Agent Coulson pointing something out for her in the distant skyline. A quick smile flashed across his face before he moved to join Stark, who had dropped down on the couch, one arm wrapped over the back. Loki sat down in the matching armchair, trying to look as relaxed as possible while still coming off as hostile.

"It has been months, Stark. Flown into any interesting wormholes lately?" he enquired, hoping that small talk might give him an opportunity to lash out at the philanthropist. Right now the power scale was largely tipped in Starks favor and knowing that left a sour taste in Lokis mouth.

"Nope. There's been a shortage of those since we locked you up" Stark smiled "How've you been, by the way? Between all the beatings and assassination attempts, I mean?"

"I am surprised you know about the latter" Loki replied.

"Clint told me. He lives here too, you know? He makes mean pancakes!" Stark picked up his phone and gave the screen a quick glance "So, the rods. Remember what you said the first time I showed them to you?"

"Not in particular, but knowing myself I assume it was something insulting to your person?"

"Correct! You asked me if they were worse than the pain of my excessive talking, and I told you we'd do an evaluation if I ever needed to use one" Stark looked at him expectedly "So, evaluate!"

"As painful as a conversation with you can be, I am afraid the rod wins" Loki replied, looking out the window "I must congratulate you on your design, Stark. It hurt worse than I expected"

"But you expected it?"

"Of course I expected it" Loki replied "I was surprised it did not happen sooner. I have even tried to give them opportunities to get to me when Hela has not been present, so she would not have to.. witness anything. Sadly, that did not play out"

"Yeah, Coulson said something about that" Stark mumbled and all the glee seemed to have gone out of him, which Loki enjoyed "Anyhow, time is money and my time is a lot more money than most others, so let me just give you the basics of how it works having me as a landlord!"

He clasped his hands together before starting to explain the layout of the apartment and how every part of it could be remotely locked down like a panic-room if Loki would get out of hand. He also talked about how amazing the window was, as it was completely unbreakable.

"I even had the Hulk try to smash one and it took him like, four tries" Stark said excitedly.

"Then they are not completely unbreakable" Loki noted.

"The hulk doesn't count! He's like the one percent margin of error"

He continued explaining how food and deliveries would work. Loki had a small kitchen with a stove and it was equipped to cook simple meals and tea, but most food would be delivered to him from the kitchens. He would eat what the staff got that same day, but Helas food would be prepared special. His door did not unlock from the inside, clearance was required for him to leave the apartment and someone was always on staff to monitor his activities. Although someone would always listen in on anything he said there were no cameras in the apartment.

"It's for Helas sake, not yours" Stark explained "We've got heat signature tracking instead, so we'll still be able to see everything you do but without all the full frontal nudity. There's security cameras too, but they only record, in case there would be an incident. They're not monitored"

That was a relief. Loki had not enjoyed undressing in front of people in masks every time he was allowed to take a shower, but it had severely bothered him that they'd watched Hela as well.

"That about covers it, I guess" Stark said, slapping the palms on his hands on the couch "There's a couple of other things, the entire place can be flooded with gas if we'd need to sedate you for example, but it's better if you don't know about those little tricks. We'll show you the rest of the floor some other time"

"The floor?" Loki asked. Coulson had kept talking about it as well.

"Well, not as in the floor we stand on, it's like this entire…"

"I understand what you mean by it!" Loki snapped.

"Ok ok, I was just being thorough. You have a tendency to take things very literally" Stark gestured towards the door "This entire floor has been renovated to hold super-prisoners, like you. Some long term, some short term. There's also a couple of facilities on this floor that you might need, such as a lab to work in, so we won't have to move you around as much"

"How very considerate"

"Don't mention it" Stark smiled "There's only one way of this floor, and the entire building it stock-full with supers who knock you out before you get to it, should you try to get to it"

"I have no intention to escape" Loki assured him as Coulson walked into the living room with Hela in his arms "Did she fall asleep?"

"Yes, like a narcoleptic. It was just lights out" the agent replied and then looked at Stark "Have you covered everything?"

"Everything he needs to know" Stark answered and got up from his seat "Gotta run, I have a party to excuse myself from attending! Coming, Agent?"

Coulson nodded and Loki moved to take Hela out of his arms. As they switched her weight between them Hela curled up against her mother's chest while mumbling "Bye bye, Acoo" in her tiny voice.

"Yes, farewell agent" Loki echoed silently.

"I'm coming back, Hela" Coulson assured the half-sleeping child and then directed his attention to Loki "I'm still the agent assigned to you"

"I wish you would have told me that before I let my intricately created persona of sarcastic wit be smudged with sentiment" Loki replied in mock annoyance.

The agent gave him a quick smile and then joined Stark as the iron door opened by some invisible hand, revealing the small room and the huge second door behind it.

"Bye Loki, bye Hela! Have a good first evening in your new place" Stark said cheerfully before the door slammed shut, leaving the trickster alone with his child.

* * *

><p>"So what was I interrupting back there, Agent?" Tony smile was too big and too white for Phils liking "Didn't peg you for the type who were into reforming bad boys? Or like, dudes at all. Of course he is a shapeshifter, so I guess that doesn't have to be an issue if one's a little open minded with the..."<p>

"Whatever you're implying, Mr Stark, you're mistaken" the agent answered sharply "You're talking about someone who killed me. Kinda."

"Yeah, which is why I thought you of all people would be more hostile against him"

"Hostility solves nothing ("The Huld begs to differ" Tony mumbled) and revenge is not productive" Phil replied and started down the Iron Man, who threw up his hands in defense.

"OK, I feel you. I was kinda kidding, like 70% kidding. Now I'm thinking you're a little too quick to completely dismiss this. A bit suspicious"

"Is there any way to have an adult conversation with you?"

"Not if it doesn't involve R-rated adult activity, alcohol or quantum physics" Stark smiled.

* * *

><p>Loki walked between the rooms with Hela on his hip, pulling drawers out at random as he went. Still no pens, he noticed. That had to be intentional just to annoy him, because the kitchen held a small collection of forks and knives. As he went into the small bathroom he was astonished to find that there was a tub in it. A small one, too short for him to lay down in, but still.<p>

"Daughter" he whispered softly "Would you like a bath?"

The mention of her all-time favorite pastime roused Hela from her sleep and within minutes the tub was full with lukewarm water. Loki helped his daughter to rid herself of her dark SHIELD-clothes, which looked like a miniature set of his own shapeless prison-outfit, and then set her down in the water where she immediately started to try to relocate the liquid unto the floor.

For the first time in years Loki undressed without anybody watching him and reveled in the feeling of basic privacy. When no other peering eyes were upon him he took the time to study his reflection in the mirror above the sink. He'd lost weight, not much but enough to make him look a bit withered, and his skin was paler than he remembered, or maybe it was just the dark circles below his eyes that made it appear so. His hair was a mess of black curls that reached way past his shoulders at this point. He would have to do something about that later. The collar had chafed against his neck for so long that it had manage to miss-color the skin beneath it. Loki fingered the black, thin metal that cut him off from the majority of his magic and sighed.

He joined Hela in the water and instigated a small, local splash war with her that raged from one side of the tub to another while they both laughed between the sprays. When Hela tired of it Loki set about the ambitious project of washing her hair. Even though it had been recently cut it was almost as long as she was tall and he had to wash it in sections, as there was no way for him to fit all of it into his hands at once. After rising Helas hair with the detachable shower he quickly washed his own hair and body, before getting them both out of the tub.

"You can have another bath tomorrow, if you wish" he told Hela as she showed no signs of wanting to get out of the water "For now, it is time for bed"

He dried her in a soft towel with the SHIELD logo printed on it and then simply allowed her to walk naked into the apartment. After drying himself he wrapped the towel around his waist, snatched up a comb and followed the small wet footprints into Helas room, where she had perched herself on the bench by the window.

He sat down next to her and together they watched the now dark streets come alive with lights from cars, buildings and signs. Loki brushed Helas hair and braided it in a pretty intricate way that was reminiscent of how Heid would wear her hair when she needed it out of the way.

"I believe I am gaining some skill in this, daughter" Loki said when he had finished "What is your judgement?"

"Pretty!" Hela answered showing her hands into the thick braid and messing it up.

Loki combed his own hair and after a moments hesitation, he gathered some of the hair by his temples and braided it behind each ear, connecting the two at the back of his head. It was a simple style, common among the men of Asgard and worn by his brother, last he'd seem him, Loki realized. He decided to keep it anyway.

He found a pajamas with strange colorful creatures printed upon them in one of Helas drawers and she allowed him to dress her without fuss. There were similar garments in his own drawers, only instead of fantasy animals his was striped in dark green and black. He put on the pants but didn't bother with a shirt. He turned up one side of his bed and put Hela down into it. She might have her own bed but Loki wasn't ready to have her sleep anywhere but right next to him yet. In the hallway he found their collection of boxes and quickly rummaged through them to find Helas favorite pink plushy which she hugged close when he handed it to her.

He slipped down next to Hela and pulled the heavy cover over them both, while pulling her close. Looking out into the Manhattan night sky, Loki allowed himself to enjoy the soft touch of high-quality cotton and the smell of his daughters newly-washed hair before he submitted to the inherited paranoia of the sceptre and started to worry about when all this would be taken away from him and how he could defend it.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Notes<strong>: Ah, 20 chapters (and this was the LONGEST one yet)! That's insane. I've actually got an ending in mind now only... Avengers 2 kinda needs to come out for it to work. There's going to be a lot more avengers coming up, so yay! Also, I'm writing some stand-alone shorts about the kids that I might publish as different fics at one point.  
>Anyhow, I keep learning so much when writing this fic! For this chapter I had to Google layouts for american apartments, since the first rendition I wrote kinda didn't work since I used a common Swedish layout that I realized wouldn't fit in a skyscraper. I've also learnt about wolves body language, the Canadian ice field, star maps and futhark runes.<p> 


	21. Chapter 21

The next day Loki woke up with the sun in his face, the softness of the bed a blessing and for a moment he was almost at peace. He wanted the feeling to last and decided not to get up unless someone came for him. Nobody did.

He entertained Hela with stories about old gods and ancient wars until noon, when he finally grew bored and rose to see if there was something for Hela to eat. In the small kitchen he noticed a couple of containers that has not been there last night. They had just appeared on a counter, but there was no way he wouldn't have heard the door open. Upon further investigation he realized that there was a hatch in the kitchen wall which did not open from his side. Clever.

Hela had silently followed him into the kitchen, dragging her stuffed pink creature with her.

"Sit down and I will prepare you something to eat" Loki unstructured and Hela obeyed, slowly climbing one of the kitchen tables two chairs.

Loki found some fresh pine needles in one container and concluded it would suffice as a very late breakfast. With some embarrassing difficulty he managed to work out how human electric stoves worked (the cabin he had previously stayed at sported a gas one) and put some water on. He dropped the pine needles in and cooked them for a couple of minutes as he found a bowl, a cup and a spoon. He poured some of the hot water in the cup and the rest into the bowl, mashing up the needles into a porridge with the spoon. He sat down opposite to Hela and quietly drank his tea while she made a mess of herself and the table while she ate.

"Good?" he asked and she nodded.

"Tell me that you like it daughter, do not simply nod" Loki reprimanded "You need to practice your words"

Hela started at him across the table, his own eyes, but bigger and darker. Serious about the task presented to her she put down her spoon and started into what remained of her food, as if she was trying to find the perfect words to describe the mashed up pines.

"Good" she decided and it was like she tried out the word before speaking it for real "It.. 's.. good"

"Very eloquently put daughter" Loki smiled at her "We shall surely make a poet out of you, my quiet little girl"

"Hela listen" she continued in her hushed voice, looking at the doorway "To de O'hers"

"The Others? Do you refer to the other people we know, such as Agent Coulson and Stark?"

"'Tark no" she shook her head slowly "The 'ey ones"

"The grey ones?" Loki had felt something stir in Hela for months. She picked up words fast, somewhat too fast and Loki had an inkling what that could mean. Until he was certain he didn't want anything else about the grey ones to be recorded by whoever was listening in, so he changed the subject.

"Shall we go investigate the new comrades for your pink rabbit?" Loki gestured towards the plush toy that had somehow made it's way onto the table top.

"Phil!" Hela exclaimed happily, holding the rabbit up for Lokis inspection.

"You have named your pink stuffed bunny after Agent Coulson?" Lokis smile was so wide he feared it might split his face "Daughter, that is priceless. Come, let's go wash your hands and face first"

"Bath!"

"No, not just yet. Maybe this evening, if you keep getting more food on you than inside you" Loki led her into the bathroom and helped her wash up. He removed her stained pajamas and let it soak in the sink as he told Hela to pick something else to war from her wardrobe. She chose a plain blue dress and Loki helped her get it on before they sat on the bed together and Loki had Hela tell him stories about the new dolls, like Frigga had made him tell her stories about the stars.

In the pile of toys however Loki made a shocking and annoying discovery. Hidden between a stuffed bear and some replica of a human woman with grossly distorted bodily proportions there was an Iron Man doll. Loki quickly snatched it up and stared angrily at the small plastic face made to look like a metal mask. Even the doll looked smug. Something needed to be done about it. With a grin on his face he hummed along to Helas broken up stories about Phil and a blue and purple dragon while he removed a pink dress from another doll. With some finesse he managed to get the dress on Iron man and held it up to Hela.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"Hm" Hela contemplated the foofy dress "Hat!"

"A hat yes, that would complete the look" Loki smiled at his child "Shall we make him one?"

Instinctively he reached for his magic only to remember that he could not conjure anything, not even something as small and simple as a hat for a doll. He could create a temporary illusion but not actually manifest anything, or even a lasting illusion. It had been so long since he used his magic for anything, it was strange that he would try to use it now, like trying to use a limb lost years ago. Maybe it was the sense of familiarity that came with being able to move between rooms, wearing actual clothes, sleeping in a bed that was not just a mattress thrown on top of a metal bench and being able to cook for his child that made him forget. For a brief moment he went silent and tried to feel the place inside him where his magic should be. There was still some left, but it felt like a forgotten box in an otherwise empty room. There was so much empty space.

"Fadir" Hela grabbed his hand, wanting attention "Hat!"

She held out a tiny hair clip with a dotted bow glued to it that she had retrieved from one of the drawers.

"Yes, that is perfect" Loki smiled and managed to balance the clip on the dolls head "Let us place it somewhere where everyone can see how pretty Iron Man looks"

He picked up Hela and walked into the living room, where they spent a good ten minutes selecting the best place for the dressed up doll. Loki felt a lot better once the doll was proudly displayed in one of the empty bookshelves, pink dress and dotted bow clearly visible from the door.

* * *

><p>Loki unpacked their small collection of possessions from the Heli Carrier and tried to find places for them where they didn't look completely depressing. His small collection of books only filled half a shelf and he tried to spread them out to make it look less empty. The various folders and papers he'd kept during his work in the labs he shoved into one of the desks drawers. He found the his work tablet in a protective case together with a charger, which he plugged in and then forgot about. Some of Helas old toys and books where still in the boxes and Loki tasked her with finding suitable places to store them, which would lead to him finding a story book about a cursed princess in the fridge three days later.<p>

Some of Helas old drawing where among their things and Loki picked out two he was very proud of Hela for making and using some sticky tape he found in his desk he put them up by the door in his room. Walking out he stumbled on his chains, still in a tangled mess on the floor where Agent Coulson had undone them. Angrily he kicked them underneath the bed, not wanting them anywhere in sight or even to touch them with his hands. If someone came to chain him up again they would have to rummage around underneath the large piece of furniture first. Loki liked the thought of that.

The first three days passed without interruption. On the fourth day, Thor arrived just as Hela had fallen asleep for an afternoon nap.

* * *

><p>Loki knew as soon as he heard the knock on his door that his brother had come to visit. No one else was dimwitted enough to knock before entering a prison cell. It wasn't like Loki could open it from this side, so why bother? He got up from the sofa where he'd been reading and waited with his back against it as the metal door slid open to reveal his brother, looking very large in the small room outside Lokis cell.<p>

"Welcome to my humble abode, brother" Loki greeted "Such a pleasant surprise"

"I meant to visit sooner, but there has been unrest in…" Thor started but Loki interrupted him.

"Spare me. I am glad the crown prince could find the time to come see us" through his words were harsh, his tone was not.

"I have brought you a gift" Thor said, holding it out with both hands as the metal door closed behind him.

"You brought me flowers?" Loki asked as he started at the potted plant in Thors massive hands "Brother, people will talk"

"Jane told me it is common practice on earth" Thor replied looking genuinely embarrassed as he showed the gift in his brothers arms "It is to warm the new dwelling"

"Curious" Loki brought the yellow flower up to his face to examine it "I have not heard of any midgardain plants that emit heat. What is it called?"

"It is a 'sunflower'" Thor answered helpfully.

"Ah" Loki and Thor both poked the flowers yellow leaves, but none of them could feel if it was any warmer than a regular earth flower.

Eventually Loki invited Thor inside and disappeared into the kitchen while the thunderer hung Mjölnir on the coat-rack.

"Can I offer you anything brother?" he called "And I should warn you that by 'anything' I mean rather flavorless tea, as that is what I have access to, unless you have a craving for stale bread"

"Tea, please" Thor replied as he followed his brother into the tiny kitchen.

As Loki scurried around, producing a kettle that was swiftly put on the stove and two simple white cups, Thor carefully sat down on one of the seemingly fragile chairs. It complained under his weight and he dared not sit down properly out of fear of breaking it into firewood.

"You seem.. well" Thor awkwardly said to Lokis back and his brother snorted in reply.

"Did they tell you what transpired on the carrier?" he asked and Thor nodded.

"Today, when I came here. Loki, had I known sooner, I would have…"

"Cheered them on?" Loki snapped without turning around.

"Truly, you do not believe that?" Thors voice held that level of hurt that Loki hated, but he managed to contain himself and his instinctive anger.

"No, perhaps not" he sighted "Green or red tea?"

"Red"

"Of course"

"Are you having green?"

"Yes, but only because I prefer the taste"

"Of course"

Both brothers smiled but neither of them saw it. Loki put the little bags into the cups and started to pour water on top of them.

"Were you badly injured in the fray?" Thor asked quietly, or as quietly as it was possible with his deep, rumbling voice

"There was no fray brother, no battle to tell of" Loki replied, carrying the cups to the table and pushing one over to Thor before he took the other seat "I was chained, outnumbered, and they carried weapons specially built to hurt me. I came out of it with quite a few broken bones and a severely bruised pride"

"I am sorry"

"For what? You did not instigate the attack, nor are you the one tasked with keeping me safe and alive while I am in midgardian custody" Loki looked over his cup at his brother "So what are you sorry for? No wait, do not answer. If you say you are sorry for me than I will use what little magic I have left to turn your hair red and curly"

They sat in uncomfortable silence across from each other, sipping their hot tea. Thors massive body dwarfed the kitchen and made it look smaller than it was. Loki noticed that he did not sit properly on his chair and that he was incredibly uneasy with the situation, his blue eyes kept darting to everything but his brother. The bright yellow flower stood on the table between them and the entire scene was so absurd that Loki burst out laughing. Thor jumped at the sound but after a seconds confusion he joined in.

"Look at us, having tea in my kitchen" Loki wiped a tear from underneath his eye "An untrained eye would take us for civilized beings"

"Not the way you leave the bag in" Thor smiled and fished his up from the tea "It's a breach of etiquette, at least in the old Saxon lands"

"Ah, yes, how fares life with your midgardian bride?" Loki asked casually and Thor searched his voice for malice but found none.

"It fares well. Jane is… I have no words for her. Or at least none you would care to hear" he answered slowly, waiting for Loki to bite him of with sarcasm "But she is not my bride"

"Is that a choice she made, or you?"

"Neither. It has not come up" Thor couldn't believe he was actually having a somewhat normal conversation with his brother.

"But you are with her, so to speak?"

"I am hers, as long as she wishes me to be"

"Lady Sif must be so very disappointed" Loki mused, stirring his tea with his bag.

"I do not see why she should be" Thor said, staring down into his cup.

"Then you are not only a fool but a blind one, brother" Loki answered leaning his arms on the table "For centuries she have had eyes only for you and the occasional battle. Not even Höder could miss it, and he is both blind and dead"

"Perhaps" Thor replied "Father presented a similar trail of thought, though it had never crossed my mind"

"Let me guess" Loki sat back in his chair "Her life is too fleeting, she is too fragile and you would be better served with what lies in front of you?"

"How did you know? Loki, was that you who…!"

"How could I have taken Odins place when I have been incarcerated in a different realm?" Loki snapped, spreading his arms "I know because he told me the same thing once. However what laid in front of me was far less appealing than the Lady Sif"

"You… loved a human?" Thor was genuinely confused and Loki gave a short, sharp laugh in reply.

"No brother, nothing quite so mundane" he smiled "Odin found out about me and Helas father, however this was years before I came down with child. He gave me a variation of the same speech then. Curious now that I think about it, considering my heritage. He could have been rid of me"

"He did not wish to be rid of you Loki" Thor said softly "We are fa…"

"He cast out my children, brother. He and I are not family" Lokis voice dripped with poison "But maybe it is true that he did still want to keep me, as a trophy of his victory over Laufey, or as a bargaining chip. We will never know for sure"

"You still call me brother" Thor noted.

"I do" Loki sighed "Old habit"

"Who is Helas father, if I may ask?" Thor was curious, he knew very little of his brothers life those times he left the court to travel or all the times where Thor had been to drunk to pay attention to what he was up to.

"If I tell you, will you swear not to harm this person?" Loki locked his green eyes with Thors blue "On your life, your love and your honor?"

"Of course Loki. I swear"

"And you can not tell another soul" Loki urged on.

"I will not. On my honor"

"It is Fandral"

"WHAT?!" Thor stood up so fast that he knocked his chair all the way into the living room "Loki, you jest… you can not mean that you and… and… Fandral…"

"Laid down together in secret over the years and produced a child?" Loki couldn't keep his face straight when Thor looked so utterly horrified and he started laughing "Of course I jest brother! Even I have standards! Get the chair"

"That was not amusing, Loki!" Thor said dangerously as he sat back down at the table "I do not enjoy hearing lies about my friends"

"Oh, but they make for such excellent material" Loki smiled but then he sighted "Your vow not to harm Helas father still stands though. Her name is Heid. You have met her"

Thor tried to remember a face to go with that name. Many centuries ago he had met her, a giantess at least a head taller than him and with broad shoulders, broader hips and a warm smile on her full lips. He had challenged him to an arm wrestling match and won.

"Yes, I remember her" he said "She was beautiful, Loki"

"She is clever, fierce and has a great sense of humor" Loki replied sharply "And she is a shapeshifter. Most of the things I know of the art I learned from her, Frigga was never very interested in the subject, she was happy with illusions. But yes, her curves and golden hair are attractive traits as well"

"Father did not approve?"

"When have you known Odin to approve of anything I have done?"

Thor wisely chose not to answer that and instead sipped his quickly cooling tea. Since the silence was already awkward, Thor decided he might just as well mention the reason he had come and make it full-on uncomfortable.

"I received your letter" he said without looking at his brother.

"Oh" Loki hated that he felt ashamed, he regretted ever having written the stupid thing, he regretted admitting weakness.

"I am glad that you… reached out. I had almost given…"

"Please, brother, stop" Loki held up a hand and shook his head "There is no need to make this any more embarrassing than it already is. I contacted you for Helas sake, not my own"

"What would you ask of me?" Thors voice was a soft rumble across the table.

"That you get to know her. That she gets to know you" Loki replied, tracing a finger over a smudge on the tabletop "You are reliable, bother, in a way I could never hope to be. Stability is in your nature, you and people like you. It was never in me. I need you to know my daughter, in case I would fall from this small shard of grace bestowed upon me by SHIELD, so she will not be completely alone"

"Simply do not fall, Loki" Thor replied after a moments silence.

"That is the thing, brother" Loki said and finally met Thors gaze "Once you have started to fall, it is extraordinary difficult to stop"

To Thors extreme surprise Loki did not pull away when the thunderer reached across the small table and placed his hand over his brothers, an echo from the Brimfrost on both their minds.

"I shall go rouse my daughter" Loki mumbled and got up from his chair "We have wasted enough time already"

Without looking at Thor he walked out of the kitchen and slid into Helas room, quiet as a shadow. He took a deep breath and watched his daughters peaceful face for a moment before he gently woke her up. This was going to be hard for him.

"It is time to wake up, daughter" he said softly as he gathered her up in his arms "There is someone I wish for you to meet properly"

Hela rubbed her eyes but came awoke rather quickly. She slept often and heavy, but she was never fussy or cranky after a nap, as Jörmungandr had been.

* * *

><p>Thor had moved into the living room and was now blocking out a significant portion of the window as he watched the roof-tops. He spun around as Loki entered the room with Hela in his arms. When Thor had last seen the child she had been hardly more than a baby. She was bigger now, taller, with thin arms securely wrapped around Lokis neck. Her long, raven hair was carefully braided in classic Asgardian fashion and still it was long enough to trail behind her when she walked upright. The miss coloured part of her skin had settled into a slightly paler shade of blue than when he had last seen her and while it still looked strange it was at least not the color of fresh bruises. When she peeked at him curiously with green eyes in a narrow face she looked eerily similar to a young Loki, as Thor remembered him from childhood. The thunderer felt a sting of shame thinking about the last time he had seen the child, when he had burst into her life with the intention of handing her over to Odin.<p>

"Daughter, this is Thor" Loki introduced "My brother, whom you have met only briefly"

Hela looked at him with big eyes and the thunderer hoped she did not recognize him, then she looked up at her mother and pointed at Thor.

"Dog?" she asked.

"No, daughter" Loki laughed warmly "Not all brothers are wolfs or serpents"

"She met Fenris a while ago" Loki explained to Thor as he set Hela down on the floor "Can you not greet my brother properly?"

"Hi" her voice was small and hushed, like the wind through high grass.

"Hello, little one" Thor smiled and tried to hide how uncomfortable he felt "Can you tell me your name?"

"Hela" she replied, her one small hand grabbing the fabric of Lokis pants-leg as to assure herself that he was still there.

Thor wasn't used to children. He didn't know what to say, or how to act. Desperately he searched for something to ask about or something to amuse her. Loki noticed his predicament and placed a hand on the top of his child's head.

"Daughter, perhaps you should fetch Phil? Thor is probably eager to meet him as well"

She nodded and vanished into her room. Loki sat down in the rooms only armchair and bid Thor to take the couch, which he did. Hela returned shortly with a pink, stuffed bunny. After a moments hesitation she climbed up on the couch next to Thor and held the toy to him.

"Phil, the stuffed bunny, meet Thor, one of the pagan gods of thunder" Loki gestured between the thunderer and the toy with a wry smile.

Not sure what else to do, Thor took one of the bunnys paws between two of his fingers and shook it slowly.

"An honor, Phil the Bunny" he greeted and was rewarded by a shy smile from Hela.

Loki felt an instinctive prick of budding jealousy. He hated the thought of Hela adoring Thor, as most other people did, she was his daughter. He quenched the nauseating feeling as he watched his child and his brother make slow conversation. It didn't matter what he felt, what mattered is that Hela would not be left alone in any of the nine worlds at the mercy of Odins indifference.

Thor ended up reading to Hela while Loki prepared a meal for her and slowly the thunderer began to relax a little around the unusually calm child. As they sat together and read the Thor stole glances of Loki as he cooked and delivered food to Hela. He was amazed at how genuinely comfortable his brother seemed with his daughter. He had never known Loki to be anything but sharp edges and mocking grins, but with his child he was warm, soft and patient. Thor found himself wishing Frigga could have seen this, but then realized that maybe she had, with one or all of Lokis other children.

After an hour, Thor began making excuses and Loki seemed relieved to have him leave. It probably took a huge amount of will for the trickster not to mock for an hour straight.

"It was very nice to meet you proper, Hela" Thor kneeled down and smiled at her as he was about to leave "I shall return to visit again, if you allow it?"

"No take me?" Hela said and something within Loki froze as he tried to make sense of her words. _No, take me with you?_ There was half a second of panic and agony before he realized she had meant_ Do not take me_.

"Hela" Loki asked before Thor could puzzle the sentence together "Do you remember my brother? From before he came here today?"

Hela simply nodded, her long braid swinging with the motion. Thor visibly paled and when he looked up at Loki the tricksters eyes were hard as they started down at him.

"Hela, I was a fool to try and take you away" Thor told the child, his voice almost pleading "I will not attempt such a thing ever again, you have my word"

Hela seemed to mull it over before she nodded again and replied "T'or can come 'isit"

"Thank you" the thunderer replied with honesty and gratitude lining his words.

Loki hated it that tone of voice. Thor got to his feet and for a moment Loki feared the thunderer might try to hug him, but he didn't.

"Until next time, brother" the trickster said and placed a protective hand on Helas shoulder. Thor simply nodded in reply, grabbed Mjölnir and left.

Loki had to mentally brace himself not to kick the door.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Notes:<strong> Ok ok, NOW we'll actually have a time-jump, because Hela needs to learn how to talk properly, since I have no idea how small English-speaking children talk. Loki also really needs something to do in the Avengers tower. He's going to get really bored very soon if he's just going to hang around the apartment. Good thing Agent Romanov is about to turn up! Oh btw, this is officially the longest chapter to date!

As always, thanks for the very nice and insightful reviews! :D


	22. Chapter 22

Loki started to work in the lab, mostly alone aided by the mechanical voice of Starks personal android servant who relaid assignments to him. They wouldn't let him be free of his chains outside the apartment like Coulson had assumed, but his new ones where a lot lighter and gave him more range to move his arms. Hela would sit at his feet and draw pictures that made no sense to anyone but her. Sometimes Stark would join them and Loki would light up in a parade of snarks and wit. He loved his child but not having anyone to verbally abuse bored Loki, so he was thankful for the Iron Mans visits.

In his spare time he'd started to teach Hela how to read every language he knew in the universe. She was quick to learn, as always. Within months she read basic English, Futhark and some Kree. Her vocabulary improved drastically as well, especially now when she had more people around her who spoke to her. In the Helicarrier she had seldom had any contact with other people than Loki, their guards and Agents Hill and Coulson. In the Avengers tower people were generally friendlier and (annoyingly) less scared of Loki, probably because they had seen the other residents of the tower beat him senseless on national news a couple of years ago.

Since Loki was still not allowed to use the internet an envelope with a printed email from Fenris was delivered to him through the slide in the kitchen wall one day. He waited to read it until he was sure Hela was occupied with her drawings.

As he unfolded the paper he realized he was frightened of what it would say. It had been so long since Fenris had been sent away and they had only had a couple of days together in a centuries. What if his pup hated him, now that he had gained perspective? Perhaps whoever he was with now had poisoned him against his mother. Loki wasn't sure he could handle that.

The letter was short and to the point.

_"Mother. Doing well. Hope to visit. Give sister my love. Fenris"_

Eleven words that didn't say much and still Loki had to fight to keep back the tears. He had Hela read it to him twice and then read it again that night when he couldn't sleep. His son had a life. He was doing well. He might come visit. It was more than Loki had dared to hope for, but beneath the feeling of joy lurked deeply rooted paranoia. Every comfort, every kindness, was something that could be ripped away from him by his captors on a whim. They could hurt his children. Would he be powerless to stop them should the day come when the fickle nature of man finally made his fears come true? Loki tried to bury the darkness somewhere deep inside of him, but he knew he could not contain it forever.

* * *

><p>Even though the Hulk lived in the building and the apartment that was holding him was specially designed to be able to take him out if needed, Loki hadn't felt real fear in the Avengers tower until the day the Black Widow came for him. She entered his cell with casual grace and clad in jeans and a simple blouse she was the single most terrifying thing Loki had seen in years. Instinctively he swooped up Hela and made sure his body was between his daughter and the agent.<p>

There was one Avenger Loki feared, and that was the Black rest of them might hurt him, but they were warriors, bound by honor and very similar to the Aesir in that manner. The Widow was a warrior but of a different kind than he was used to. She was sly, deadly and played by other rules than the rest in her group. If there was one person that would kill Loki simply because it would be more cost efficient and because s/he thought he deserved it, it was her.

"Agent Romanov" he greeted, but didn't add any of his usual 'to what to I owe this pleasure'-snark.

"Loki" she replied with a nod and then favored Hela with a small smile that the trickster could not interpret.

She produced a pair of loose, thin cuffs that looked suspiciously like they would carry a Stark-logo if there had been room on the metal and held them out to Loki.

"Put your daughter down and put these on, please" she said, and her voice was ice and honey "Don't worry about her, someone will be looking after her"

"Who?" Loki asked as he reluctantly let Hela out of his arms.

"Someone SHIELD has deemed appropriate" Romanov replied without actually giving an answer and Loki asserted that this was not the time to put up a fight.  
>He accepted the open handcuffs and closed one cold metal ring around his wrist and then hesitated.<p>

"Front or back?" he asked the redheaded agent while weighing the still open cuff in his free hand.

"Either one is good" she replied with a shrug "It doesn't make much difference"

Loki would like to think it made a difference to a human if he would be able to strangle them with a chain or not, but when it came to Romanov he believed that it actually wouldn't. Loki cuffed his other wrist in front of his body for good measure and gave Hela a smile he hoped was calming. She'd attached himself on his pants leg and taken to staring at Romanov in her usual silence as soon as he had put her down.

"Come on" the Widow said and nodded towards the door that was slowly opening. Loki didn't move.

"Where are we going?" he demanded.

"Somewhere to talk" Romanov replied and headed for the door "Follow me, please. I'm not going to ask nicely twice."

"Do not fret, daughter. I shall return shortly" Loki assured Hela before following the agent out of the cell, hoping that he had not unintentionally lied to his child.

After they exited the airlock-like room behind Lokis prison cell he fell into step behind agent Romanov, who led him down a couple of corridors and to a small windowless interrogation room he hadn't seen before. She opened the door for him and he stepped inside.

"Have a seat" Romanov said as she closed the door behind him. There wasn't much to do but for Loki to obey, and he sat down on one of the two chairs that was separated by a heavy metal table.

To his annoyance, his heart was racing. He was worried for Hela, he didn't like to leave her alone on Agent Romanovs orders. He had left her in the care of others before, but that was when he knew Agent Coulson surveillanced the was different. He didn't actually know who was his ward in this Tower. Was it still Agent Coulson, whom he had not seen in weeks, was it Stark or some faceless part of the organisation he hadn't met?

The agent entered the room with a large ledger which she gently smashed down on the table separating them before sitting down on the cold metal chair that was an exact replica of the one Loki was uncomfortably seated on.

"This is what we're going to do, Loki" the Black Widow started and drew the top paper out from the folder.

It was a photograph and she turned the image around so that it was right side up for Loki to see. It showed a man in his mid thirties, with dark hair and a horrible mustache, posing with two equally dark haired children, a boy and a girl, maybe between the ages of ten and six.

"This is Thomas Kernell" the red headed woman started, tapping the picture with a well-kept nail "He's was a single dad who tried to care for his kids after his wife passed away from cancer two years before this picture was taken. This is his daughter Selena, named after the famous tennis-player you probably haven't heard about, and his son Jack, named after Thomas father that died in Nam. These kids are currently in the care of the state, since they have no living relatives to take them in after you killed Thomas in the SHIELD bunker"

Loki looked up from the photograph and met the agent cool, unpredictable green eyes that seemed to asses his every breath.

"This is what we're going to do" She said slowly, placing a hand on the thick folder "Every day you are going to look at a picture of someone who died because of you, and you will listen to what their lives where like before you ended them. After eighty days, there will be a test. If you forget a single name…"

She trailed off and in a voice strangely lacking hostility Loki asked "Then what?"

"Then something very unpleasant happens to you. I'll have the details sorted by then"

"And if I pass?"

"There are really no winning conditions" Romanov replied "There's only insight into what you've caused. You're a parent. I'm sure there is some part of you that can understand the pain of loss"

"Is that a threat, agent?"

"It could be" she shrugged.

Romanov talked to Loki about Thomas Kernell for over an hour and he made sure to make his face a mask of neutrality not to provoke her. Strangely, he wasn't bored by the lecture on a dead man. A part of him would not allow himself to be bored. When they were done and Agent Romanov rose to leave he spoke for the first time since they entered the room.

"When we have completed my ledger, Agent Romanov" Loki spoke in a low voice "Perhaps I can quiz you on yours?"

"No need" the redhead smiled casually "I know it by heart"

* * *

><p>He had brought Hela to the lab with him when the day he dreaded (well, one of the many, many days he dreaded) finally came. Some other SHIELD scientists had been working long side him, and because of this he had been properly secured before being allowed to leave his well-furnished prison.<p>

Loki had known the time would come when the question would be asked. His child was clever, after all, and even if she had no sense of how other children her age lived she must start having questions about their situation at some point. Sitting at his feet, idly playing with some colored blocks while he worked, Hela had suddenly grabbed one of the many chains that secured Lokis limbs and pulled at it.

"Father" she said in her tiny hushed voice "Why do you have these?"

Lokis stiffened, unsure of how to answer correctly with so many SHIELD ears listening in on everything he said. The only remaining scientist had the good taste to leave the room when Loki stared in her direction, but the entire place was monitored and bugged. To buy himself some time he picked the girl up and seated her on the table in front of him, where she continued to finger an additional chain around his neck while he straightened her clothes.

"Are you a prisoner?" she asked, eyes on the shining metal.

"Yes" Loki answered plainly.

"Like a princess? Like in the books?"

"No, daughter, not like that" Loki replied while cursing this realms taste in children's literature "I did something foolish and I am held captive here as punishment"

"What did you do?" Helas huge dark eyes met his and Loki had trouble finding the words.

What was he to say? That he attempted to overthrow the king of their realm, dispose of his disgustingly kind-hearted brother, destroy the land of his birth-parents and when that fell apart, foolishly agreed to a deal that might cost him more than his life and then miserably failed at the task laid out for him?

"Something stupid, and greedy" he replied.

"Was it an evil thing, father?" Hela suddenly looked shy.

"People were hurt because of me" Loki assumed that would please the agents listening in, without him having to answer the question.

"Many people?"

"Yes."

"Am I a prisoner too?" his child asked while fiddling with another link in the chain.

"No, daughter"

"Oh. Do you want me to free you, like in the stories?"

"No, Hela" Loki smiled "I have to remain here until my punishment is completed"

_And then onwards to the next, unless I am lucky enough to be snatched away to an eternity of pain beyond my wildest imagination_, he thought, but he did not speak of it. One problem at the time.

"Do I have to stay here too?" Hela asked.

"For a little while longer you have to remain with me" Loki answered, feeling a sharp pain at the thought of losing her "After that you can choose to go where ever you would like"

Hela gingerly slid off the table and into Lokis lap. She wrapped her thin arms around his waist, grabbing hold of the chains as she buried her face in his chest.

"I never want to leave you mother" she mumbled into the fabric "Not ever"

Loki held her tight and buried his face in her hair.

"You can not live your life in a prison, child" he said softly "You will understand when you get older"

"Maybe when you get older YOU will understand that I can!" Hela pouted.

"Listen to me. My punishment is not for you to share" Loki tilted her head up so that he could look into her eyes as she spoke "I alone must face what I have done. I alone must atone for my sins. They are not carried in my blood and thus you are free of them in this realm, as you are free of my name and the burden that comes with it. You have to make your own life someday, beloved daughter, and that life can not be here with me"

"You're lying"

"I am a liar, but in this I speak the truth"

"Maybe your truths are my lies" Hela replied and buried her face in his shirt. She refused to speak a single word more on the matter and Loki was content simply holding his child for a while.

* * *

><p>Authors Note: Ok, so TIME-JUMP because Hela can talk proper now! Huzzah! That means we might get more of The Grey. There's also some Norse mythology and Coulson coming up! If this chapter feels like it lacks direction it's because it totally does! I've been wanting to put the part with Natasha in for quite some time and I thought if was time for Hela to start asking some hard questions. There was a norse-mythology part of this chapter that I cut out because it felt a little to soon to take the story in yet another Norse direction, but it might come in later!<p> 


	23. Chapter 23

Loki got through 42 photos of unfamiliar faces belonging to people with ordinary lives that he had abruptly ended before he couldn't stand it any more and defaulted to his usual defense of snark. He was frightened of Agent Romanov, but fearing things usually made him angry and he'd had enough of her games. As she packed up to leave the small room that had become their usual spot for this activity Loki snatched up the picture of Sofia Harrelson, a young rather pretty woman who was the sole caretaker of her old mother, and studied it intently.

"I have a query, Agent Romanov" he said coldly as he flipped the photo back to her.

She simply waited, her head slightly cocked and face expressionless.

"So far every face you have shown me have been those of agents" Loki started and traced a finger over the rim of the photograph "Are all of them?"

"Most" she replied simply "There's also the man from Berlin"

"Then tell me this, daughter of Drakov" he used the name Barton had revealed to him simply to spite her and though she seemed unphased, something flickered in her eyes "Were they not drafted to lay down their lives in defense of this realm?"

"If you're asking of they signed up knowing that they might die in the service of SHIELD, the answer is yes"

"Then were they not warriors, who in the end met death on the battlefield? And was it not their path not a chosen one?"

"There was no battlefield, Loki" the Widow replied, her voice still calm and controlled "Most of them died as the building collapsed"

"Oh, but the battlefield I provided was more gracious than yours" Loki knew he should stop, he should have stopped talking three sentences ago, but he was angry "They gave themselves to SHIELD willingly and died honoring their pledge, not in the middle of the street by a bullet in their back because someone had decided their business venture was too much competition to handle. They did not bleed out on the cobblestone in front of their children, daughter of Drakov. Their throats were not slit at night while their wives slept soundly next to them, only to waken from the heat of their lovers blood as it gushed over the bedding"

Slowly, the Widow sat back down opposite to him, her eyes not leaving his for a moment.

"What are you saying?" she asked, the slight change of tone in her voice rang like a fire-alarm in Lokis mind, but what he'd started he couldn't stop.

"You are no better than me" he hissed.

"I never claimed to be" she answered with a shrug "But I'm at least trying to do better."

"What you have done can never be undone" Loki continued, his voice dripping with spite "The people whom you have harmed can not be healed. There is no magic in the known universe that can cure the ills you have bestowed upon it and you are hiding from the guilt of your misdeeds by telling yourself you can balance them with good ones. That is not how it works. It does not matter who you pretend to be and how righteous that imaginary version of yourself might appear, you will always be a killer"

"You know, if that's how you reason, we should probably kill you and be done with it" Agent Romanov moved to get up from her chair "I'll take it up with Fury"

"Is that the best you can do?" Lokis smile was without humor "A dull threat of sending me off to the axe?"

"I don't feel the need to try to best you" she motioned for him to follow her out of the room "We already won"

Loki had noticed the slight shift in her voice though, a measure of uncertainty. He was pleased with that, but also horrified. He wanted her to be reminded of his knowledge, of the power he had held over her precious hawk. However, behind that desire lingered another, more treacherous one. He didn't want to feel this powerless.

* * *

><p>Immediately after returning to his cell Loki regretted antagonizing Agent Romanov. He had stuck his hands in the flame simply to see if it would burn him and now that his hand was removed unscratched he wondered if that flame might spread.<p>

He stood in the hallway, staring out the large window and thought about sending word for her, asking forgiveness and perhaps spinning some clever tale of being so overwhelmed that he had inadvertently lashed out. There was no use in that however, she would see through such empty words. That skill was the one he feared the most. Loki could handle people overpowering him, Thor had done that since they were children, but he didn't like not feeling like the smartest person in the room.

He would attempt to make amends the next time she came for him he decided and went to look at one of Helas increasingly disturbing drawings.

Loki has developed another one of those magical parenting powers since Hela started to become more articulate. With one look he would make it known to her that he disapproved of the conversation and she would hush herself. This had become a necessity since his daughter had started to talk about "the grey ones" and Loki had no intention to let the always intrusive ears of SHIELD hear her speak about creatures they could not see. He worried that it might limit her speech that he often silenced her, but the alternative might be worse. He didn't want to have to explain things to SHIELD that he himself didn't fully understand yet.

He did however allow Hela to draw what she liked and she drew The Grey frequently. Seen through a childs eyes and brought to paper by wavy lines in crude crayon shapes they were terrifying creatures. However Hela didn't seem to fear them, if anything she seemed more shy of humans than whatever faceless being she watched in the shadows.

Loki stood over her and watched as she formed the vague shape of a man with arms much too long for it's body and who had a second mouth where it's eyes should have been.

"Is this a friend of my daughter?" Loki asked, trying to keep his questions casual, should he need to answer for them later.

"No" she replied in a hush of a whisper "I have no friends"

Her small voice broke Loki's heart just a little and he had almost replied "You have me", but he stopped himself when he realized that it was the exact same thing Frigga had told him when he had offered the same observation as a child.

Loki desperately needed to speak to Agent Coulson, but he had not seen the man in months.

* * *

><p>It took so long for Agent Coulson to come to visit that Loki had started to consider calling upon Thor again, something he had vowed not to do for at least 50 years. Then, one day, the agent just showed up. A polite knock on the door (when the agent knocked it was a far different thing than when Thor knocked) announced his arrival and Loki met him in the hallway with Hela on one hip.<p>

The agent was dressed in his regular black suit and neutral smile, but his eyes were tired.

"Loki" he greeted and then smiled more genuinely at the child "Hello Hela. How are you?"

Hela didn't reply, she simply looked at the agent with huge green eyes. If Coulson minded the lack in her conversational skills he didn't let it show.

"We need to talk" he said, directing his words at Loki.

"Oh? The small amount of contemporary midgardian culture I have consumed have taught me that those words seldom forebodes anything pleasant" the trickster put Hela down and invited the agent into the small living room.

Coulson sat down in the armchair Loki usually used, so he settled himself unto the couch instead. The agents eyes scanned the room and locked on to the fancy dressed Iron Man doll proudly displayed in the half-empty bookshelf. He didn't make a comment but Loki thought he saw a small smile flash by.

"You like it here?" Coulson asked, resting his hands in his lap.

"I do not enjoy my captivity, but I know I am fortunate to have this much" Loki answered humbly and, maybe to his own surprise, truthfully.

"You are. If it wasn't for Hela we would have locked you up in the deepest hole we could find" Coulson replied casually.

"Then I owe my daughter my relative comfort as well as my sanity" Loki smiled fondly at his child, who had seated herself on the middle of the floor with her stuffed bunny.

"We need to talk about her sanity though" the agent produced a smartphone from one of his pockets.

"She is not insane" Loki replied sharply and perhaps a little too quickly. He had been preparing himself for this conversation, but it didn't take the turn he'd been expecting.

"Not yet but you can't keep a small child locked up like this. Not for ever" Coulson flipped through something on the small devices screen "She's growing. She needs to meet other people, go to school, know what grass smells like"

"You mean to take her away" Lokis voice was flat, empty of any emotion as all his feelings seemed to have gathered in his stomach.

"Not permanently. Only a handful of hours or so a week" Coulson replied "To make her ready for when she starts school in a couple of years"

"Am I right to assume that you are not asking my permission, nor that there is any discussion to be had in the matter?"

"I'm telling you what's going to happen"

"Will you be taking her when she ventures outside of these walls?" Loki asked slowly, watching his daughter watch agent Coulson.

"Maybe once or twice, but no, I won't be the one caring for her" he replied.

"Then who?"

"Sigyrn" Coulson said the same as if it should be known to Loki. It wasn't. The agent noticed Lokis confusion and helpfully added "The woman who watches Hela when you aren't here"

"Agent Romanov has never told me her name"

"I'm sure she had her reasons"

"She seems to have those in plenty" Loki murmured "Does she have mandate to…"

"Yes, she does" Coulson answered without waiting for Loki to finish. The god didn't argue though he desperately wanted to. He needed at least one agent on his side.

They sat and talked for a while. Coulson updated Loki in Fenris condition and told him that SHIELD had another non-hostile run-in with Jörmungandr but wouldn't give him any details. They spoke about Hela while the girl just kept staring at Agent Coulson, without replying to his questions like she used to a couple of months ago.

"I suspect I might have made her wary of me" the agent told Loki as he prepared to leave "It happens with human children as well, if you don't see them for a while"

"You speak often of the behaviour of human children agent" Loki replied in a low tone of voice as he accompanied Coulson to the door "Do you have children?"

"No, there's never time for that" Coulsons smile was polite but it held a hint of sadness.

"You are welcome here any time, agent. Not that you require my permission to enter" Loki replied "I am sure Hela would like to see more of you"

"Would you?" The agents question took Loki by surprise, and it took him a couple of seconds before he answered "Yes."

Coulson nodded solemnly "I'll try to visit more often" he replied and then waved to Hela "Bye bye, Hela"

She looked over at Loki and didn't reply, but using bunny-Phils stuffed arm she waved the agent off. When the agent had left Loki spun around on his feels, striding over to where Hela was seated and sank down next to her.

"You were very rude to Coulson" he said in a strict voice "Why would you not answer his greeting?"

"You do not like of when I speak with them, mother" Hela answered without meeting Lokis eyes. Instead she fiddled with the plush ear of the bunny.

"Daughter, what do you mean?" Loki took the stuffed animal away from her, forcing her to meet his gaze "Do not speak in riddles, you are too young for that"

"You do not see them, to you father?" Hela answered and her voice was hardly a whisper, Loki had to lean down to hear her "You can not see any of the Grey but Acoo"

In one quick move Loki pulled his daughter into his lap and hushed her.

"We will speak of this another time, daughter" he said, and placed a kiss upon her head.

* * *

><p>Over the next couple of days the emotionally leveled Hela seemed sad, at least according to Loki. She displayed the subtle hints known to a parent. This made him fuss over her more than usual and he was going out of his way to provide activities for her to distract her from the creatures she saw all around them. They would read, learn letters in several different galactic languages and look out the massive window into the human world below. They made up stories of the people they could see and Loki tried not to think about that his daughter would soon be out there in with them, while he was trapped as an observer in the tower.<p>

* * *

><p>One morning as Hela had breakfast Loki left her alone for the first time in days, going into his room to change from his pajama bottoms to regular pants. A split second before the shock hit him he heard the familiar hum of artificial electricity, something he had become used to from all the florescent lights in the Heli Carrier.<p>

There was no time for him to react, and whoever had designed the floor of his room must have been delighted at his habit of walking around the apartment bearfoot. From the soles of his feet the electricity climbed into his body and took possession over his muscles. Unable to control his legs he fell to the floor, receiving a second shock as his palms hit it at the same time as a large steel door appeared cover the entrance to the rest of the apartment.

The pain was intense but not unmanageable. The electric charge was not as feral as the the brutal one Thor called upon from the heavens, but it was an artificial version of the same power and it left a synthetic after-taste in his mouth. He realized this was not some sort of torture, if SHIELD wanted to discipline him with physical pain there where other methods that would have been more effective. This electrified floor simply served to incapacitate him long enough for the steel door to slide into place, effectively separating him and Hela. He tried to call her name to make sure she was all right but only saliva came out of his mouth, effectively drowning every word. As he was still struggling to find his voice there was a gentle rapping at the sturdy door.

"Don't worry, we'll be back soon" Agent Romanovs voice called from the other side, and Loki could hear the heels of her shoes clicking against the synthetic hardwood floor as she left the apartment.

We?

"Leave her be, you scheming wench!" Loki screamed at the door "Your grief is with me!"

But she was already gone, and Loki was certain she had left with his daughter.

* * *

><p>For hours that felt like an eternity Loki screamed at his invisible guards and beat his hands bloody against the steel door. When his strength ran out and pure, unguarded fear set in he resorted to pleading with whoever was listening to please do not harm his child. A couple of times he tried to collect himself, tried to pick up the pieces and calm himself, but to no success. He had antagonized the one person in the Tower whose morals could not be trusted and he had done so without a thought to the safety of his child. He loved Hela so deeply and yet he had not been able to resist an opportunity to make himself feel dangerous and relevant in the eyes of someone who had the power to hurt him. How could someone who prided himself for his wit be so foolish? Had be not been furious with himself he might have wept.<p>

Hours later when the steel-door opened Loki almost fell into the hallway, eager to search for his daughter. There was no need though, Agent Romanov stood in the living room with Helas hand in her own and an expressionless smile on her lips.

"What did you do to her?" Loki demanded.

"Nothing" the widow replied innocently "Me and Hela just looked at some pictures and had a little talk"

The agent smiled at the child and Loki wanted to feel her neck being crushed between his fingers.

"You did not show her...!"Loki didn't even want to mention the photographs.

"But I did" Romanov replied "A daughter should know what kind of man her parent is, after all"

She let go of Helas hand, but the child didn't move. Instead she remained at the agents side, staring at Loki with large, green eyes.

"You are lying" Loki whispered but the agent shook her auburn head.

Determined and unafraid Romanov closed the distance between them, stopping only inches from Loki so that they were as much face to face as possible with the height-difference. Loki wanted to murder her, right there. Even with his powers dampened he should physically be stronger than a human female, but fear stayed his hand, as well as the look in his daughters face.

"Listen to me, Loki" she started, and her voice was sweet as honey and terrible as blades "It doesn't matter who you _used_ to be. A prince, a brother, an ancient god of lies and men. All that is gone, wiped away by your own actions. This is who you are now. A prisoner. You have no power here, the only thing you have is punishment and the hope of redemption in the eyes of those who used to trust you. What you are right now, right here, that's all that matters. It's all that's real"

Her green eyes were as cold as the frozen steppes of her homeland and for the first time in his life the frost giant felt a chill down his spine. Agent Romanov seemed pleased by his reaction and left the apartment with her head un-ripped from her shoulders and without Loki uttering a word of protest.

When they were alone Hela went to sit in the window and Loki joined her. After a couple of minutes in silence he attempted to pry from her how much the agent had shown her, and how much she had understood.

"We looked at some people" Hela spoke slowly,her voice small like the rattle of sand on a breach "I got to know their names. I know that you killed them"

"In battle, child" Loki said desperate to defend himself somehow "They were warriors"

"Are we the bad guys?" Hela didn't look at him as she spoke, she watched the people below her.

"I am" Loki replied "I am the monster. You are not, daughter. Please believe that"

Hela gave no reply.

That night when they went to bed and Loki attempted to pull Hela close, as he had always done since the day he had cut her out of him, she wiggled free of his embrace and would not allow him to place an arm around her. Loki rolled over on his back, fighting back the tears as his youngest child turned away from him. He couldn't stand it. The pain in his chest was heavy, like if a rock giant attempted to crush him and he couldn't breathe.

Loki waited until Hela had fallen asleep before he slipped out of bed and into the living room. Leaned against the window he looked out over the night lights of Mnhattan, while stroking the three thick scars of his stomach that had brought his children into this world that only seemed to wish harm upon them.

What could he do, powerless and imprisoned, to make sure they would never be looked upon with hatred in this realm? Was there even a point to keep fighting? In the end, the monster always loses.

It's in their nature.

* * *

><p>Authors Note: Dark! Sorry 'bout that! So tired, can't leave long note! As always, thanks for the comments, love to read them and they keep me going with this! Oh and hey, a hint at a Jörgmundagr one-shot! How about that!<p> 


	24. Chapter 24

**Authors Notes:** Because of the reactions to the previous chapter I'm going to post the part that I decided to cut out yesterday, since I was too tired to finish it properly then and decided to end the chapter on Loki to give me time to re-write this part. More notes at the bottom.

* * *

><p>"I know you killed them"<p>

When Natasha heard Helas words in the speakers inside the monitor room that adjoined Lokis cell she didn't bother to wait for the call she would receive from Agent Coulson. There was no need for her to put it off, she knew it would come, so she just went straight to his office.  
>When she entered, uninvited, he was fuming. You could always tell when the man was furious, because he looked almost unearthly calm and spoke with a voice void of any emotion. He gestured for her to sit down opposite to him and she obeyed.<p>

"You have no right to do what you did" he started "You went behind my back, you violated a contract between SHIELD and a third party…"

"I …" he started but the look he gave her silenced her.

"She's a child. A very small child. This is not who we are, Romanov, and if you don't see that, you are not fit to be an Agent of SHIELD" his eyes never left hers "And if you're no longer an agent, I'm afraid you're a prisoner. You had contracts set up with us as well and you're in violation of them"

She waited for to make sure he was finished before she drew a shallow breath and spoke.

"I was lying. To Loki"

Coulsons expression didn't change. "Explain"

"I took Hela to the interrogation room, we looked at some photos and we talked about the people in them" she started slowly as if not to antagonize Coulson further "but I never told her anything about Loki killing them. I never even told her they were dead. If you don't believe me there's video and audio surveillance in that room, and on that entire floor. I have no idea how she knew, but she didn't get the information from me"

"Why would you do that?" Agent Coulson leaned back in his chair, his eyes still hard as steel.

"Because you ordered me to" she continued plainly "You wanted Loki to start to feel the need to redeem himself, right? He needs a shot at being a better person, but he's not going to get there by looking at pictures of people he thinks are beneath him. So I scared him. I wanted Hela to confirm that we had seen pictures and I wanted him to think about what his actions meant to her. He genuinely feels like he can't change. He basically outright said so. But I think he could, if it was for her. He just needs to want to be better. I didn't know..."

"Wait outside"

Gingerly, Natasha got up from the chair and left silently, but her hand lingered on the door-knob a little to long. She leaned against the wall outside the office, unable to relax enough to sit down in the waiting-room sofa.

"This was your idéa Phil" she muttered to herself.

* * *

><p>Agent Coulson dug deep into the many restricted folders on his computer and pulled up the security footage of Natasha and Hela. As night fell outside he followed the entire chain of events from when the floor had been electrified in Lokis room, flipping between cameras to keep up with Agent Romanov.<p>

Quiet as a shadow the widow has snuck in to the apartment, smiled at Hela and brought her outside before Loki was even on the floor. She went back in, making a lot of noise this time, and call to him through the door. Before she left the apartment she snatched up a couple of childrens books. In the corridor outside she took Helas hand and together they walked into the small interrogation room at the end of the long hallway.

They stayed there for two hours. Natasha acted like she did nothing all day except talk to small children, she was all smiles and soft words. Coulson would have expected nothing less from his best under-cover agent. They read one of Helas books and after that, Agent Romanov brought out some photos. She place one in front of Hela. Even though the security camera caught the photo at a strange angle Coulson recognized the man in the picture. George Nasir, a level 4 field agent who had once saved his life.

"Who?" Hela asked and pointed at the man in the photograph.

"This is George" Natasha answered and pointed to something in the background "And do you know what these are? These little pointy houses?" When Hela shook her head she continued "They're pyramids. Really, really old buildings that were built to honor old kings"

They continued to flip through the pictures. Agent Romanov had picked photos that had a lot of things going on in the background, vacation pictures and birthday parties. She told Hela about Egypt, Rome and Russia. For each image Hela asked the name of the person in it, and Natasha provided it without talking about them in past tense.

When Natasha got up to leave and urged Hela to do the same the child hesitated. She was picking at the photo in front of her and said something too low for Coulson and agent Romanov to hear.

"What did you say, sweetie?" Natasha asked, crouching next to Helas chair.

"Can you see them?" Hela asked, louder this time.

"See who, Hela?"

"The people in the pictures"

"Yes, they're right there, in the photo"

"Oh" Hela seemed a little bit concerned by that, but it was always hard to see what the child was feeling.

Agent Coulson had seen enough and called Agent Romanov back into his office. She watched him warily as he sat back down behind his desk, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Do you believe me?" Romanov asked, her voice tinged with uncharacteristic uncertainty.

"I do" he sighed "And I'm not sure I can be mad at you for not realizing that…" he trailed off.

"She can see dead people?"

"Yeah" Coulson replied in a tired sigh "I'm going to have to go talk to Loki"

"I'd like to be the one to talk to him first, if you don't mind, sir" Natashas words made Coulsons head snap up and meet her eyes.

"He might kill you" the agent warned.

"That's what I want to test" the Widow smiled solemnly "This is where he chooses who he'll want to be"

* * *

><p><strong>More Authors Notes: <strong>So sorry that I didn't explaining what was going on in the last chapter. I didn't intend to have anything horrible happen to Hela at the hands of adults. It was not not my intention to make anyone feel bad (about anyone's situation but Lokis, because Loki is really having a shitty couple of months). Also, sorry that this chapter is pretty poorly written. I took it out yesterday because I really wanted to re-write the discussion between Natasha and Phil, to include more of their back-story and about the things Phil have been planning for Loki since their first conversation in chapter 1, however I felt I needed to publish this asap so I tried to clean up the language the best I could and just release it. I'm going to have to work that part in later. Oh, and if you're sensitive to horror, I'm going to put a grey-warning in the beginning of any chapter that contains them from now on.


	25. Chapter 25

Loki didn't sleep.

Not that it was unusual for him not to but this night he had wished for it, anything to keep him away from his own thoughts. He tried to lay down on the couch and will himself into unconsciousness but it didn't work. Instead he was left alone with his poisonous mind and by morning, he was quite angry with Hela. After everything he had done for her, all the sacrifices he had made in order for her to be safe, she rejected him based on actions he committed years before she was even born? He knew deep down that he was angry with himself, but the blue-stained fury that was a mental after-taste of the sceptre was still at the forefront of his mind, directing his anger at anyone but himself. Foolish. But effective.

He remained in the couch when he heard Helas tiny footsteps on the hardwood floor. Loki wanted to say something, to make things better, but he had no words that would suffice and part of him wished that she would apologize for her behavior.

When Hela came around the couch he knew she was not going to say or do anything to indicate that she was sorry for the night before. For once her face was easy to read and the first expression to ever show clearly on it was anger. She had never looked quite as much like his daughter as she did in that moment, when her green eyes were hard in her slim face.

"I am hungry" she proclaimed.

"Then feed yourself, you are perfectly able" Loki spat and made no move to leave the couch.

She stared at him for another moment and behind the wall of anger Loki couldn't help but notice that her pout was adorable. Hela spun around on her heel and strode into the kitchen with all the determination a five-year old could muster. Loki listened as she pulled a chair around, trying to reach things and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. He was being foolish, a manchild, worse than his brother had ever been. She was not Thor, nor Odin or any other person Loki felt had ever wronged him or treated him unfairly. She was his daughter, his youngest, the one he got to keep. No matter the cost, or if she loved him or not, Loki would always look out for her.

"Wait" he called and quickly got to his feet "I will not have you break your neck"

"I would not fall" Hela replied as harshly as her tiny voice would allow.

"Your confidence is admirable but I will not risk it nonetheless" he couldn't quite get the harsh sting out of his voice "Remove yourself counter immediately"

Hela refused to look at him and instead continued to attempt to scoop pine needles from the plastic container to the bowl she had produced from the dishrack. Loki was conflicted between to stand back and monitor her to make sure she didn't hurt herself or simply lift her down from the counter and tell her to do what he told her to, risking the situation to become even uglier.

He never had to make a decision, because at that very moment The Black Widow appeared in the doorway, silent as a shadow. He felt her presence before he saw her. Loki slowly turned and stared at her, his mouth slightly ajar, like a snake tasting the air for prey.

"Have you lost your wit, woman?" he asked, very slowly, very sincerely "Or do you believe I am in leave of mine?"

"No, not really" She shrugged casually, but every muscle in her body was tense, ready to react if he would make a move "You seem better than last night"

"You come to mock?" Lokis voice was so low it was barely anything more than a dangerous rumble in his chest.

He wanted to snap her neck, right there. One more to add to her collection of photos, what would it matter? The thoughts were feverish and lined with shimmering blue, urging him on, to revoke reason and just kill her. Not to mind the cameras, or Hela, or everything he would destroy, just to act on the impulse to harm her.

"Leave" he growled.

"I came to warn you" Romanov started but Loki interrupted her

"I am giving YOU fair warning" he was gripping the counter so hard his knuckles were turning white "Leave. Now. If I hear another word from your evil, poisonous…"

"Coulson knows" the agent cut in, speaking fast "I never told Hela what you did. I lied about that"

Loki was on her faster than she could have imagined. During his entire life tricks and speed was the only things he had been able to use to his advantage over the often far stronger aesir. The dagger had been his weapon of choice because of how fast it could be wielded, how elegantly it cut the air, compared to crude swords or axes. A lifetime of training might have saved agent Romanov from most foes, but Loki had also had a lifetime to prepare and his exceeded hers with millenia.

He didn't go for her neck when he grabbed her. He didn't pick up a knife to cut her flesh. He didn't fling her across the room, which he might still have the strength to do. He had the opportunity to do all of it but Loki had restrained himself. Instead he grabbed her jacket, almost lifting her off her feet as he brought his face close to hers. When he was pressed against her he felt taller than he looked and ten times more dangerous. His green eyes were almost aflame in their sockets, the twisted look on his face made him look like the deranged god she remembered from their first encounter. For a moment, agent Romanov thought she had gravely misjudged the situation.

"Agent Romanov" his voice was like pitch black waves of icy water slashing against stone "If you think I fall for feeble trickery…"

"She is telling the truth, father" Helas tiny voice broke through to Loki, it rang louder than the warhorns of Asgard in his mind, silencing the roar of his anger.

"Then how did you know?" his voice was still nothing more than the promise of cold and darkness, but some of the madness had faded from his eyes.

Hela seemed remarkably unphased by the drama playing out in front of her where she sat on the counter, idly picking at pine-needles.

"You know" she replied silently "You just want me to hush about it"

Hela turned her head away, her long hair spilling over the counter as she hid her face behind it's raven black curtain and added "You are afraid of me"

"What?" Loki released his hold on agent Romanov, his rage drained out of him in a second - compared to Hela the widow was so unimportant "Why would you believe that?"

"Because you hush me" Helas voice was thick in her throat "You hush me all the time. You fear my words. You fear the truth"

"Child, that is not…"

"Loki" how could agent Romanov be so foolish as to try to get his attention at this point? She was lucky not to be in pieces all over the kitchen floor.

"Give me a minute and I'll kill the ears. Give you some time alone for once"

Before Loki could snap at her, or simply snap her, she was out the door and gone. Loki took his time to walk over to Hela and pick her up. She didn't resist him, but she refused to look at him. He carried her back into the living room and sat them both down on the armchair that had become his favorite piece of furniture. He didn't trust Agent Romanov to keep her word but he didn't care if SHIELD was listening in. He needed to be able to talk to Hela properly for once in their lives.

"There, daughter" he said softly, brushing her hair behind one ear "Speak those words. I promise will not silence you"

Hela quickly looked up at him, her huge eyes wet with unshed tears and she drew breath before she started:

"The Grey. I see them all the time. I hear their voices. I understand some of what they say" Hela gathered up a handful of her own hair in her hands as she looked for the proper words "It is like… when you look into a window in the dark and there is a see-through version of the world there. Like that, but three, four see-through worlds all in one. Like drawings on the walls. But moving. I thought you could see them too, but you can only see Acoo"

"He is one of the Grey?" Loki urged on as the child fell silent in his arms.

"He is in two of the worlds" Hela replied in her tiny voice "Like me"

"Like your father" Loki said softly and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"But then why can you not see them?" she asked, confused.

"Your other father. The one who made you with me"

"I have another father?" Hela looked up at him, green eyes huge.

Suddenly Loki realized he had never explained the dynamics of a family to his daughter, he had never paid it any mind. Her books all spoke of mothers and fathers as different people, of parents as a set of two, and he had simply assumed that she had understood the distinction between them. Now, suddenly he realized that she might never have made the connection, since she referred to him as both mother and father. Loki had never bothered to correct her on that point. He would always call himself her mother, because he'd carried her, but from the agents around her she had picked up "father" (even in old norse, as fadir was her first name for him) and he had never corrected her. He had never cared which gendered version of 'parent' she used. This was not Asgard and this was his fourth child. He would no longer shy away from the fact that he birthed them in fear of ridicule as he had done with Sleipnir.

"Yes, you have another father, Heid, I have told you stories of her. You carry her name." Loki replied, slightly startled that he might have been too subtle in his tales of his lover. He never wanted to give out many details because of the ever-present SHIELD ears. "She was also of two worlds. She was dead and then alive, like you. Like Acoo"

"Because you killed Acoo too" Helas face was once again hard to read, a puzzle of blank expressions.

"Yes. I did" Loki admitted, his heart pounding in his chest "I ended his life without a second thought, I killed him only out of spite for my brother, just to see the expression on Thors face, to… revel in his misery. I killed a good man, because I hated another good man"

By the end, Lokis voice was thick, his eyes had never before admitted to anyone how puny his ambitions had been, how most of his actions had been powered by spite. Had been. Past tense.

"Do you resent me, daughter?" he asked, his voice almost as small as hers "You have the right"

"Everything dies, father" Hela replied simply, shrugging "I see it in everyone, all the time. Everyone is dying. Even the sun. Even you"

"And this does not scare you?" It scared Loki a little.

"Why should I fear the natural and inevitable?" Hela shrugged.

"Then why were you cross with me?" Loki was baffled by the turn in the conversation, not to mention how his daughters vocabulary seemed to mature by every sentence she spoke. He had to remind himself to ask her about that when another opportunity presented itself, but right now this was more important.

"Because I know that in the stories people are sad for the dead and angry at the killers" Hela looked away as she spoke, out into the transparent worlds only she could see "But I feel no sadness for them. I see the faces in the pictures and I know that they are dead by your hand, but I feel nothing" her voice became more hushed as she spoke the final words "In the stories only the monsters feel nothing"

"Listen to me Hela" Loki said, turning her face up so she met his eyes "The stories you've heard are human stories, and they are not truths. No child of mine is a monster, no matter what the bards of old might tell of them. You are who you choose to be"

Hela looked at him for a long time, before reaching up and wrapping her thin, long arms around his neck. She buried her face in his hair and from the raven-colored mess she whispered

"Then, when I grow up, I choose to be a fireman"

* * *

><p>When night fell once more, Loki was emotionally exhausted. He had hardly even noticed that the day had come and gone. Hela and he had sat in silence together at the window, or talked about the Grey and he had told Hela about Asgard, Frigga and about the ghost stories about Ice Giants he heard as a child.<p>

When he thought back at it, he realized it had never been Frigga or any member of his family who had told those stories. It had been handmaidens and warriors, and they had often received scornful looks and probably a harsh word from Frigga when the children were out of earshot. He should have taken more care with the stories he allowed Hela to read or have read to her. He should have made sure they didn't mention death. It's what Frigga would have done, she would have known, she would have been able to give counsel if he had allowed the end of the day it was too much. He put Hela to bed early and then went back into the living room to try and sort out his thoughts.

* * *

><p>The last thing he wanted at that moment was company from Agent Coulson. When the metal door slid open Loki didn't even bother to turn his head to see who it was. He knew. The agent didn't bother with the courtesy of announcing himself, a breach of etiquette seldom seen in the man. Instead he walked over to the couch and sat down next to Loki, placing two glasses and a bottle of some midgardian alcohol on the table. From the smell of him the agent had already sampled it. He poured two generous drinks and slid one along side the table to place it in front of Loki. After that he leaned back with his own glass in hand and drank rather deeply.<p>

"So, you killed me" the agent said casually.

"I tore your heart in two with an alien blade which full destructive capacity is unknown even to me" Loki answered without looking at the man "I would assume that a wound like that would end your life"

"Yeah, me too" Coulson said solemnly.

The silence that fell wasn't an uncomfortable one, both men were simply too tired to make it awkward. Instead they both sipped their drinks next to each other on the couch, watching the night overtake Manhattan.

"I don't know why I'm not dead" Coulson finally said, staring out into the night.

"I am afraid I can offer no explanation" Loki replied, following the agents gaze into the night "But whatever the reason, I am glad my murderous act did not permanently kill you"

"Me too" the casual-looking man agreed "But it's disturbing to not know"

"Ignorance is probably not something you are accustomed to"

"Are you?"

"My mother once said I was only ignorant about myself" Loki started and then realized he had accidentally mislabeled Frigga for the first time since he found out about her lies.

"She's right"

"You assume to know me" It wasn't a question.

"I've watched you around the clock for years. So yeah, I think I can at least read you. Does that annoy you?"

"Yes but, as with so many things, me being annoyed with a statement does not make them untrue"

"True"

Loki turned to look at the agent at the same time as Coulson favoured him with one of his seldom seen genuine smiles. It would have been so easy for Loki to just lean over, to use this height and the length of his arms to his advantage. It would have been so easy to forget how alone he was in this realm, just for a moment. Maybe their eyes held for a moment too long, or maybe the agent could read him better than he though, because without breaking eye contact Coulson softly said: "Don't"

"Kill you again?" Loki filled in, but there was no hostility in his voice, only the hint of warmth usually reserved for Hela.

"We both know that's not what you were thinking"

"'We', agent" Loki smiled, and Coulson understood the implication of the word.

"They would take me off your case, Loki" agent Coulson said, looking out the window "And I've invested too much time in this. Way too much"

"So have I" Loki answered solemnly.

"Are you hinting at breaking out?" Coulson asked, his tone still softened by alcohol and emotion.

"Quite the opposite" Loki replied, finishing his drink "Or maybe I'm brilliantly laying a false trail of lies and loyalty, pretending to change. I am the trickster and not even I would trust my word"

"Then trust mine" agent Coulson offered.

"I will do my out most" Lokis eyes were an intense green as he fixated the agent "But I believe we both have to earn that back"

"You're right about that" Coulson seemed vary to continue and whatever was on the tip of his tongue, he left it unsaid. Instead, he rose from the couch and headed for the door, a soft "Good night, Loki" his only word of departure.

"Good night, Phil" Loki replied as he heard the door shut behind him.

* * *

><p>Loki stayed on the couch a little while longer, watching the darkness deepen as the lights flickered out across Manhattan.<p>

The city that never slept still offered specks of electrical light even at the early hours of the morning, like an artificial night sky they sparkled across the flat darkness of the glass buildings. Loki thought that in a different life, where he had made very different choices, he would have enjoyed this city. It lacked the grandeur of Asgard, it was simpler, cruder and yet more alive that the golden towers of his home. It was less polished, more nuanced, mixing the dirt from the streets with the noise from luxury cars, all bathed in light cast down from building standing as a testament to wealth, towering over poor and rich alike. This is where Hela would grow up. This is the world she would know.

Loki regretted nothing in that moment, not a single choice he had made, because it had led up to this: his daughter would be allowed to grow up in a world where a person's measure were not in their blood, or found in prophecy, but something they could choose. Hela would be free to be anyone.

There was still time to choose.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Notes;<strong> MAAAN that took time, didn't it? Sorry about that, between family matters, the lectures I'm holding and work there haven't been that much time left for me to write. Also, I really wanted to get this chapter right because it's going to be important for both Hela, Loki and Coulson (and maybe Nat) going forward. It was kind of hard to get a grip of how Hela sees the world, I've actually talked about the viking view of the after life and how they view ghosts with a professor in Viking culture that we have as a consultant for a project at work (I make videogames, yay!). She told me a bit about the merging of realms, which is more about old folklore than norse mythology really, and how it was supposed to manifest itself in "dual" worlds, and then I tried to merge that with the Hela we know from the marvel-verse (which was just... ugh). So yeah, that was some major research for just a Fanfic-chapter. I actually have an ending in mind for this now. And you still haven't gotten that Jörmungandr-spoof I wrote months ago. But ah, I'm rambling! As always, thanks for the reviews and sorry for taking so long to update.


	26. Chapter 26

Authors Note: Sorry about the hiatus, here's a rather short dialogue-heavy chapter that doesn't have any Loki at all just to prove I'm still on this.

* * *

><p>"He didn't kill you"<p>

"Good morning to you to" Natasha greeted Capitan America as she poured a cup of coffee that smelled like it had been standing on the boilerplate for at least an hour too long. Stark probably made it before he went to bed, which was probably an hour ago by his standards. She took a sip and turned to face Steve, who was looking at her over the top of the morning newspaper. She sighed dramatically and leaned against the kitchen counter.

"Not that look, it's too early" she complained and gestured towards his face "That's your 'Son, sit down' 1930s step-dad-look"

"Young lady, I will not have you talk to me like that!" Steve reprimanded sternly and they shared a brief smile before the captains face once again turned serious.

"Nat.."

"Oh lord, you're going to want to talk about it for real, aren't you?"

"You got that right" Steve pushed out the chair opposite to his "Take a seat"

Natasha lingered at the counter for a moment, looking much younger than her years in her defiance before she finally sighed and sat down.

"I've already gotten multiple earfuls from Coulson, as well as been threatened with having my SHIELD-status revoked" she started, holding Hawkeyes favorite purple cup almost defensively in front of her mouth as she spoke "What do you have to add?"

"How about 'What were you thinking'?" Steve suggested as he neatly put down the newspaper.

"Coulson already did that one"

"Indulge me"

"Funny, Coulson said that too" she cocked her head as she spoke "I wonder if he's starting to copy how you talk, or if you're starting to copy him. Either way, you guys should probably hang out more, you seem to have lot's in common"

"Nat, I know I can't get you to talk if you don't want to. Heck, I'm not sure anyone could get you to talk" Steve leaned over the table, folding his hands in front of him "I'm not interrogating you here, I'm asking. As a friend"

"What do you want me to say?" Natasha asked, and the question was sincere "Seriously I genuinely want you to tell me what to say, cap, 'cause I don't know"

"I want you to be honest" Steve said, his voice filled with concern and his eyes never leavin her face.

"Yeah, see, that's where we've got a problem. You're the honest one. You're the good one. Not me" before he could protest she got up from the table and left to hide in her rooms.

* * *

><p>"You got my mug. My best mug. That mug right there. That's the best one" Clint pointed at the mug in her hands as if he'd not been clear enough which one he'd been referring to.<p>

"It's purple" he continued while entering Natashas room exercising his standing invitation "I like purple. It's calming"

"I think so too" the redhead replied while eyeing Clint as he limped over to her and practically fell across her small sofa "How come after Avengers-missions you come back with a band-aid on your face but every time you go play landlord in that apartment building of yours you come back here looking like you got hit by a car?"

"Wasn't a car" Clint mumbled with his face down into a pillow "It was a motorcycle this time. And a steel pipe swung from another motorcycle. My neighborhood is crap"

Without lifting his face up from the pillow he stretched his arm backwards, towards Natasha and she handed him the mug with her half-finished, way too strong, now basically ice-cold coffee. Somehow, in a move only Clint Barton could ever hope to achieve, he managed to shot the sad remnants of coffee without ever lifting his head. They used to joke about that gulping down caffeine was probably his mutant power.

"So what's up? I mean like, emotion-wise?" Clint asked as he adjusted himself not to have her knees pushing into his sore ribs.  
>"Not you to"<p>

"Yes me, you can't expect me to ignore THIS" Clint replied, waving his mug in front of her face "You always steal my mugs when you want attention. It's like your batsignal for emotional crappy stuff"

Natasha thought about disagreeing with him, but it was true. It was part of this secret system of codes that they had developed during their time at SHIELD, the small ways for two emotionally crippled individuals to tell each other things aren't alright without actually having to say anything.  
>She pulled up her still pyjama-clad legs and rested her chin on her knees, staring out into the room basking in early morning light.<p>

"I told a little girl that the only person in the world she considered family is a murderer" she stated, and as always when she was emotional about a subject her Russian accent crept in to the words.

"You didn't technically tell her that" Clint replied softly.

"Technicality doesn't matter when the result is the same"

"What is the result?"

"That she's going to have to evaluate everything in her life based around this person who shares her blood, and weigh every action she takes against those of his" she turned her head to meet Clints eyes "Such a thing, it can turn people very bad"

"It can also make them want to do better. Make them heroes"

"You and cap, you're the same" Natasha smiled "You have this light within you, that stupid drive that just makes you want to do good. Not all people are like that"

"That doesn't mean everyone else is bad, Tasha. Just means they have fewer broken ribs" Clint sat up and rubbed his head, messing up his already messy hair in the process "Why did you do it? Not tell her I mean, I understand why her figuring it out was a big deal for you, but you didn't have any intention of doing that, but you did have an intention with Loki. What was it?"

When Natasha didn't answer he pressed on, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Come on, you're not a super-solider like cap or an idiot like me, you had a plan going in. Tell me"

"I wanted him to see how he would react" Natasha started, fingering the image of a fluffy cloud on her bright blue flannel pants "I wanted Loki to realize that deep down, he's ashamed of what he did here. I wanted him to make the conscious decision to be… better. For her. And..."

She stopped, looking over Clints bruising face like it was the map of a drop point and she was trying to determine which road to take. The archer knew better than to stress her in situations like this, so he waited patiently while she decided upon the words.

"And… I went in, when he was angry and dangerous and very scary frankly, because I wanted to know that it could be beaten. That madness inside him, he can beat it down, he doesn't have to act on it"

"Which would mean I can beat it down as well" Clint finished and Natasha nodded solemnly.

"Don't get me wrong, I mainly did it because I have orders from Coulson to try to get under Lokis skin, to try to push his buttons, but I also wanted to know how strong the staffs hold was"

"It was pretty bad" Clint said, the memory of the mind control like a sour after taste in his mouth. Or maybe that was just the brunt coffee.

"Wait a minute, how do you know about the residue of the staff influence, or whatever Banner is calling it?" Hawkeye sat up, eyeing her suspiciously "Where you spying on me on the Hella Carrier?"

"I was spying on you on the Hella Carrier" she admitted "I heard everything you and Loki said. And I've kept up to date with the SHIELD research as well. Because I...well… I worry. About you"

"Because I'm stupid?" Clint smiled, and said 'stupid' like it was a word that meant something completely different.

"Very, very stupid" Natasha smiled and used the word in the exact same way.

"When it comes to Hela, I don't think you have to worry about her. She's taking the whole thing… extra-terrestrialy well" Clint said reassuringly.

"And how do you know that?"

"Because I go down there sometimes, to the monitor room and just… watch him, you know? I just want to know he's… there"

"That's he's safely behind bars?" Natasha filled in even though she didn't expect that to be the full answer.

"Yeah, sure. That's a big part of it"

"You know for a moment on the Hella Carrier I thought you might kiss him" Natasha smiled.

"He seems to have that effect on people, doesn't he?" Clint joked.

"Not me" the redhead replied "Every time I'm in the same room as him I keep thinking 'God I hope this isn't the guy who kills me'"

"Huh, maybe it's a guy-thing then" Clint shrugged and then continued "Hey, so how do you imaged the guy who finally does you in looks like? I'm thinking something simple, like a low-life thug with a face-tattoo that just get's a lucky shot in with like a plank or something"

"That would be so you" Natasha smiled "I thought it would be a bit more elegant, like in an old, black and white movie, with a tall person in a trench coat who just keeps monologueing before he finally guns me down!

They sat close together on the small, soft couch, swapping stories of potential more or less graceful ways to die until Steve passed by and interrupted them by asking what they were giggling about.

* * *

><p>While all this was going on, Loki started his day by slipping on a fresh piece of ice in the living room of his cell and thus rather abruptly discovered his daughter had inherited magic.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Notes:<strong> Sorry for the late update and the very Loki-light chapter. I had this lying around because I wanted to do some more stuff with Natasha and Clint, and I thought I'd publish it for good measure considering it was about a month since my last update. Hopefully I'll have more time to write now as there's not so much LIFE getting in the way!  
>I'm also basically introducing Helas magic because I have one joke I would like to make, and that is totally a valid reason to derail something that was already derailing quite badly, right? Right!<p> 


	27. Chapter 27

Warning: Brief mention of sex in this chapter, folks!

* * *

><p>"It is an impossible task, it can not be done!" Loki paced the length of the living room for the tenth time, looking about as menacing and deranged as he had done during the attack on New York. Well, almost as menacing. He wasn't smiling this time. And he was wearing sweatpants.<p>

"I'm sure every parent feels this way at one point" Agent Coulson said soberly from his standard position behind the couch, hands folded in front of him and an expressionless smile on his lips.

"I can not teach her magic without access to my own. It is like attempting to teach the nuances of the sunset as a blind man"

"A blind man who lost his sight later in life might be able to do that"

"Do not mock! The sunset is ever-changing, one is never identical to the other and is it the same with magic. A blind man could tell you the basic parts of a sunset, but he can never give justice to its splendor! I am made blind by this, Agent!"

Loki jerked the metal around his neck, angrily digging his fingers underneath the cold metal, scratching long, red marks on his skin in the process.

"I'm not mocking Loki, I'm trying to help" Coulson replied calmly "You simply have to be… inventive"

"If you would simply allow me, if only for a moment…"

"Out of the question" the agent cut him off, his voice nothing but official government bureaucrat "That stays on as long as you serve your sentence. After that, it's up to Asgard"

"Then you will deny my child even a chance" Loki was furious, his green eyes ablaze "If she doesn't learn how to control this she will never be able to live safe in your pitifully backwards human society"

"Loki, please listen to me, carefully" Agent Coulson placed his hands on the back of the sofa, locking his blue eyes with the gods and spoke very slowly as to make his point clear "I'm trying to help you. If you can't find a way to teach Hela, we will have to find someone who can. No matter where that someone might be"

Loki realized the agent didn't mean it as a threat, still it rang like one in his ears. He understood. If he didn't figure out a way to help Hela, they were going to take her away from him. He wouldn't have it. She was too young.

Loki had never been a patient man, unless it had something to do with a long-running scheme. He could wait for weeks, years, for the result he wanted if it was just about that; waiting, planning, watching it all play out. Having to deal with other people was an entirely different matter. Years of having to handle Tony Starks incessant questions about Asgardian technology had prepared him somewhat for tutoring Hela, but there was one notable difference between teaching his child and attempting to teach the man-child: he couldn't keep himself entertained by insulting Hela. It was frustrating.

It was also a reminder of his captivity. Loki was no fool, he realized this apartment-cell was something usually reserved for political prisoners, not men who tries to lay waste to a major metropolitan city using an invading army, and he was probably lucky not to spend his hundred-year sentence in a hole in the ground. The accommodations had never been the biggest issue for Loki, he could be placed in the tiniest, dirtiest cell on the planet and he still would have felt superior, like the demi-god he was. However, the metal collar around his neck was horrible, leaving him weak, drained and at the mercy of lesser creatures. It cut him off from a part of himself that he had taken for granted for decades.

"It is good that you have your tricks, or you would be useless in battle"

He couldn't recall who had said the words so long ago. Maybe Thor, maybe one of his warrior-friends, priding themselves in the art of swinging a sharpened object at somebodys head and declaring it more impressive than twisting the fabric of reality to their liking. And now he was without it, that place inside of him where the power used to reside almost empty after years of being cut off from it source, whatever it was.

He cringed and gritted his teeth behind Helas back when she miscast the simplest spell, even if he only spoke words of encouragement. Watching Hela fail at magic was like watching her spilling a glass of water over and over again when he was parched from thirst.

* * *

><p>After a week Loki was delighted when Captain America showed up to take Hela outside for the day. Normally such a thing would have made Loki skittish and paranoid, but now he welcomed it. He also felt Hela was safe in the company of the super-soldier, since the man was so predictably ethical and would never steal a child away from their parents.<p>

"It's pretty cold outside" Rogers informed Loki where he stood leaned against the hallway wall, dressed casually in jeans and a shirt that seemed several sizes too small.

"Do you wish me to act upon this information or are you simply making idle smalltalk?" Loki asked as he handed Hela a thermos with a mixture of blood, whole wheat and goatmilk which she promptly placed in her Spider-man backpack. Loki hated that backpack, but Hela loved it to no end so he couldn't get rid of it. It had been a gift from Stark and Loki assumed he should probably count himself lucky that it didn't have the mans metallic second face plastered on it.

"I thought maybe she should wear a jacket" Rogers clarified, smiling down at the girl who gave him what for her counted as a beaming smile in return. Hela loved her outings with Rogers, they'd become a frequent thing in the latest months. Agent Coulson had assured Loki that they went to secure locations and that Hela was in no danger whatsoever. After the first time Loki had been worried sick and was set on insisting that this injustice was never repeated again, but when Hela came back she was so delighted about the outing that he hadn't had the heart to deny her a second one. And a third. And so on.

"We are not bothered by what you mortals perceive as cold" Loki tried to sneak some hostility into his voice, but failed. He was excited to have some time alone to feel properly frustrated about the magic-situation, something he didn't want to do in front of Hela.

"Maybe not but I thought she might like one anyway"

"I would, mother!" Helas voice was filled with quiet excitement, something rather unusual for her.

"You do not require one" Loki protested but he had no desire to argue. Instead he pulled a tiny jacket down from a peg on the hallway wall.

"Wear this then. But no hats" he said as he helped her into the piece of clothing. Rogers chuckled and when Loki eyed him he elaborated;

"This is like the opposite of every parent/child-conversation about the need for jackets" the super-soldier smiled. Loki didn't bother to reply.

"I'll have her back in a couple of hours" Rogers promised as he grabbed Helas outstretched hand and started moving through the door into the small room behind it.

"See that you do" Loki replied as he tried to ignore the sting of jealousy he felt at how eagerly his child accompanied what used to be the enemy. The captain had never been Helas enemy of course. Just his. The soldier had been the first person ever to ask Loki the name of his child, and for this the trickster felt a speck of gratitude towards the man. Sometimes he was amazed at the kindness humans seemed capable of, sometimes terrified by it.

* * *

><p>He didn't have the energy to brood during this precious alone-time. He was exhausted from trying to think of ways to aid Hela and as soon as she was out the door, he ended up on his bed. He was halfway through a strange dream when the sound of the metal door to his apartment-cell sliding open awoke him. He got up and walked out, expecting to find the captain and Hela returning early, only to see the the shape of Helen the guard at the end of the small hallway.<p>

"Make haste" the short woman said, quickly walking up to him where he stood frozen "There is not much time"

Her small, well-manicured hands reached up to touch the dreadful collar cutting Loki off from his magic, but he caught her wrists mid-air.

"What is your intent, coming here?" he asked sharply and she gave him a smile in return.

"I am staging a daring escape" she replied, entwining her fingers with his briefly before she attempted to reach for his collar again "Let me get this chain off you"

For a second, he was willing to let her try to remove the awful thing, to feel the might of his power return to him again. But then he remembered the cost of such actions. Too high, much too high. Loki jerked his head back and since he was nearly two heads taller than the woman it sufficed to make sure she did not touch the black metal.

"Hela is not here, you must know I would not leave her behind" Loki said and his voice was softer now "Nor would I expect you to have her stay here with humans"

"I would not" the woman smiled "We would claim her when they came to return her here, but you need your strength for that."

"What of Fenris? What of Jörmungandr?" Loki asked, hindering her from trying to undo his bonds by covering her hands with his own.

"They are old and large enough to fend for themselves" the short woman shrugged.

"Please understands, I have sworn vows that protect them and Hela alike. I will not break my oath. I will not escape with you" Loki ran his hand through the short, brown hair "Heid, I can not leave this place"

She gave him a look that he knew from centuries with her, but which was also completely alien in this new face.

"You are angry with me"

"Not angry Loki, furious" she sighted, smoothing out his shirt over his shoulders "This took some elegance and planning to pull off and you would rather stay in this cage with our child than leave with me"

"What life would she have if I came with you?" he asked softly, stroking her arms "We would be hunted across the nine realms. Here, she has a fighting chance of growing up with some stability. Stay. Stay on as this guard, be with her as she grows"

Heid shook her head slowly.

"I could never live like this" she replied "I would go mad within the week. And the woman called Helen actually exist, she was with you in the first year of incarceration. I have simply borrowed her shape while she is away visiting relatives. It is not a permanent solution. After this I need to leave"

"However brief, it is very nice to see you" Loki said softly as he kissed her. The taste of her was familiar, but it always held a hint of something new every time she changed her shape.

"If you will not escape with me, I suggest we spend these few moments we have wisley" her smile was crooked and mischievous, it was the first thing he had ever noticed about her centuries ago "If this human body suffices for such activities"

"You have yet to take a form I did not find appealing" Loki smiled as he pulled her close "And I must say it is quite thrilling to be taller than you for once"

"You will still not be allowed to be on top" she said as she traced her hands inside his shirt and leaned in for another kiss.

Though her hands were new her touch was familiar and Loki reveled in it. The minutes were precious and they ended up on the hardwood floor of the hallway, half-clothed and eager as teenagers.

"They have recording equipment" Loki pointed out as Heid moved off him to place her head briefly upon his shoulder "I am surprised no one has come yet"

"Who do you think is supposed to watch the cameras?" Loki could hear Heids crooked smile even when he could not see her face "Good girl Helen covers a shift alone as her colleagues daughter had some sort of emergency at school"

"You astound me" Loki murmured and placed a kiss on top of her head.

"I think your time spend in a human cage has made you easily impressed" Heid smiled as she sat up and started to button up her SHIELD-uniform. As she stood up Loki remained on the floor for just a couple of extra seconds to drink in the image of her towering over him.

"Know this Loki" the giantess started as he escorted her to the door "I can not come for you again, and if you are taken back to Asgard as a prisoner, I will not be able to free you without provoking a war"

"I know this, Heid, but my decision is made" he replied and added "I regret Hela will not know you growing up. She takes after you"

"Then tell her stories of me, so that she may know me through them" Heid replied and pulled Loki down for a final kiss before she used her magic to open the locked door and shut it behind her.

Her scent lingered in the apartment for hours before finally fading.

* * *

><p>Loki was sitting in the window when the door slid opened for the third time that day. As soon as he saw Agent Coulsons face he knew something had gone wrong.<p>

"Where is Hela?" he asked, abruptly standing up as Coulson strode across the living room floor.

"Not here" Coulson replied sharply and pointed to the apartments only armchair "Sit. We need to talk about your recent escape-attempt"

"To what end…"

"Sit!" Coulson commanded and the trickster obeyed. Loki had though he had seen the agent mad. He had not. It was quite terrifying, his plain face was like a fragile mask covering rage and determination.

"You are in breach of contract, Mr. Laufeyson"Agent Coulson made an impressive silhouette against the massive window "I hope I don't need to remind you what's going to happen"

"I was not attempting an escape" Loki defended.

"Your lady-friend was very convincing, but she didn't make it out of the building" Coulson said coldly "The devil is in the details. We might have believed her story of lonely Helen, who had fallen in love with an inmate and took an opportunity when offered, if it hadn't been for her very articulate english" When Loki didn't make the connection he continued "Contractions, Mr. Laufeyson. Asgardians have a tendency not to use them, most other people do. Especially guards from the bronx"

Loki said nothing in reply and after a couple of seconds Agent Coulson produced a phone from one of his suit pockets and held the screen up for Loki to see. A contact named 'Breach' was visible and was accompanied with a twelve-digit number.

"If I call this number, everything ends" Coulson explained and weighted the phone in his hand "Hela will never return here, and neither will you, since I have agreed to hand you over to Thor in case anything like this would happen. Fenris will get kicked out of the school and Jörmungandr will be left in the ocean to starve as the fish dies off in his waters"

"You have already threatened me with all this Agent. Why have you not done it yet?" Loki asked silently.

"Because I want to know how the FUCK you could be this stupid!" Coulson had never raised his voice to Loki before.

"This was not by my design, agent" Loki assured "But what can I say,or do, that will convince you of that? It is what you wish for, yes? Not for all your work to be forfeited?"

"I want you not to ruin everything!" The agents words caught Loki by surprise "I want you NOT to make Hela an orphan stranded on a strange planet because YOU decided you could not be bothered to answer for you actions"

"Agent, I was not going to escape. I was tempted, yes, but I would not have gone ahead with it" Loki assured.

"There is no way of trusting your word in this matter" Coulsons piercing blue eyes were sharp as swords.

"Then trust your beloved logic" Loki offered, slowly getting up from the chair as if not to provoke the agent further "My people live thousands of years,a century is nothing to me. A mere heartbeat. One where I will be bored and inconvenienced, surely, but still only an insignificant amount of my lifespan. If you will not trust my word" he walked up to the agent so that they were eye-to-eye "then trust my cunning. Running at this point gains me nothing"

They started at each other in silence, blue steel meeting green flame. Without breaking eye-contact Agent Coulson pocketed the phone again and Loki noticed he'd forgotten to breathe.

"What about Hela?" he asked and the agent sighed as well, rubbing his forehead.

"She'll be returned to you shortly"

"Thank you, agent"

"This is the only time when I am going to give you the benefit of a doubt" Coulsons voice was dangerous, the man in front of Loki seemed so different from the one he had shared a drink with a couple of weeks back "Everyone deserves second chances but you've had yours served up on a silver plate already. There will be no more of them"

"I understand" Loki replied solemnly "I am sorry if I angered you, agent. It was not my intention…"

to hurt you, he'd almost said. And he realized it was true. A part of him had not wanted to fight his way out with Heid because that way would certainly, at one point, be guarded by Agent Phil Coulson. As the agent left for the door, Loki could not help himself.

"Since you have not asked why_ I_ have not asked what your intentions are with Heid, you must already have figured out the answer" he stated, as kindly as possible.

"Yes"

"Do not feel bad. Not even the mighty prisons far beneath the halls of Odin could hold her for more than minutes"

* * *

><p>Authors Notes: So I know it's been a while, and I'm sorry about that. It's probably going to be a while before the next update as well since I'm off on vacation and occupied by some other stories at the moment. I haven't forgotten about Loki and his kids though and I intend to finish this. Right now I'm mostly struggling with getting the story back where I want it. I've had this piece with Heid laying around for months, it just never fitted into the story, but I thought after such a long hiatus Loki deserved something nice (and Coulson needed to be angry about something). What would you like to happen next? I have a pretty good idéa of where I want this to end up, but it would be fun to hear your suggestions, if you have any!<p> 


	28. Chapter 28

During the next couple of days Agent Coulson was more angry with Loki than he had any reason to be. Even Fury had taken the breach of the perimeter with fewer swears than the usually collected agent and the director was mainly concerned with a shapeshifter being able to walk around unnoticed among the staff for so long. Coulson, however, was mostly angry with Loki. He hoarded his anger like it was precious collectibles, stacking the emotion high, not wanting to really feel that which huddled behind it, just far enough out of reach that the agent could still ignore it.

Loki noticed the agent keeping his distance, and his usual casual tone being tinged with bitterness those brief sessions when they spoke. For some reason it made the trickster smile.

* * *

><p>Something that didn't make the demigod smile however was his continued failure at teaching his daughter magic. He simply didn't have the patience to make her understand the complex things that used to come so easy to him when he wielded the power, since he'd had centuries of practice. And, Loki, had to admit, a rather excellent teacher in Frigga.<p>

After exhausting every other possibility, including asking Hela to confer with The Grey to see if there was anything they could teach her, Loki did something he thought he would never do again.

He wrote his adoptive mother.

"_To her Majesty the Queen of Asgard,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. However, since you consider yourself to be very knowledgeable of me and my ways, I believe you will quickly see through such shallow polite greetings. I do not write to exchange pleasantries._

_My daughter has a talent for magic and I have no talent to teach it. What I ask I ask for her sake and not my own; any advice you could provide to aid her in her studies would be appreciated."_

The word "appreciated" had been written slightly different than the rest of the letter, signifying a pause as Loki had stopped his hand to choose the word carefully. Frigga would undoubtedly notice. He quickly signed it "Loki Laufeyson", without greeting, and folded it twice before he could change his mind or feel the shame of having to write it in one of Helas colored pencils since SHIELD still wouldn't allow him a damn pen.

He left the letter sitting in front of the little food-hatch in the kitchen and within the hour it had disappeared, assumingly being filtered through all the proper channels before reaching Asgard. He received a reply in the form of a thunderstorm a couple of days later, but not before Tony Stark could somehow get wind of Helas problems.

* * *

><p>Whoever read his outgoing messages was a blabbermouth, Loki concluded as he started to receive random advice about teaching Hela from selected Avengers during a crammed afternoon session on the towers well equipped lab.<p>

"She just needs to be properly motivated" Captain America advised as he was sitting shirtless on a cold slab of metal, allowing Banner to draw huge amounts of blood for some to Loki undisclosed reason.

"Some disciplined, well scheduled exercises and she'll be right as rain!"

"Or perhaps we could simply brew a potent tonic to have her magically gain all those desired abilities, since that is what helped you when rigorous exercise and discipline failed" Loki replied, his voice dripping with well-practiced hostility while Stark beamed at Rogers over the top of a computer screen.

"Would you like some water to apply to that burn, cap?"

"Please Tony, even I know that meme is tired and overused" the captain quipped, causing the two scientists heads to snap to his direction.

"What? I know what memes are. I looked it up on the Google. Nat keeps e-mailing me angry cats and images of dogs with incredibly poor grammar. I thought it was some sort of cipher"

"I'm gonna go ahead and buy that explanation. If you can learn to use memebase, I'm sure Hela can learn magic!"

Loki shot Stark an icy stare which the man didn't notice since he was bent over a series of microchips, carefully attaching tiny strings of metal to each one of them.

"How come all of you are suddenly so well-informed in the nature of my daughters... struggle?" the demigod asked, completely disregarding the printed photocopies of some glowing runes left on the side of the Baxter-building which he was supposed to study.

"A not-so-little arrow-loving purple bird whispered it in my ear" Tony smiled, his head once again popping up from behind the multiple screens to show off his unnaturally white teeth to Loki "And I told Bruce and Cap, because I thought they might like to pitch in. Also, because I'm a gossip. No use denying it"

"He really is" Banner said "I've learn so much useless Rihanna trivia since I started to use this lab I think I might actually be able to get a doctorate in that as well"

"Hey! That woman is a national treasure and every tidbit of information we get to know about her is a privilege" Stak empathized his words by pointing whatever tiny tool he was using to work on the microchips at Banner, who defensively held up his hands with a vial of Rogers blood still in them.

"I'm not criticizing Tony. If you love her so much why don't you just arrange for a private concert? You could afford that"

"I could. Pepper won't let me."

"Ah. Have you tried talking..."

"Don't make this about me when we're supposed to help this poor single mom who's trying to give his daughter a proper education in witchcraft and wizardry!" Stark deflected the attention back to Loki, who crossed his arms and arranged his features from slightly amused to menacing.

"I can not possibly phantom any reality in any universe in any part of the nine realms where your counsel in this matter would carry any significance" he said.

"She's scared of her powers" Banner started with his solemn, almost sullen voice without looking at anyone else as he spoke.

"You know nothing of it" Loki hissed.

"Maybe not" Banner shrugged, eyes still turned anywhere but at Loki "But from what I've been told about her attempts and the experience we have with mutant children developing their powers, being afraid to use them wrong, or to get in trouble, is usually an inhibitor"

"Maybe for your midgardian whelps…"

"Kids are kids, Loki" Steve interrupted "I don't claim to know Hela like you do, and I can't begin to understand what it's like growing up as an exiled aesir, but I don't see all that when I look at her. I see a little kid. A quiet, intelligent kid, but still a kid"

Loki felt like he should argue, or reply something devastatingly clever but he couldn't think of anything. He'd always seen his children as simply children, but he had never heard anyone else express the same thing, except maybe Heid. At that moment, he felt an enormous amount of gratitude towards the large man, the first person to ever ask his daughter name. Before Loki could say something uncharacteristically kind or express an emotion that wasn't snark, Tony ruined the moment by triumphantly shouting:

"I've got it!"

"Please Stark, spare us the details of whatever venereal disease you have contracted" It wasn't Lokis best joke, but it efficiently shattered that mushy feeling that might have caused him to say something nice to someone who wasn't Hela.

"That the best you've got, Trickster god?" Stark waited theatrically for Loki to say something more before continuing "I've got a fool-proof way to help Hela! It's got all the motivation a little girl might need for learning to conquer her possible fear of using magic!"

"You don't mean…" Banner was interrupted by Starks almost maniacal smile.

"Oh. I do."

Stark left whatever project he was working on in pieces all over his table and rushed out the room. Loki was unable to follow as he was chained to the table, so he simply stared at Banner who wouldn't meet his eyes.

* * *

><p>When Loki was returned to his apartment-prison several agonizingly long moments later Stark was already busy with setting up the television, his jeans clad behind the only thing visible as he plugged in cables and muttered things to himself.<p>

"We're gonna have a movie-night!" Stark announced happily, dust covering his dark hair as it became visible again when he stood up.

Loki hadn't plugged in the television set, firstly because he didn't see what purpose the machine would serve and secondly because he had no idea how. Suspiciously he rounded the sofa, only to find his daughter already plopped up on the soft pillows.

"We are going to watch a fairy tale, mother!" she said, her quiet voice filled with unusual expectation.

"Are we now?" Loki replied softly in old norse, taking a small, flat plastic container out of her hand and studying it intensely. It had a picture of a reindeer on it, as well as some humans with disproportionate eyes and a headless snowman.

"Is this appropriate, Stark?" he asked the billionaire as the man sprawled out in Lokis armchair, leaving him to take the sofa with Hela.

"Oh yeah. It's perfect! She'll love it" the billionaire ensured. Loki looked from Starks beaming face to Helas expectant green eyes and sighed, taking his place next to his daughter.

Tony had been right. As _Frozen_ progressed Hela became more and more involved in the story. She smiled at the jokes and scootched closer to her mother during the darker segments, displaying an for her unusual cavalcade of emotion during the movies run time. She was fascinated by Elsa and Loki had to admit that the young princess story seemed well suited for his daughters situation. As the end-credits rolled Hela rocked gently to the music, silently mouthing the words.

"Did you like it, Hela?" Tony asked, smiling at the child who simply gave him one silent nod as a reply "Then keep it! Watch it whenever you want!"

"Thank you" she whispered in her tiny hushed voice.

"How'd mom like it?" Tony asked as Loki accompanied him to the door, eager to get some alone time with Hela after spending almost the entire day in the company of the billionaire. His daughter was in desperate need of a hair cut. As usual.

"It was a monumental misrepresentation of the time-period, as well as rock trolls. They are in no way cuddly creatures, Stark, and they got the height wrong by several faðmr"

"Several whatnow?"

"Faðmr" Loki measured roughly the length of his outstretched arms to show what he meant.

"Ah, yards!"

"You have very small yards for a society built on agriculture" Loki remarked and Tony laughed, leaving the cell with a smile.

After he left it struck Loki that Stark was almost always referring to him as a mother, but didn't use it in a derogatory way. He'd become so accustomed to not being mocked that he didn't even notice until now.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Notes:<strong> So yeah, I wrote basically an entire chapter just to set that pretty bad Frozen-joke up. TIME WELL SPENT!


	29. Chapter 29

The reply from Frigga came later that week, announced by a sudden thunderstorm over the Stark Tower. Loki had not expected Thor to be delivering the message himself as he could just as well have sent it with one of the guards, but within twenty minutes his brother stood in his hallway, looking as sheepish as he always did during their awkward interactions.

"Brother" Loki greeted from his position in the armchair "Has Ratatoskr sprained a furry ankle since you are running messages from Asgard?"

"To my knowledge he is at full health, however you know very well that he does not travel to Midgard" Thor replied, either ignoring the sarcasm in Lokis vice or simply missing it.

"I wanted to come. It has been a long time, brother" he continued, letting himself in and carefully placing his massive body on the sofa, as if he was afraid to break it "Mother was happy to receive your letter, and I was happy to see you writing her"

"Spare me" Loki replied "I did not write to delight either of you"

"I know that, but I was still happy"

Curse Thors smile and the warmth in his voice, seemingly impossible to quench.

"How fares Hela?" the thunderer turned his head to try and catch a glimpse of his niece.

"She struggles with her magic, but in all other aspects she is well. She is sleeping"

"Oh, I would hope to converse with her before I leave. I have not seen her in quite some time"

"Curious, considering you vowed to return to visit her" Loki wasn't in the mood for arguing, but he couldn't help it. It was in his nature.

"And here I am" Thor spread his massive arms to further his point "Had I come sooner you would be annoyed with me for wearing out both the Bifrost and your scarce hospitality. There is no way not to annoy you, so I came when I had time and cause"

"Perhaps the impending burden of the crown had made you a little wiser" Lokis smile wasn't entirely hostile.

"Perhaps, brother" Thor sighed, shaking a loose strand of blonde hair out of his face "And how are you faring, Loki? You look… better than last we met"

"Last time I was recovering from a severe beating, brother" Loki reminded "Now I am simply tired. Failure is not my strong suite, and I am currently failing at helping my child, as I am sure your mortal friends have informed you"

"You were never graceful in defeat"

"Nor were you, brother"

"Aye, nor was I"

They sat in silence for a while, each of them lost in thought of times gone by, before going on to talk about simpler matters in the nine realms than their rather strained relationship. Hela eventually woke up and joined them in the living room. Thor idly chatted away with the child while Loki looked on like a protective mother hen, simultaneously delighted and jealous as how well the two seemed to get along. Of course it's easy to be interesting when you're the out-wordly uncle sweeping down once a year to tell stories of your glorious conquests, Loki told himself and felt a little better has Hela sat mesmerized by Thors description of a battle in Niefelheim.

Finally, they got to the inevitable part of Friggas reply. Thor handed Loki a small book with intricately detailed bindings that Loki vaguely recognized from some lost childhood memory.

"According to mother, this is all you require. She said that you would know what to do"

Loki accepted the book from Thor and turned it in his hands. It wasn't one of his first spellbooks, and he might have concluded. It was a story-book, the first he had ever read on his own. Loki hated that he understood what Frigga meant by this vague gesture and how well she must know him to pass this down to him.

"Thank you, brother" His tone was dismissive, urging his brother to leave.

"There is one more thing. A letter"

Thor shoved the tiny thing, already opened by SHIELD agents, into Lokis hands on top of the book.

"Do with it as you will"

"Do I not always?" Loki replied, before adding, as an afterthought "Do I dare ask about my son? You have not mentioned him"

"I have not, but do not fret brother. Sleipnir is well. He comes and goes as he pleases and he has a new stable hand that regularly speak to him."

"You set this up?"

"Aye. I visit when I can. So does mother"

Loki didn't reply. For a moment the brothers stood opposite each other, not sure what good byes to give. Thor considered attempting to embrace his brother, but Loki had never been found of that kind of affection, even in the time of their lives when they hadn't been fighting. He settled for quickly placing a large hand on Lokis thin shoulder, giving it what he hope was a reassuring squeeze.

"Worry not for your daughter, brother. She is undoubtedly clever and apt, like her father"

"Mother" Loki corrected "Unless you are referring to Heid, who is also clever and apt, but I am not sure you knew her well enough to know that"

Thor looked a little bit uncomfortable and Loki gave his back a quick genuine smile as he left. Nothing livened up an awkward farewell as making his brother a tad bit uneasy.

* * *

><p>Loki waited until nightfall to open Friggas letter. He didn't even know why he did it. He was still angry with her and she could say nothing to change that. He was convinced he would throw out the letter as soon as Thor left but for some reason he hadn't and throughout the rest of the day he had felt a strange sensation of expectation and dread at opening the letter. As he put Hela to bed, the girl insisting on wearing the Princess Elsa-dress Stark had gotten for her the day before, he sat down by the large windows and pulled out the neatly written words, the paper stained only once by what appeared to be a single small splash of water:<p>

_"Dearest Loki,_

_I realize the chance of these words ever reaching your eyes is virtually none, since Thor has already delivered what you asked. In your stubbornness you will probably toss this unto the nearest flame without reading, if they allow you flames in your midgardian prison. I hope they do. I know you have always found the flickering light comforting. Regardless of the futility, I write, because I fear I might break if I do not._

_I do not know if you recall the story of Star Eye, the tale of the girl from the frozen wastes whose mother lost her in the snow after a fierce battle. She was a child of wonders, a blessing to her adoptive mother, even when the child brought trouble with her. You loved it as a child and I am sure you will love it again as a mother. I did._

_I, the goddess of marriage and motherhood, was never a perfect parent to you or your brother. But I did my utmost, as I am sure you will for your children. Because no matter what form or path or children take, we never stop loving them. Even when they stray. Even when they hate us._

_With all my love,_

_Frigga, Queen of Asgard_

_Your mother "_

Loki read the letter twice and couldn't decide on a feeling. He choked down tears, anger and joy simultaneously, not sure if he wanted to settle for the familiar feeling of rage or something dangerously different. Finally he shoved the letter between two books in the living-room shelf and tip-toed into his sleeping daughter, pulling her close and holding her until morning.

* * *

><p>Loki had trouble resting that night, his sleep interrupted by equal amounts of half-forgotten childhood memories and haunting dreams of Asgard. He awoke at the break of dawn, well before his heavily sleeping daughter and would have settled for laying there watching the sunrise if he hadn't been forced up by the brutal hand of nausea. After vomiting up the scare content of last nights dinner, and miraculously avoiding getting any of it in his long hair, Loki sat back on the bathroom floor, a horrifying realization creeping up on him.<p>

"Impossible" he murmured has his hand automatically searched underneath his shirt for the scar from when he cut Hela out of his body.

He had to talk to Agent Coulson.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Notes:<strong> Stareye is a Swedish fairy tale from the middle of the 1700s. The premises reminded me of Lokis origin, but I don't recommend anyone to read it. It's rather tragic and also quite racist towards our indigenous population. Haven't figured out what Frigga meant by sending him the book? Don't worry, it'll be explained!


	30. Chapter 30

Standing in the middle of the tiny cell-kitchen Agent Phil Coulson was the model image of a cold uncaring government agency in his black suit, perfect posture and completely blank expression. His face and voice was kept so casually dismissive that it was almost uncanny, like a life-sized human decoy.

Loki was sitting down at the tiny table, pale-faced and in general looking like a mess as he had been spending the majority of the morning interchanging between being sick and forcing himself to drink water in order to have something to throw up. He'd hardly managed to stay upright as Captain America came to take Hela out for the day. As he finished telling Coulson about his concerns the agent looked at the screen of his phone twice before replying.

"We'll set up a blood test to see if your theory is correct. Someone will come by later today. When we know more SHIELD can decide on a plan of action"

"SHIELD had no authority to decide anything in this matter" Loki spat, but he sounded more tired than angry.

"The decision whether or not to keep it is of course up to you, but we still need to plan in accordance with your decision"

"I do not think you fully understand the gravity of this situation" Loki leaned his aching head in his hands, his shoulders slumped and his green eyes ablaze.

"This is an impossible thing. It should not come to pass"

"Well, the impossible seems to keep happening to you" There it was, the tinge of bitterness in the agents voice, covered by layers of carefully constructed neutrality. Had Loki not been as baffled by the mornings events he might have smiled at it.

"The things you deem impossible you often do so because of your limited understanding of the mystic arts. This is truly impossible. Magic is what allows me to carry a child in this form, Agent. My power is what nurtures it as it develops, my body is simply a container. But this" he tapped the collar around his neck "cuts me off from the source of my sorcery and thusly should not be able to come down with child as a male. And even if I am capable, I do not have the strength left to nurture it to term. If I do not receive aid, this child will be stillborn"

"The collar is not coming of"

"I am not asking for that" The look in Lokis eyes was the same look he'd had on that cold plain when he'd given himself up for Helas sake years ago "You have mystics in your realm, in your employment even. If they could find a way to aid it… perhaps it has a chance"

"Let's wait for the bloodwork before we do anything else" Coulson replied casually.

"How long are you going to keep this cold demeanor up?" Loki asked "Agent, I am a frost giant, born in a realm of permanent winter and even I can feel the chill in your voice"

"You are a prisoner of SHIELD. I'm not sure what you're expecting, but I assure you familiarity is not part of our protocol"

"Must be a recent change, because it feels like it used to be"

"We can't be held responsible for what you think you feel, Laufeyson"

"Oh spare me the poorly told lies, Agent. You do not get the title of prince of them without being able to spot them" Loki smiled weakly and wryly "I understand that you are angry with me, even if I do not believe I deserve it in this particular case. I ask that you set your anger aside for just a moment and listen"

"I have listened"

"Listen to my voice as much as my words, agent"

Loki was frightened. He knew Agent Coulson had been around him long enough to be able to tell and yet the man kept his distance. Loki hadn't expected it to hurt, but it did. Before, in the days after Heids visit, he had found Coulsons poorly concealed rage to be amusing, but now, being faced with this impossible thing, he found himself missing the feeling that the agent cared about him. Instead of replying Coulson fiddled with his phone again, directing his attention to whatever was happening on the tiny screen.

In that moment Loki vowed to one day wreak vengeance upon Earth by destroying every one of those hateful little computers and watch the world plunge into chaos as no-one could ever again text during a conversation. The demigod was just about to make a rather hurtful remark when he felt a tiny electrical shift in the air, so faint it was almost unnoticeable. Coulson pocketed his phone, relaxing his posture a bit.

"There. Mics are off" the agent sighed heavily before continuing "What do you want from me, Loki?"

"I want you to assure me that even though you do not approve of it's conception with Heid you will do everything in your power to help this child" Lokis voice was thick and his eyes turned away.

Coulson sat down across from him at the small table, his neutral look replaced with one of concern and something else that Loki couldn't identify.

"Of course I will" he said softly and almost without thinking Loki reached out across the short distance of the table and grabbed the agents hand. Instead of pulling away, Coulson turned his hand so that they were grasping each other palm to palm. After an all-too brief moment the agent released Loki and the demigod allowed him to pull away.

"The mics are off. Not the heat-cameras"

"How terribly unfortunate" Loki looked more himself as he gave the agent one of his crooked smiles "Especially as I must look a marvel of desirability in my rather wretched state"

"You're not really my type"

"Once again I have to remind you that being quite the storyteller myself I excel at seeing through the lies of others"

"You understand that they'll remove me from your case if anything would...happen? They should have done it already, but we've been making good progress and you have become a valuable asset to SHIELD, so they have been lenient so far"

"Or perhaps SHIELD is not managed with quite such excellence as you like to believe"

"Oh, it's pretty efficient" Coulson leaned back a bit before he continued "Loki, are you sure you're pregnant?"

"No" the demigod admitted "But the sensation is familiar. Not just the rather ungraceful purging but there is a draining sensation in the place where my magic used to be"

He touched his chest absent-mindedly and Coulson found himself distracted by how the long, elegant fingers plucked on the fabric.

"We'll wait for the blood-work to come back and take it from there. Worst case scenario we'll trap you in a mystic circle for nine months. You'll be completely isolated for the duration of the pregnancy though"

Loki laughed at that, tiredness mixing with relief. He even slapped a hand on the table in amusement and dried a tear before clarifying why to the agent.

"Phil, my first pregnancy was spent as a horse, the second as the butt of every joke at Asgards court, the third in a cave in Svartalfheim and the fourth on the run in the dull north of your land. Isolation trapped inside a hex sounds wonderful"

* * *

><p>Agent Coulson stayed in Lokis cell as a rather nervous nurse came in and drew the needed blood sample. Casually, but commanding, the agent instructed her to have the blood-work done as soon as possible and was promised results within the hour. During this time Loki paced the length of the windows impatiently like a general before the dawn of battle, only interrupted by the occasional nausea. Agent Coulson sat silently on the sofa, offering the comfort of his presence which Loki, as silently, appreciated. Within the hour, Agent Coulson's phone made that annoying buzzing sound and as he read whatever was on the screen his face seemed to pale a little.<p>

"Tell me!" Loki demanded, rather loudly, from the other side of the room.

"You're not pregnant" Agent Coulson looked up just in time to see the demigods utterly relieved expression.

"By the Nine Realms that is grand news" he sighed "I would not like to have yet another child in captivity"

Then his head snapped to Agent Coulson's face, as the relief gave way to a new realization.

"If I am not with child, why am I sick?"

"That's the bad news" the agent scrolled down on his phone, reading what seemed to be a rather long message "You have a rare Campylobacter C-infection, a string we've never seen before and one that seems to violently attack the stomach"

"Could you please explain in a way that an extraterrestrial from a completely different scientific society might comprehend?"

"You've got a super-version of the stomach flu"

Loki snorted and folded his arms.

"Impossible. Your midgardian bacteria could hardly affect me"

"Probably not but this string doesn't look entirely midgardian according to the initial tests. It might have been brought here from another realm, by either Thor or your lady friend. Since you don't seem to be severely sick you'll probably just have to wait it out. Unless the symptoms gets any worse there's no need to worry for you"

Loki caught the change in the agents tone and eyes him carefully.

"No need for me to concern myself then, but there are needs for others?" he asked slowly and Coulson nodded.

"Campylobacter can be transmitted by touch and air and the diseases it causes it sort of indiscriminatory, some can affect both humans and animals. Influenza B for example only seems to affect humans and seals. Since we don't know how this is transmitted and how bad the effects are on people without ailen immune systems we'll have to quarantine everyone who've come into contact with you in the last week to avoid a possible outbreak" Coulson looked up at Loki, who to his credit wasn't grinning "This includes Hela, me, and three out of the five Avengers currently on Earth"

"And one nurse" Loki added helpfully.

"And one nurse" Coulson echoed before standing up to be able to lock eyes with the trickster on at least somewhat even height "Loki, did you plan this?"

"You give my ingenuity too much credit, agent" Loki laughed, spreading his arms "It would have been a glorious long-term plan to infect you all and then stroll out the door as your heroes lay scattered before me in their own excrement but alas, I am feeling much too nauseated to plan anything at all"

As if to put some weight to his words he was forced down into his arm chair as it felt as if the floor spann underneath him. For a moment he thought he would have to once again have to complete the demeaning task of hurrying to the bathroom, but the feeling passed.

"This is not a trick, agent" he assured Coulson who was looming over him "Or if it is, it is not by my design. I would never do anything quite as vile as this. I might create a wormhole through time and space to be able to bring an invading alien army to your world but I would not stoop to this"

"I believe you" Agent Coulson sighed "This doesn't have the dramatic flare that you seem to be so utterly fond of"

"Will Hela be returned here shortly then?" Loki asked, stroking his hair back in an effort to not look the mess he felt like.

"That's the final kicker" Coulson sat down hard on the sofa, almost slumping in his seat "Since we want to limit any further exposure until we know how infectious this strain is and know more about how it transmits no-one is being taken to any medical areas. No one is being moved. Hela will remain with Captain Rogers for the time being and…"

"You will have to remain here. Locked up. With me"

"So it would seem. For at least 24 hours until we can determine if I'm infected or not. I don't suppose you know how to play poker?"

If Coulson was unsettled by the way Loki grinned he didn't show it.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Notes:<strong> OhMahOdin 30 chapters. 30! That's like an amazing amount of weird, norse-god prison-parenting, Loki-angst and Coulson-flirtation. I intended to make this some sort of special chapter that would have... well... something _special_ but it just didn't feel right considering the somewhat cliffhanger ending of the last chapter.

And yes, I know I'm mixing two types of influenza viruses but DAMNIT Jim I'm a fanfiction writer, not a doctor!


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